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I truly am a sucker for punishment; perhaps this is my atonement after taking so many lives when I was human.
I look down at Amara’s lifeless body and turn my back on it, walking and not even feeling lighter after my supposed revenge. Instead, I feel emptier than before, somehow even more lost.
Gabriel is sitting in the living room and staring into the fireplace, deep in thought. I walk over to him and sit on the couch opposite him. “Is it done?” he asks without looking my way.
“Yeah, and somehow I feel emptier,” I admit, leaning backward. “It wasn’t as fulfilling as I thought it would be.”
“Revenge seldom is,” he sighs, then turns his head towards me. “I think I’m going to keep the DA thing going since I’m still King. The others have all told me that I’m the supposed leader now too, so there’s extra fucking responsibilities for us now.”
“Speaking of which, Amara’s daughter should still be locked up at Castle Blutholz. What are we going to do about that? Return her to the Fae King?”
He nods. “That would be wise, I reckon. She’ll be with her own kind and the King will be sure to look after her. They have programs for orphan Fae children, too, so I think she’ll be well taken care of.”
This puts my heart at ease, knowing that she’ll be in a safe space. At least there will be no more Amara, but I’m sure she’ll have questions as to why her mother sold her for selfish reasons.
It will be the least of my worries now. Perhaps I can move on without feeling like I’m to blame for the loss of her mother. Perhaps moving on involves a certain doctor who saved my life.
“You gonna tell me why you’re frowning like that?” Gabriel’s voice jarred me out of my thoughts and I notice he was looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “I haven’t seen that look since the day before you last spoke to Giselle.”
I blink at his words and guilt somehow creeps into my heart at the mention of the Fated whom I failed. “Ah, it’s nothing—”
“Bullshit. Does this have to do with Amara? Are you feeling guilty for killing her?”
“Fuck no,” I say in disgust, then I lean forward and sigh. “It has to do with this doctor that saved my life.”
He raises his eyebrow at this, and the corner of his mouth lifts in amusement. “Oh? The red-haired Asa woman?”
“Asa woman?”
He nods. “The Asa are doctors of both humans and supernatural creatures. What’s got you thinking about her?”
I think about my answer, not knowing how to tell him I haven’t stopped thinking about her since I left her clinic. How her sweet, flowery scent still plays havoc on my senses and invades my thoughts even as I try to focus on something else.
But I don’t need to say anything because Gabriel sees the look on my face and his eyes widen.
“She must have made a big impression on you,” he says incredulously, shaking his head. “But I must warn you before you even think about anything, she’s married to another man of Asa blood.”
I can literally feel my hope deflating when he says this, realizing that I have once again become addicted to the scent of a married woman.
Once again, I am drawn to a woman who can’t be mine, but this time I won’t make the fatal mistake of allowing her to crawl into my heart.
Not after what I did to Giselle, not after I allowed her to be killed.
“Thank you for telling me before I got sucked into that whirlpool again, Gabe. I don’t think I can survive another go,” I say, getting to my feet. Gabriel simply sighs, then turns his head and continues staring into the flames of the fireplace.
I take my leave and walk upstairs, trying to push the fact that this is affecting me from my mind. Hmm, I wonder if this is my curse for killing so many people before - walking an eternal life without someone at my side.
Ah, Goddess Nyx must deem me unworthy and who am I to go up against a Goddess?
* * *
“You found Kat?”
Gabriel grins and nods his head. “She’s hiding out at the Vegas estate; Reaper saw her when he went back to check on the place.”
I chuckle and cross my arms. It’s been about two weeks since Kat disappeared and Gabriel has kept a level head all this time. But now that we know where she is, at least he can rest easy. Fuck, we can all rest easy.
“This is the best fucking news I’ve heard in weeks! Have you decided what to do next?”
