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I don’t know what to say to this. I don't know how to comfort her fears, but she continues anyway and doesn’t give me a chance to.
“After everything my father put me through, all the training and drilling me to be tough, I don’t remember my mother at all. I don’t remember her love or if she cared for me. The last memory I have of her, the last time I saw her alive, we had a fight, and I told her I hated her.” She chuckles sadly and shakes her head.
“All that because she forbade me to go to a party that Xenia and I snuck out to, anyway. When I came back and wanted to apologize, I found my father cradling her dead body.”
I pull her tightly into my arms when she tells me this, knowing that whatever I say won’t make a difference. Well, not right now, anyway.
I was raised in a loving family and never knew that mothers have these fears for their children, never thought about something as terrifying as not feeling any love or connection to them.
“We have all the time in the world to instill our qualities in them, little lamb; all the time in the world to mold them into beings filled with love,” I say, rubbing her back as she continues to cry for what could be.
“As for us as parents, I don’t think you get something as a perfect parent, but you get those who try, and that’s all we can do. Let's not doubt our abilities when we haven’t given ourselves time to learn and improve them.”
She nods and does a little sniffle before kissing my neck lightly. “I’m glad the Goddess chose me to be yours,” she says, knocking the wind out of me with those words.
We don’t speak after this. She simply falls asleep in my arms just as the sunlight peeks through the windows. Luckily, the windows on this jet are made with the same material as the windows back in Las Vegas, so we can still bask in its warmth without being harmed.
I watch her sleep and wonder if her fears of being a terrible parent are the reason she’s been this quiet.
To be honest, we haven’t exactly prepared ourselves for this and don’t truly know each other that well, even though she has seen my past life through drinking from me and I have seen hers.
But I want to learn more; I want to know my Fated better and learn her fears and dreams, want her to tell me about them herself, and want her to do the same. However, we’re still new at this, new at everything and, as I said, we have all the time in the world to still do that.
With that notion, I place her down on the seat next to me and drift off to sleep - but the peaceful sleep does not last.
I don’t know how long we’ve been asleep for, but it must be time for us to awaken soon. I blink, wondering what exactly woke me up when I hear a whimper coming from Katherine and my gaze immediately falls on her.
She’s lying in a fetal position, her legs pulled up tightly against her chest and dried tears on her cheeks. I frown and get down on my knees in front of her, has she been crying in her sleep?
“Wake up, little lamb—”
“Don’t… touch me,” she whimpers when I reach out to shake her awake and she literally cringes away from my touch. “Please…”
A sick feeling coils deep in my stomach and I swallow it down before trying to wake her again.
“You’re having a bad dream, my love. Katherine, wake up –”
Her eyes shoot open and she moves away from me, holding her knees against her chest while fear creeps into her eyes. Her heart hammers against her chest and a bead of sweat forms on her brow; then she blinks, taking in her surroundings.
“Gabriel?” her voice comes out as a trembling whisper, and that puts the proverbial nail in the coffin for me.
Something is not right, and Katherine is refusing to speak to me about it.
“I’m right here, little lamb,” I assure her before taking her hand in mine and looking deep into her eyes. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
She shakes her head and attempts to smile. “Nothing is wrong… I just… it was just a bad dream!”
I sigh and cup her cheek with my hand. “Do you know your heartbeat picks up when you lie to me? Not only that, but you play with your fingers, similar to what you’re doing now.”
She tries to shake her head again but stops when I raise my eyebrow at her. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Breathing out, she nods, then looks towards the window. “How long until we land?”
I find it strange that she’s asking me this, but I go and check with the pilot, anyway. “We’ll be landing in about an hour, but we’ll have to stay here until nightfall,” Jetlag is a bitch for a vampire.
She nods when I sit down next to her and take her hands in mine, then she takes a deep breath and glances up at me.
“Please don’t be mad at me for not telling you sooner. I knew that if I told you, that you’d do something to get yourself killed, and then I’d be stuck there… with him…” she trails off and visibly shudders.
