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“It’s just that this baby, this fetus, is fourteen weeks old.”
“It can’t be,” I said in confusion.
“What do you mean, Doctor?” asked Rafael.
Then realization hit me. I felt the blood drain from my face.
I turned to Rafael and saw the exact moment it hit him as well, his eyes registering shock and anger.
The doctor carried on hurriedly. “Sometimes couples anticipate marriage, or the baby comes a bit earlier than expected.”
The doctor looked worried for me. I knew she would be wondering if we had indeed anticipated marriage and Rafael was the father, or whether I had slept with someone else without his knowledge.
“But how is that even possible? I had my period a few weeks after our wedding…” My voice drifted off in utter confusion.
“What was the bleeding like, Jessica? Was it as heavy as a normal period?” asked the doctor.
“My periods have always been irregular and on the light side. That period was particularly light, but I thought that was due to the stress I’d been under before our wedding—stress always seems to affect my cycle.”
“The bleeding you had last month is what we call spotting,” responded Dr. Chiara. “Between fifteen and twenty-five percent of women spot during their early pregnancy, due to factors such as the implantation of the egg or the changes in the cervix. It’s nothing to worry about usually, however it is not a period. So that’s why you experienced some light bleeding last month, even though you were already pregnant.”
Oh God, this couldn’t really be happening.“But I did a pregnancy test last month and it said I wasn’t pregnant…”
“Did you do the test as soon as you woke in the morning?”
“No, but that shouldn’t matter, surely?” I asked in desperation.
“If you don’t test first thing in the morning, it can be harder for the test to detect the HCG hormone, thus giving a negative result when you are, in fact, pregnant.” The doctor’s tone was sympathetic, yet her words could provide no comfort.
“Doctor, leave us.” Rafael’s voice was ice cold.
“I’m not sure that’s wise,” responded the doctor, her eyes darting to Rafael’s clenched fists. His whole body was wound up with tension and he looked ready to explode.
“It’s okay, doctor. Rafael and I have no secrets.” I put my shaky hand on top of Rafael’s. “You can leave us, and we’ll talk.”
Rafael had also noticed the doctor’s reluctance to leave me alone with my husband. “Don’t worry. She’s my wife and she’s safe with me. It’s too late to protect her now.” The doctor was confused by his words. However, she quietly left the room after switching off the monitor.
“Oh my God.” As I looked up at Rafael, I couldn’t help the horror creeping into my voice. “It’s Emanuel’s baby.” I whispered before breaking down into helpless, gulping sobs.
Rafael took me in his arms and held me tightly, stroking my hair and murmuring comforting words into my hair.
“I never thought…I didn’t know.” I sobbed into his chest.
“It’s not your fault, Jess.”
“It is. I should have thought to get the morning-after pill.”
“You would have been in shock and not thinking about the pregnancy risk or anything like that. You’re not to blame for any of this.”
“What do we do now?” I gasped. “I don’t know if I can have this baby…but I don’t know if I can terminate the pregnancy either.”
CHAPTER 26
JESSICA
That evening, in front of the fireplace in the den, we talked about the options of having the baby or not.
Once the options were laid out, Rafael turned to me. “I’ll support you in whatever you decide.”
