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“So it's slow?”
“As slow as it has to be to get the job done. That could change at any time though.”
Aiden nods, a flicker of admiration crossing his face. “Alright then. Just...be careful, OK? I don't want you to get hurt.”
I smile but it's half-hearted because inside, my heart is tearing at the edges of the barely healed wound Aiden Lawrence left me with last time.
Knowing I need to get out of this apartment and away from him—for self-preservation if nothing else—I place my empty glass on the counter and move to the door.
“Marls...” he says soft and rough, the sheer torture in his tone giving me pause as my fingers grip the door handle. “For what it's worth, I'm sorry…for everything.”
A pang of nostalgia twists in my chest, the memories of our past overwhelming me as they all come flooding back.
Closing my eyes, I take a huge fortifying breath and huff it out again. “I know,” I reply. “But that doesn't change a thing, Aiden. You destroyed what we had, what we could’ve had. I’m not sure we can ever get back to that.”
“Not sure is enough for me.”
“Aiden…”
“Goodnight, Beautiful. Get home safe,” he whispers, and the cadence of his voice has my heart aching in a way it hasn’t done for months now. Damn him…
Without another word I open the door and step outside, holding my head up high as I walk toward the elevator and press the call button. When the doors close and I’m alone, I feel like I can finally breathe freely again, and I do it with a single tear trailing down my face.
So much for being over it... and over him.
Chapter 6
Marlee
Twenty years ago I met a boy who became my first crush. He had dirty blond hair that fell over his eyes when he shook his head and a crooked smile that I swear shot a lightning bolt straight through my chest and melted my little girl heart. He was tall and gangly and two years older than me, but in my mind, I was his at first sight.
He had moved in next door to us and became fast friends with my brother Marcus. And despite me being the ‘annoying little sister’ I couldn’t stay away. It was like there was a magnet pulling me to him and I never wanted that to change.
As we got older, things changed. My crush deepened into full-blown, unrequited love, and I was resigned to living my life with Aiden Lawrence never seeing me like that. Then one Summer after my senior year, Aiden came home from college and things… changed.
It was the start of our twelve-year dance of off and on, should we or shouldn't we. It was wonderful and torturous. It was pain and love and heartache and joy all wrapped up in a big co-dependent bow.
I joined the police force and Aiden went to the FBI Academy, and something happened there to change him. Instead of talking about the future, he shut himself off from anything other than work, including me. Then we were off in a way that it would stay off. That doesn't mean I ever gave up hope.
We were cordial, we were friendly. We sent Christmas cards and 'how are you doing?' emails. We saw each other when we were all back home for the holidays and milestone events like Marcus's wedding to my sister-in-law, Vicky, and Aiden's dad's funeral when he succumbed to cancer five years ago.
We drifted apart after that, the contact becoming more and more infrequent. The only updates I would get about him came from Marcus, my parents, and Aiden’s mom, who still lives in the same house next door to my parents to this day.
That’s until last year when he reached out about a case I was working on. Little did any of us know, it was the start of a chain of events that would lead to not only the demise of Aiden's illustrious career as a police detective and almost mine, but the obliteration of whatever final tether there was tying us together. No past feelings or shared memories could survive him disregarding me and offering me up as a scapegoat to save his own ass. A man with any conscience at all would never do that to a woman he cared about… to me…
Thankfully, I cleared my name and was free to try and move on with my life. Career wise—I’m soaring. Personally—I’m stuck in the same spot I was a year ago. But seeing him again has completely shaken the foundations of my carefully constructed wall I've built around myself.
Standing in his apartment, I couldn’t control the range of emotions coursing through me—anger, betrayal, hurt, confusion... fear. It was like all the feelings I'd ever had for him came rushing back. I was torn between wanting to scream at him, or maybe shake some sense into him, then fighting against the aching need to touch him or kiss him or at least try and see if there is anything left of the man I thought I knew. The man he used to be. The man I loved.
He looks different now. Older, more rugged, his dirty blond hair shorter and more styled. He has a slight beard that makes him look even more aggravatingly handsome. He’s not the same man though. He’s transformed into someone--something--I don't know. He's like a stranger to me when I used to know him better than anyone. I have to believe that underneath that exterior is the same Aiden I've known for most of my life. The one who had broken my heart irrevocably twelve months ago. The one I desperately wish hadn’t done it so that things could be different between us.
When I get to my car, I pull up my phone and send a text message.
Marlee - I need to see you
And despite the time, I get the reply I'm waiting for immediately.
With instructions of where to meet, I start the engine and hit the road.
