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“Rae, does something hurt?” I wait for an answer. Her reddened face, streaked with tears reveals nothing, and she continues to cry.
I sit next to her again and her widened baby blues look at me. All I see is fear as she shakes her head yes. Then I see she’s leaning her head to the right side and still tugging at her left ear.
“Rainey? Does your ear hurt?” She vigorously shakes her head up and down, causing a few stray tears to fly off her face and onto my forearm. I look to Logan for help.
“If this were Maggie, I’d give her some pain reliever and take her to urgent care. She’s probably fine, maybe just an earache, but I like to side with caution.”
His advice seems sound, and because I have no intuition of my own to follow, I go with it. Logan retrieves the children’s pain medicine from the bathroom while I work on wrangling my niece—who is now screaming—into a jacket. I feel bad for Logan because this is definitely going to wake Maggie up.
“Are you okay with taking her alone? I can go with you, but I’ll have to get Maggie ready.”
I have no confidence it’s true, but I assure him I’ll be fine. Rainey’s cries are ripping my heart in two. All I want to do is take her pain away and let her know it will be okay. She screams the entire way to the closest open urgent care center just inside Newport, and I cry right along with her.
I get her inside, but the clerk can’t register her in their system without proof I can make medical decisions for her. I didn’t know I’d need my guardianship documentation, and my stress pools into anger. There’s a kid, clearly in pain, in front of a medical team, and they’re delaying her care because I’m missing a piece of paper.
I call Logan, who answers on the first ring hoping to hear what the doctor said about Rainey. When I explain the problem, he locates the guardianship document attached to the side of my refrigerator and texts me a photo. The lady working registration apologizes as my anger and fear mingle, causing tears to leak out of my eyes again.
Way too long after arriving at urgent care, Rainey’s finally in a room, and the nurse gives her something to help her relax while we wait for the doctor to see her.
“There’s a little boy who came in right before you. He’s in a critical situation, and we’re waiting for an ambulance to arrive. It may be a bit before the doctor comes in,” she apologizes.
I give the nurse a look that must shoutpanicbecause she assures me the doctor will be in soon to evaluate Rainey fully and decide on a plan of care.
Logan: Have you heard anything yet?
Logan texts my phone while I’m staring at the sweet face of my niece, now asleep thanks to the medication the nurse provided. Her cheeks are raw from her using her sleeves to wipe the tears away.
Noah: Waiting to see the doctor. Emergency case came in right before us.
Logan: How’s Rainey feeling?
I relay everything that’s happened since he texted me my guardianship papers.
Logan: It’s going to be okay. Is this the first time she’s been sick since you’ve had her?
Noah: Yeah.
My phone rings and I see Logan is now trying to video call me. I know he probably hit the wrong button, but I answer anyway.
His face pops onto the screen and I see he’s sitting on the couch in a gray t-shirt and his hair’s wet. He must have showered after we left.
“It’s going to be okay, Noah.” He looks straight into the camera.
“I know,” I half-heartedly agree.
“The first time Maggie got sick I was terrified and convinced myself she was probably dying. I insisted on taking her to the emergency room, and Hannah agreed. Ended up with a big bill, only to find out she had a cold.”
His story takes my mind off of Rainey, who is lying on the exam table next to me. I stroke her hair.
“But she was okay?”
“Yeah, she was fine. She’s been sick too many times to count since then. I can’t say I haven’t had moments of panic, but I’ve gotten better at separating my feelings from what’s actually going on. It’s hard because it hurts to see such a perfect little person in pain.”
It occurs to me his video chat wasn’t a mistake. He called to be with me while I’m here alone.
“Logan?”
“Yeah?” He pulls his brows together.
