AllFreeNovel
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Midday in the corner of the bar, nursing the same fucking drink for two hours, poring over a stack of paperwork, but not making it past the first five pages, isn’t what I would call living your life to its fullest potential.”
“Enlighten me, Trigg, what would be?” I sigh, not looking up from the paper I’ve been staring at for God knows how long.
“I’m glad you asked, boss partner. Another woman.” He leans on the bar across from me.
“How the hell would that help me? The last time I did that I ended up with a wife and a baby. Many years later, here I am, still trying to get over the same broken heart for the same woman. Life has changed and gone on, but my heart hasn’t. I fucked it all up again, man.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a better man than me.”
“Am I really? I fucking failed her, again.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? If it was me, I would have fucked my way through so many women already, they’d be able to fill half a continent. Your problem is you’re a good guy who never got over his first and greatest love.”
He’s right. I never got over her. And that’s a fucking shame for me, Bree, her, and our kids. Even worse because I don’t know how to let her go. The plain truth is that I don’t want to, no matter how much pain I’m in. The pain of letting go of even the memory of her, and what we’ve shared in this life, is much worse to me. That would be the greatest tragedy of our love, to me.
My phone rings next to me on the bar. It’s Lacey. Holy fuck. My heart rises with hope and an ache for her that never goes away, whether we’re separated by time or space.
Not letting another ring go by I answer, with the greatest of hope that she has found some way in her to take me back, to start again.
“Landon, hi!” Jacob’s voice bursts through the phone, surprising the hell out of me.
“Hey, buddy, what’s going on? Is everything all right with your mom and you?”
“Ahhhmm…” he pauses, his voice hesitant and low. “It’s mommy.”
“Jacob,” I say, getting off the stool to head over to Lacey’s, panic rising. “What’s wrong with mommy?”
The next words out of his mouth are ones I’m not expecting to hear. The vulnerability and sadness blow me back down on my seat.
“You made my mommy sad. You made her cry.”
FUCK. I squeeze my eyes shut at the pain in his words. The disappointment and regret in myself.
“I know I did, bud. I’m sorry.”
“Then come back. You can make her happy again.”
Dammit, I wish I could. But she asked me to stay away. I need to respect what she wants, as wrong as I think she is for asking me to stay away. From trying to fix this, no matter how amazing I know we could be together, no matter the pain it may cause. I need to respect what she wants.
“Jacob, I can’t.”
“Why? Did I do something wrong?”
Goddamn it, he’s killing me. “No, never. This is hard, Jacob. It’s grown-up stuff you won’t understand…I can’t, Jacob, but maybe I can still see you.”
The pause is so long I think the phone has cut off, until his voice cuts in loud and thunderously clear. Filled with anger aimed squarely at me, the man who inadvertently hurt not only him, but his mother.
“NO! You’re just like my real daddy. You don’t want to see us anymore. We don’t want you either. Leave us alone! My Mommy doesn’t like you anymore, go away.” The line goes dead.
“Jacob—GODDAMN IT!” I pound my fist on the wood, phone clenched in my hand in an attempt not to break it, ignoring the shooting pain.
Trigg comes down from the other end of the bar where he was restocking. “What the hell happened? Is Jacob okay?”
“Hell no, he’s not. I fucked up so bad.” I shake my head, feeling like the lowest scum on earth.
“He just gave me the ultimate kids’ equivalent of fuck you.”
“Brutal.” He pulls out the best top-shelf liquor we have. He comes around the counter slapping my shoulder, shoving me to my office. “You’ll need this for the midday mind fuck. Tell Dr. Trigg all about.”
