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Christ. I need my head checked.
“Another,” I ask, waving my tumbler to the bartender and watching her pour me a stiff mixture. Well, I can ignore them and pass out - that should work.
“You should have taken that potion, you know,” I stiffen up when Valentine sidles up to me and orders a glass of bourbon, no ice. “Things would be so much easier for you.”
I scoff. “You really want your friend to be miserable without a Fated, don’t you? Is it because you no longer have one?” The words fly out of my mouth and I blame it on the alcohol.
He chuckles, takes a sip of his glass, and shakes his head. “No, smartass. That vial contained Church’s blood; if you took it like you were supposed to, it would have spared you the pain of yearning for him.”
I nearly drop the glass in my hand and my head snaps at him. “What the fuck?”
“You heard me,” he smirks.
“Why the fuck would you do something like that?! Shady bastard!” I look at him incredulously, shaking my head. “That was a dangerous fucking thing to do!”
“I knew you wouldn’t take it, but if you did, then it would have given you what you truly wanted. Or am I wrong?”
I scoff. “Church is Priest’s attack dog. The things he’s done, and the way he leaves bodies mangled, remind me of a starving pit bull sent after a litter of kittens. He’s a monster, Valentine, and that’s putting it lightly.”
He sighs, then turns his gaze to me. “Listen, I’ve been with Church since the beginning; he’s a little rough on the surface but his past is partly to blame for the reason he does what he does. Don’t judge him for what he’s done to humans when humans turned their backs on him when he was still one of them.” He says, downing his glass and putting it down, gesturing for another.
“He shouldn’t even have a Fated yet, but the Goddess decided to bless him with one regardless of the timeframe.”
I frown. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Church is only 180 years old; we only meet our Fated after 200 years of being a vampire, and yet you and Church were blessed like this.” He says, looking me in the eye. “Don’t insult my Goddess by refusing the gift she’s given you and don’t insult my brother by rejecting him.”
“A lot of don’ts to give to someone who hates authority,” I grumble, finishing my glass and fidgeting in my seat.
Then I turn around and immediately spot Church in a corner booth with a woman on his lap. “Besides, does it look like he wants me?” I ask, and a sharp pain shoots through my heart.
Valentine downs his alcohol then turns and braces his elbows on the bar counter. “He’s doing it to get a rise out of you. Seriously, you two should just fuck and get it over with.”
I laugh and look down to see my glass refilled. “I don’t want him,” I say, then downing the drink completely and getting to my feet. “Church can get fucked.”
My vision blurs and I’m unsteady on my feet, but I amble towards the bathroom and lean against the sink. I splash my face with cold water, but it doesn’t stop the flushed feeling in my face or the dull ache in my chest.
Unshed tears cloud my vision instead of the drunken feeling and, to my fucking horror, I find myself crying. I promised not to cry over this, promised that I would stay strong and not long for a man I didn’t want.
But Church is not a man, is he?
“Get a fucking grip, Xenia,” I breathe out, looking down at the white bathroom sink and watching my tears fall. “He’s not worth it. Nothing is worth this pain.”
Breathing out a final sigh, I splash my face again and do my business in the toilet before walking out to pay my tab. I won’t go to the apartment tonight since Kat wants some privacy, so I’ll walk to the motel I spotted while driving here.
There’s no way I’m going to stay here and watch Church pick up women knowing how it would make me feel.
That’s just being fucking spiteful.
“Where are you off to?” Valentine asks when he sees me paying and pocketing my keys.
“Motel up the road. I’m too tired for all this, sorry,” I say, before turning my back on him and walking out.
The chilly night air hits me like a brick and I feel myself waking up from under the sway of the alcohol. Good, I was worried that I might be drunk walking and stumbling everywhere, but at least now I’ll feel level-headed.
It’s better than getting drunk and watching Church throat fucking some random. It’s better than admitting what I feel for him and being taken for a fool.
“Leaving so soon, Hellcat?” Church’s rough, smokey voice stops me dead and my heartbeat picks up.
