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“Me too.” More than anything I’m hoping that maybe this is the one, and maybe just maybe, he can look past what I’ve done if he ever finds out because I have no intention of ever telling him about the club and what I do. It would be disastrous for not only me but my brothers, and there is no way I could put them in harm's way to be ripped away from each other. I’m already risking too much as it is, for a little bit of happiness, for something that’s just mine. That makes me feel so good, like the way he makes me feel with one smile aimed at me or the touch of his hands against my skin. I want this. I want him.
“I want to see you finally settle down and be happy,” my grandfather continues, almost mirroring the thought in my head. “All of you, especially the kids. It’s about time you guys had something good in your lives.”
“You are so right.” I pat his arm, leaning my head on his shoulder, watching the ducks go by. “So right.”
* * *
I pull into the driveway,surprised to see Noah sitting on the porch with his back turned to me. I wasn’t expecting to see him today. When we talked today, he said he was going to head home and get some rest and do some things around his apartment. I was disappointed. I wouldn’t see him but I understood. He’s been working and coming over here to help me fix things, painting on his off days and after work. Which I’m grateful for but seeing him now after Grandpa is exactly what I needed.
“What are you doing?” I say, leaning on the rail in front of him.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” He looks up, holding a paintbrush in the air with dark blue paint on it. He stands, leaning into my personal space, one hand on my hip.
“It looks like you’re painting, which is a surprise to me since you told me you wouldn’t have time for me,” I tease, hooking my arm around his neck.
“Lies. All lies.” He presses his lips against my neck and nuzzles the spot.
I lean into it letting the warmth of his body, the caress of his skin against mine, and the fresh soapy scent of his skin and aftershave fill and warm me, from the chill and realization of the ever-present looming loss of my grandfather. Even though it’s the middle of summer and the night is warm, while talking to Grandpa I felt it, something beyond my control coming…
“I couldn’t stay away. I came home, took a shower, ate, and did some things and during all of it, all that was on my mind was you. So here I am.”
“And here you are. Exactly when I need you.” I brush my finger through the side of his hair and kiss him. I break the kiss and smile. “So you missed me so much you decided to put yourself to work and paint?” I look at the half he’s done so far, it looks good.
He shrugs with a smile. “I was looking at the steps the last time I was over here—”
“Yesterday.” I smirk.
“Yes, yesterday.” He smirks back. “I was doing a light inspection of my handy work and saw how noticeable the old wood was from the new. I made a mental note, the easiest fix for it would be to paint it. I stopped by the store when you went to see your grandpa and picked it up. Thought it would be a nice surprise for you. And look…welcome mat! Great mat.” He grins. “It was on sale.”
How is this man real? He comes home from a long day at work at a high-stress job, hangs out with my brothers he actually likes, smart-mouthed attitude and all, and puts himself to work for free on a house that’s not even his.I look at the mat I hadn’t even noticed. Unfucking real.
“What do you think of it? By the look on your face, if you don’t like it I can return it. I do have an in with the owner of the store, we’re related. So…perks.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. “It’s an amazing rug. In fact, when I was stacking them myself, I was considering buying one, I liked it so much. But here it is.” I sniff, all of a sudden feeling stupid for getting emotional over a fucking welcome mat.
“Are you going to cry?” He looks at me in such horror it’s almost comical. “I can return it—I will return it. Matter of fact—” He steps back reaching out to take up my new pretty mat
“Drop my mat! I say, moving him back. “I love the mat. The thing is, my grandpa isn’t doing as well as I hoped he was, memory and everything. It made me sorta feel down. But I don’t feel like talking about it now.”
“I’m sorry. What can I do to make you feel better?” He pulls me in close with his free hand and rubs my back.
“This, you’ve already done it.” I look at the brightly colored mat with flowers curling around each letter of the words, Welcome Home. “It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I needed right now and in my life. Thank you for being so considerate and caring.”
“No problem.” He pulls me in even closer, up against his chest.
I bring his head down and pull his firm lower lip between mine and stroke my tongue over it. He moans and my teeth bite down lightly, tempting him to open wider for me. When he does, my tongue snakes into his mouth sweeping through in a thorough kiss which leaves no guessing as to how much I appreciate it all and want him. “Put the paintbrush down. I have work for you to do inside,” I say against his mouth.
“Yes, ma’am!” He drops the brush in the can with a thunk.
He grabs me by the hand and I try to keep up with him smiling past Ryan, Drew, and Axel, on the couch playing games. I smile and wave to them.
“Hey, guys, your sister is going to show me some spots that need touching up in her room.”
“I’m sure,” Drew says, with a huff without looking our way. “Don’t touch them too loudly though. Younger ears than ours are down here.”
I shake my head. Always Drew with the comeback.
An hour later, the house settles down. I’m laying in bed with Noah and I get a text. And just like that, my happy bubble bursts, and reality starts to seep back in with a message from Celeste at the club. Rolling away from Noah, I lean away from him on my elbow to read the message. I have a date for tonight if I want it, definitely tomorrow night with a few guys and one with Thom when he’s in town next week.
