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“If we’re going to protect her adequately, I need to know the threat.”
He’d finally brought it up. She should be prepared.
He continued, “I need you to tell me who sent you the snake, Rox.”
Oh, boy. She liked him saying her name like that. So much it could get a little intoxicating hearing it. She gave herself a second, then said, “You didn’t call around and ask about me today?”
“I want to hear what’s important from you.”
Because he didn’t like what he’d heard, and he still trusted her enough to tell him the truth. But could she? Could she say that name out loud? She’d held it in for so long, as if speaking it aloud would conjure him. But he wasn’t an evil spirit. Just a man.
Still, to have Liam look at her the way everyone else from the Marines had?
She couldn’t handle that.
He spoke again, and she braced herself, but he said, “Like why you finished Search and Rescue dog handler training, but you aren’t a dog handler for Search and Rescue? Unless you’re on call. But I don’t see a dog.”
She was already nodding before he had even finished, a slow acknowledgment. “I was doing great.” She sucked in a breath through her nose. “The dog I was working with was great, nothing wrong with him, but we didn’t bond like I thought we should. We never would’ve been in sync in that instinctive way I thought we should.”
“So it’s about a dog?”
Yes, it was. Her heart squeezed in her chest. “Seeing Maverick get hurt. Watching Mitchell and Tessa panic because River was hurt as well, and they couldn’t help both.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “It reminded me too much of—” Her voice broke.
She heard him get up, then felt the depression of the cushion as he sat beside her. Then his soft voice said, “Harley?”
She’d told him years ago.
Roxie sucked in a shuddering breath. “I couldn’t go through that again. I thought I was fine. It never even occurred to me that putting a dog in danger would end up making me flash back to Harley.”
“We’re supposed to be cut up from our time overseas.”
“And yet I’m far more traumatized because my high school boyfriend got mad and ended up hitting my dog with his truck as he drove away in a huff.” She pulled in more air. “The worst part is that I didn’t even think about it.”
“Getting blindsided is the worst.”
“Happened in Vanguard training. We were clearing rooms, and I got boxed in. They used flash bangs, and the ringing in my ears, plus the smell.” She glanced over. “I froze.”
“Happens to the best of us.”
As if it had ever happened to him. “I’m not supposed to be a mess. I’m supposed to be strong—body and mind. Not ready to fall apart at any second.”
SIXTEEN
Liam stared at her. Clearly she didn’t see him in the same light—as someone ready to fall apart at any second—which just proved how well he’d managed to hide things.
Listening to her, watching the look in her eyes—the fear and the pain so close to the surface—made him want to pull her close. Enough so that he’d moved to sit by her. Now he kept his hands to himself and didn’t tug her against him, despite what seemed like an ever-present ache to do so. But no. He couldn’t open his heart again like this.
Ongoing consensus from the military was that she’d lost it somehow. But how was that fair? She hadn’t had a breakdown. This was real fear for a good reason. The haunted look in her eyes was evidence enough. But he needed to stick to the facts, not the gut-level attraction that drew him close to her.
Or the way she’d let him lean on her when he found out his father had died.
He wasn’t ever going to forget that memory, and with her here, it was far too tempting to add similar memories to that one.
They needed to talk, or he was going to get lost in his head.
“One day, you’re going to fall in love with a dog again.” He’d wanted to get one himself, but his work schedule made that difficult. And yet, his need for companionship might just win out. “I know you will.”
“What if I don’t want to because I’m too scared?” She picked at the blanket. “If something happens, I’ll be destroyed all over again. That’s why I bailed on dog handling. Because I’m not strong enough.”
