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John’s face went devoid of emotion. “Sure.”
“It’s nothing bad.” She took his hand. “I’ve been visualizing scenarios for our first time, and I’d rather not lay out my plan in a public restaurant.”
“Oh.” John’s cautious demeanor gave way to a huge smile. “Let’s go then.”
Butterflies swarmed in her stomach.
He gripped her hand as they made their way along the path that led to a fountain.
“I’m thinking what would work best is your house.” Then, if things did not go well, she wouldn’t be reminded whenever she was in that spot. She waited for two women pushing baby strollers to pass them on the walk. “The scenario I’m most comfortable with for starters involves oral sex.”
“Okay. And how will I know when you’re ready for me to go down on you?” His voice dropped to a sexy timbre.
Her entire body heated at the way his smile did not waver an iota at her suggestion of something Adam never would do to, or for, her. She fanned her face. “I’ll bring an overnight bag, and we’ll go from there.”
“Pack enough for two days in case you decide to stay more than one night. Are all our dates going to be at my house going forward?”
“I’m not sure how long it’s going to be until I’m ready,” she warned. “I’ve got another EMDR session with Charis tomorrow. You could bring Boss over for dinner at my place on Thursday.”
“I don’t get to see you tomorrow?” He pouted in an adorable fashion for someone who was six-foot-five.
“I’m afraid not. I promised Mayala I’d help her with more job applications. I spoke to Cindy, the attorney who represented Ariana, and she thinks there’s a good chance she can get enough compensation from the family Mayala was working for to get her a decent used car and some savings for a place of her own.”
“That’d be great. She earned it. It’s good to see everyone moving forward. You ready for dinner or do you have more dirty talk for me? You weren’t very detailed in your instructions.”
She elbowed him in the ribs.
He laughed.
“I may need to signal you to do more or less of something. Or to slow down so I feel safe, but I think you probably have a good idea of what to do.”
“Trust me, I do. And darlin’, I’m going to rock your world.” He sang softly and in tune, “I will, I will rock you.”
“I have one more request. As endearing as your singing is, not while we’re . . .”
“Ever?” His voice squeaked.
“I’m not saying ever. Just not the first time. Or dozen.”
“I guess that’s not a deal breaker.”
She loved how unfazed he was by her insecurities, how he neutralized their power over her and made her laugh. More than ever, she wanted to get to the point where they had a shot at a future together.
* * *
Boss servedas the welcoming committee for Elizabeth’s arrival. She took a deep breath and a moment to collect her thoughts and pray this past week’s dates with John and her last EMDR therapy were enough.
Shopping with John last Sunday served as a good transition after her panic attack the night before. Being in his house together, organizing his kitchen that night, had been safe and comfortable. Them, doing life together.
Then there’d been dinner on Tuesday after she’d laid out her plan. She’d expected him to drop innuendos throughout dinner. Instead, he suggested getting an electric bike or moped for Mayala to provide transportation and open up more job possibilities. Last night, he’d casually inquired if her therapy had gone well. He’d been on his best behavior for dinner.
Tonight would be different. Hopefully.
She got a treat for Boss and her bag out of the back seat.
“Hi.” John stared at the bag in her hand. He swallowed. “I see you brought a, um …”
“A treat for Boss.” Boss nosed the bag in her hand. “It’s an elk antler.”
