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A pang of sadness renders me nearly breathless and I lay back on the pillows with my arm slung over my eyes. What I want and what I need are two conflicting emotions in my heart right now and I know that whatever is between Gabriel and I can never progress further.
I have to cut the tie soon before I become immersed in everything that is Gabriel Priest and I lose myself even more.
KATHERINE
Xenia is sleeping in a hidden compartment in the walk-in closet. She took some Advil and passed out hours ago, but I can’t seem to fall asleep at all. I’m way too wired after everything that’s happened and I don’t think I’ll ever have a proper night’s rest again.
After she passed out, I unlocked the door because I didn’t want them to suspect anything and I’ve been laying here ever since.
It’s nearly dawn when I hear Gabriel’s Harley accompanied by another one, and my heart immediately picks up its pace. I turn on my side and will my heart to calm its incessant beating while trying to drift off to sleep; it helps for a bit, but only until I hear my bedroom door opening.
I don’t even have to open my eyes to know it’s him and when he approaches the bed, I’m surprised that my heart doesn’t give in. There’s the faint smell of whiskey on him, but not his usual expensive whiskey scent, more like he’s downed an entire bottle of it. Or five.
He runs his fingers up my arm and breathes out a long sigh.
“What is it about you that captivates me, little lamb?” he whispers, then caresses my cheek and it sends a jolt of pleasure through me. “Why am I so enamored with you?”
I melt at his words but remain quiet in case I ruin the moment and never get a chance to see this side of him again. It’s taking everything in me not to smile because of what he’s said and give away that I’ve been awake this whole time.
But I nearly jump out of my skin when he leans down and places a gentle kiss on my temple, then sighs again.
“You’ve bewitched me, and I do not know how to break this spell. But if tonight has proven anything, it’s that I need to create some distance from you…” he says in a low voice filled with an unknown emotion. “So, for once, I’m going to stop being a selfish bastard and let you go.”
With one last kiss on my cheek, he walks out of my bedroom and takes my heart with him.
Let me go. Do I... want him to let me go? I couldn’t fall asleep after that and by the time Valentine brings me breakfast, I feel like death warmed up.
“Christ, Kitty Kat, did you get any sleep at all?” he asks when he brings my tray over and I shake my head.
“I haven’t crashed from all the adrenaline yet,” I chuckle sadly and sit up in bed. He watches me with a worried expression and I can’t help but smile. “I’ll take a nap during the day; speaking of which, shouldn’t you be sleeping as well?”
“After you’ve eaten,” he says and is about to walk out when I stop him. He turns around to look at me with a raised eyebrow and gestures for me to continue.
“I wanted to know… if there’s any way to break this Fated Bond,” I ask, watching as silent horror fills his eyes.
“You and Gabe?” I nod. “I know of a way, but it’ll take me a few weeks to gather what I need. Are you prepared to wait?”
A few weeks more of feeling like my heart is breaking; sure, why not?
“Gabriel said that he would give me some space, so a few weeks should be fine. What is it? A spell?”
“It’s an infusion of three obscure, taboo ingredients, hence the waiting time,” he says. I don’t even want to know what he means by taboo, so I simply nod and drink my coffee.
Valentine sighs and sits next to me on the bed. He takes my hand in his and that uncomfortable chill runs up my spine; funny how I never felt that with Gabriel, not even from the first time he touched me.
He levels me with a look of concern. “Severing this Bond is considered a desecration of the Goddess’ will and will have serious repercussions on not only you but Gabriel as well.”
I say nothing to this. What can I say, anyway? This is just how it’s going to be and if it turns out to be the worst mistake I’ve ever made, then so be it. Valentine senses my apprehension and continues.
“Are you sure you want to do this? Once this bond is severed, you can never go back. What you feel for Gabe and what he feels for you will literally evaporate, and you’ll go back to hating each other.” He stops, then shakes his head. “Not only that, but you will never truly be happy again, are you sure this is what you want?”
I let his words swirl around in my mind and sink deep into my heart. Am I ready to go back to hating Gabriel Priest? Am I ready for us to hunt each other down until the other dies?
Am I ready to live a life of loneliness again, knowing that I could have had it all with someone I’m too terrified to love?
I nod. “I’m sure.” The lie tasted bitter on my tongue, but I needed to say it. Valentine’s lips are a thin line and with a dip of his head, he leaves my bedroom and I follow him to lock it from the inside.
Leaning my forehead against the door, I feel incredibly weak and vulnerable for the first time in my life. I’ve always been the headstrong one, the brave one, the one my father trained to lead his legacy after his death.
