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Maybe that’s what I am—a fire elemental.
“I know you’re upset about Will, but we’re having another pack bonfire this weekend. We have one every Saturday. Please come with me. I won’t leave your side. We can hang out and have a good time. And if Will comes up to you and tries to start anything, I will finish it. And I plan on talking to him.” Parker clenches his jaw. “He had no right to say anything to you.”
“It’s okay.” I lick my lips. “Will is allowed to feel however he wants to about me. I can handle him. And I know I probably shouldn’t, but I will come with you to the bonfire.”
He grins. “Great. I’ll pick you up early on Saturday afternoon. Bring warm clothes because it’s going to get cold. And don’t freak out if you see wolves roaming around.”
It’s worth saying yes just to see Parker smile.
18
I must be crazy.
As the week goes by, my stomach feels more and more fluttery. My body tingles, and my heart races. It’s hard to sleep at night. All I want to do is get out of the house. Out of town. I want to…
Spread my wings.
I pace back and forth in the living room, chewing on my fingernail.
It’s Friday night. Parker is running with some of his pack members tonight. If he doesn’t shift for a while, he feels antsy. Like me, I realize. I’ve also learned that if he doesn’t get to shift, he won’t be able to hold it back. Since they go to public school, the high school aged pack members are encouraged to shift a few times a week.
Is that what’s bothering me?
Sweat drips down my brow and my back aches. It’s like my body is trying to tell meYES!I really, really need to let my wings out. And not just stretch them. I need to use them.
I must be crazy. I can’t just fly. What if I can’t do it? What if they’re just for ascetic purposes?
The thought makes me laugh out loud. Of course I can fly. What would be the point of the wings if not? That’s just ridiculous. Besides, it’s a feeling I have deep down. I know I can do it.
I can’t take this. I have to get out of the house. I throw open the front door and rush out. I don’t even bother grabbing something to keep me warm. As it is, I’m sweating. It’s so hot.
I have no idea where I’m going. I know that Parker is going to be running with some of his pack members, so I want to avoid him. I just take a path and I run. After a moment, I realize I’m heading toward the peak of a mountain. I know that Parker doesn’t generally run this way. They keep close to home so they can keep an eye on things and make sure everybody is safe.
I need to get there. Now.
Once again, there is a bright light. I keep my eyes open this time and realize the light is a flame. My entire body is on fire and when the flames die down, I’m on the peak of the mountain. I was miles away from here moments ago, and now I’m just here.
I make sure that nobody is around and I will for my wings to come out. They instantly appear and my entire body shakes with relief. I must be like the wolves—I can’t keep my wings hidden away for very long. They need to be stretched.
Am I really doing this? What if a human sees me? Then again, no human comes out this far. I’m above pack land. And it doesn’t matter—I have to do this. I don’t have a choice. I only hope nobody from Parker’s pack sees me.
Not wanting to hold back any longer, I run to the edge of the cliff and jump. I extend my wings and I glide forward. I want to go higher, so I flap them a few times and I look down at the forest below me.
Should I be scared? I’m so high, but this feels… right. This is what I was made for.
My heart races as I fly over the land. It looks so different from up here—so small.
This is what true freedom feels like.
There is no headache. No voices. No anything. Just true bliss.
Is this what shifting feels like for Parker?
Parker has told me a few times that shifting is a feeling that he can’t describe. The best way he can explain it is that it feels like two halves coming together. And that’s how I feel right now. Whole. For the first time in my life.
I’m not sure how long I stay up in the sky, circling the same area, praying not to be seen. But when I land back on the peak, my wings are sore. They’re probably going to hurt later, but I can’t bring myself to care. It’s worth every bit of pain.
I will my wings to go away as I look at the path down the mountain. It’s a long walk home.
