AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I scooped her into a bear hug, so damn grateful she’d survived and that I had her in my life. “I am thankful for you and your baptism by fire every day I'm alive. You are the strongest person I know and anyone who tells you differently can deal with me. Because yoga be damned, I'll beat their ass.”
“Mindfully. Beat them mindfully,” she gave a watery laugh, “then it’s still following the principles of yoga.”
“Good plan. See, you’re the genius in this family.” I kissed the top of her head.
“Don’t you forget it,” she teased, sniffing and smoothing her hair that I'd ruffled. “Now you need to look at your priorities and figure out a way to be with that woman or you’re going to be doomed to drinking beer with your little sister as your entire social life.”
“That is not a bad deal for me,” I insisted.
“You know something I learned from my therapist, A? Forget what everyone thinks. They’re probably not thinking about you anyway, and if they are, it’s none of their business. If you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else, then you’re doing all right. Don’t let what other people might think keep you from living your life on your terms.”
“You’re so wise,” I teased, “you should write fortune cookies.”
“Horoscopes. There, you totally ruined the surprise. I’ll wear a lot of beads and scarves and tell fortunes, just repeating what my therapist told me.”
“Don’t laugh. You’d probably help a ton of people who aren't brave enough to go to therapy, but they'll pay to have their cards read or whatever,” I said, only half joking.
Because my sister had that habit of nailing me, of saying exactly what I needed to hear. Even when it was the opposite of what I wanted to hear. She’d given me a lot to think about.
The next day at the gym, I had just finished totaling the month’s receipts and new memberships and I stood up to stretch. The window of my office looked out onto the workout floor, giving me a view of the action in the gym. I surveyed the number of clients on the machines, the staff working the floor, the way traffic flowed and the cleanliness and ventilation. Everyone seemed good, and I had that moment of taking a deep breath and feeling satisfied with what I had, with what I'd worked so hard to achieve.
My eyes avoided her. I intentionally didn’t look in Leanne’s direction. She was covering another Zumba class, shadowing one of the trainers and then doing a solo training session herself later. I had worked out her schedule myself, careful to give her opportunities to learn, chances to pitch in, and plenty of distance from me.
I’d thought about what Cory said to me, but I had the nagging feeling that it didn’t match up with the standards I set for myself. I didn’t want to get involved with a student. Still, what she had told me about low key judging my best friends for their choices—that had chafed. I had given that some serious consideration and decided my sister was right as usual. I wasn’t rolling with a live and let live attitude like I thought I was. Instead, I was feeling self-righteous and making the occasional smartass remark to my friends about their relationships. That wasn’t the way I wanted to treat the guys who were such a big part of my life and had been supportive of me even when I acted like an ass. They deserved better from me than my silent judgment.
Still, I tried not to let my gaze rest on Leanne as she crossed the floor to the reception desk and picked up a cell phone and answered it. She was flushed from working out, her energy and warmth obvious even in the way she walked and the way she smiled at people. I caught myself appreciating the sight of her, drinking her in. I was blinking, looking away when I saw something that fixed my gaze back on her.
Leanne’s flushed face turned pale, almost gray. She put a hand over her mouth as she listened to whoever was on the phone. I was out of my office and across the room to the reception desk in an instant. Instinct took over. I put a steadying hand on her elbow, knowing that her legs were about to give way. Silently, I looked at her with concern, my entire body trained toward her protectively, curving around her as if I could take the blow of whatever was upsetting her.
“Yes, yes, okay, I understand,” she said quickly in a raspy voice that was totally unlike her own.
Leanne tried to end the call and put the phone down but fumbled and dropped it on the counter. I handed it back to her and she shook her head, raising her eyes to mine. They were bright with tears and with a single blink, they spilled over, a river sliding down both her cheeks, her lower lip trembling and the quiver of her chin.
“What’s wrong?” I managed to ask her.
When I spoke, her face just crumpled. She dissolved into tears--I never understood that phrase until I saw it happen. I saw her transformed, saw her draw in on herself, shoulders bowed with the weight of something terrible, her whole body and personality almost seeming to shrink as she shook with sobs.
I didn’t hesitate. It never occurred to me not to take her in my arms and hold her. She fitted against my chest, her cheek in the hollow between my pectorals, and my shirt grew wet with the heat of her tears. I didn’t rub her back or stroke her hair or murmur anything soothing. I just stood there, the port in her storm, and held her, steadfast, until she was able to collect herself.
At last, her hard, wracking sobs slowed, punctuated by hiccups. Suze pushed a box of tissues across the counter to me and I offered them to Leanne. She made a squeaking sound that I think was supposed to be ‘thank you’ and without pulling away from me, she took a handful of tissues and blew her nose repeatedly, mopped up her face, and finally looked up at me. The clearest thing in her expression was fear.
“I’ve got you,” I said, and it felt like the right thing to say. She nodded, like she was agreeing that, yes, I was here for her. “What’s going on?”
“My dad,” she managed, her voice as thin and cracked as if she’d screamed for hours. She didn’t stammer. Her voice, bleak with terror, was steady as a drum. “He’s had a heart attack. He’s at the hospital now.”
“Which hospital?” I asked. She managed to tell me.
I turned to the receptionist on duty and told her to cancel Leanne’s training for the rest of the day, and that I'd be out of the facility, but I'd have my cell if there was an emergency. Suze nodded and started making calls. I checked my pocket for keys and phone and then shepherded Leanne out to my truck. My arm was around her shoulders, tucking her into my side. There was no question of my taking her to the hospital and waiting with her, no question that I'd call someone else instead.
She didn’t say another word as I ushered her to my truck and opened the door, helping her climb up inside. When I pulled out of the parking spot and into traffic, she reached out and grabbed my hand and held it. I looked at her, gave a nod, and laced our fingers together. Comforting her, keeping her close. Her eyes were wide, round, tears spilling from them frequently, her lips pursed and her throat working as she struggled to swallow the tears.
When I reached the hospital, I unhooked her seat belt and pulled her into my arms and hugged her for a minute. She didn’t just sit there this time and passively let me hold her like she had after the call. This time she held on tight, her arms around me, her fingers clutching my shirt like I was the only thing keeping her afloat. I would be that for her and more, gladly. Anything she needed. It had happened so naturally, moving to take care of her, letting my instincts take the lead. She needed me, and my entire being flared to life and answered that call. Everything else burned away the instant she reached for my hand.
I had told her that I had her.
But the truth was, I was hers now.
CHAPTER15
