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My hands shook as I spoke, and Faith’s eyes darted around the room as if searching for an escape. It came to me then that only by sharing my deepest doubts would she be able to open up to me. “I get it. You don’t want to settle down.” I murmured. “You’ve jumped from one guy to the next without ever getting close. And that scares me—what if I’m not enough? What if I make a mistake and you just leave, same as all the others? Promise me something when you feel that urge?”
She nodded, eyes burning through me. My arms ached to embrace her. I wanted to keep her safe forever, hold her tight and never let go.
“Remember, I’ll wait here for you. No matter how long it takes you to return.” My gaze fixed on her like a hawk tracking its prey.
I couldn’t help the possessive itch that crept up my spine. It was a subtle shift, imperceptible to anyone else, but I felt it keenly every time she was around.
My jaw tensed, and I fought the compulsion to grab her and pin her over my knees, assert my dominance, and take what belonged to me—her love.
Instead, I settled for a quiet admonition. “Even if it means I have to hunt you down and bring you home myself.”
Deep breathing helped to unclench my fists, which were ready to take on any challenge to the sanctity of my family.
Little did I know how completely clueless I was about the trials we’d face ahead...
CHAPTER13
FAITH
The same week Riley taught me a lesson about negative self talk, his thunderous voice, like distant rumbling, shattered my trance. “Did you even hear what I just said?” He FaceTimed me at least once a day and texted me in-between to see if I needed anything.
He stopped mid-sentence, and I popped out of my foggy trance to see his quizzical expression on the screen. A wave of embarrassment swept over me as I realized he had been speaking to me the entire time.
Weird thing was, it didn’t faze him when my mind wandered. I couldn’t recall a single instance when I really got on his nerves.
Which kind of annoyed me if you wanted to know the truth.
“Sorry. What did you say?” I asked.
“When’s your OB-GYN appointment? I’m coming with you,” he growled, low and gravelly, sending shivers down my spine.
Like clockwork, Riley triggered a tug-of-war inside me, optimism about a bright future on one side and reckless desire on the other. I wanted to grip my hand around the base of his dick, lower my head and show him what a good little cock worshipper I could be.
Sex I was great at.
Penises were very straightforward.
Relationships?
My emotions reacted faster than my brain, so I usually didn’t even get time to decide how I wanted to act.
My impulsivity drove me to disastrous relationships again and again. I finally figured it was better to pass on the whole ‘happily ever after’ thing—that it was a myth as elusive as the Loch Ness monster. Allowing my heart to lead? Recipe for disaster.
A crash-and-burn affair wasn’t a mistake I could afford to make with my baby daddy.
Especially since, each time he spoke, his voice rough and velvety, my inner conflict surged. These reactions were more than just obsessing about his bulge.
It was a skirmish in my mind, me versus my fantasies of Riley telling me I’d be his forever.
Shit. He was always honing in on subjects I wanted to avoid. How did he do that?
I fidgeted my butt on the mattress, and smoothed my sloth’s fur, trying to come up with an excuse.
“Faith. What is it? Tell Daddy,” he snapped with a feral edge, eyes glittering with predatory hunger. I knew what was coming next—he was about to sex me up, or give me a talking to.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea for me to keep calling you Daddy, and for you to give me presents and stuff when we’re not even a couple? Do those things really count as platonic?” I bided my time, looking around at the walls, plastered with a wallpaper featuring a vibrant botanical print. The shiny black faux-leather headboard was trimmed with decorative upholstery tacks, capped by rhinestone embellishments that looked like diamonds.
In one corner, there was an antique vanity table littered with colorful makeup and wild hair products. My closet doors were open to reveal my collection of custom-made overalls and coveralls for work on the farm—each pair hand embellished by yours truly with everything from blooming fields of wildflowers, to playful dragons soaring in a stormy sky, to prancing unicorns frolicking across meadows.
