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We stayed for another hourwhile Mr. Kramer gave a stern talking to the boys before allowing them to go back to class. He said since this was the first time any of them were in trouble, and because of their age, they weren’t going to be punished as long as they understood the rules we, the parents, would go over with them tonight. They apologized to each other and also to the art teacher.
Mr. Kramer asked me to stay for a minute when Garrett’s mother was leaving and Landon was helping Bree. I didn’t even bother looking in their direction. He said he was sorry for what was said to Jacob, and they have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying. He would make sure the teacher keeps a closer eye on the situation. He’d also have a talk with Mrs. Drake. He was really quite nice.
The last thing I wanted to do was see Bree and Landon when I got to my Jeep, but his truck was parked next to mine. I don’t have the patience for this right now, after what went down in there and back at the diner. Bree looks at me through the passenger side. Before I get to my car, he steps in front of me. The words come before he has a chance to open his mouth.
“I have all the answers I need. You don’t need to say anything else.”
“Listen to me, Lace.” He holds his hand up, blocking my way.
“No.” I shake my head. I don’t need to hear any more. This is it.
“Yes,” he snaps. “What happened inside doesn’t change us. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you or you feel about me. We can make this work. I’ll make it work. We’ll fix it all.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” The anger I couldn’t show inside rises fully to the surface.
“Lacey, I need you to listen to me. Don’t ruin this. Please, this can all be fixed.”
No. No more trying to fix. I’m sick of trying to fix things. I’ve been fixing things for a long time. You know what happens if you keep trying to fix things that keep breaking down after the first fix? The fix is temporary, and after every fix, it’s never quite the same. It will never come back to its original state. Eventually, after one-too-many fixes, there has to be a change. And it has to be a change to something new. Something better, if there is such a thing as better.
My lips tremble, and I shake my head. He knows what’s coming; he practically begs me not to say another word, pulling me into his arms. I can’t. I can’t do this with him. I can’t wait for him to leave me again. That’s what I’ve been doing, and I just can’t.
“Lacey, baby, I love you. This is our second chance; we were meant to be. Believe in us. Don’t—Don’t ruin us without giving us a chance. Please.” I hold my hand against his chest.
He holds onto my hand, keeping it in place, against the beautiful scrolling letters of my name. Over my forever that will never be. I try to find my suddenly missing voice. “We tried. And I can’t anymore.”
“Just like that, you’re letting us go? No! You’re not trying.”
“How are we going to be happy if our kids can’t be? We found our way back together because of them. Their friendship is now ruined because of us. Seeing him in there like that broke my heart. I realized I’m all he had in there. I was the only one who believed in him. There are going to be harder times ahead than that for him. I need someone who is going to stand up with us, fully, no matter who else is in the room. Not divided.”
“Lace—”
“Please let me go.” Tears roll down my cheek. “My mind is made up. You can’t change it. Don’t call me. Don’t stop by. Just don’t. You love me? You love my kid? If you want to make me happy…stop, please.” I wipe the tears away and try to keep from running past him.
Jumping into my Jeep, there’s a loud bang that makes me jump. I realize it's his hand slamming against the top of his truck. I press my lips together in a muffled cry. I look up, and there she is looking into my eyes. His future, the one who followed after me all those years ago. His present wife.
In her eyes, I see neither one of us is happy.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” I lay my head on the arm of the couch, mindlessly watching whatever is on the TV, while Shay sits next to me.
“The world’s not over.”
“It feels like it’s getting there.”
“You gotta get it together for Jacob. You can’t let him see you this way.”
“I know. I’m holding it together the best I can around him.”
She puts her hand on my head, stroking my hair. “It’s not enough.”
I also know this. “Why does it always have to be a struggle? Why does it have to be so hard?”
“What?”
“Life. When you think you just might conquer it, something else comes and knocks you down. I doubted that we could make it work. Then I thought we could actually do it. The second time around feels just as hard as the first. The first time I didn’t see it coming. This time I had doubts, but then things were going so well. I was happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time—maybe since the day my life was ripped apart. I thought we could actually do it, rearrange history and right the wrongs. I was so mistaken.
“I should have listened to you and mom. I should have listened, Shay. If I had, history wouldn’t be repeating itself. I wouldn’t be a crying mess. I wouldn’t have gotten Jacob’s hopes up—my God, Shay, I hurt him. It’s my fault. I was selfish. I knew the risks of getting him attached, and I still took it.”
