AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Then I look down at Alexi, casually dressed in sweats and a hoodie. He looks exhausted. And for the first time, he looks scared. I know he’s afraid for me, but seeing him like this, appearing defeated after everything we’ve all been through, makes me almost protective of him. If I could crawl into his lap right now just to wipe the sadness from his face, I would. But I can’t and honestly, I’m not sure if I’m ready to do that. So instead, I give him what I can.
“I’m sorry,” I say, and he glances back at me with fear still prominent in his eyes.
“I know you don’t want this, me,” he says gesturing to himself, and it takes me a second to realize why he said that. I wasn’t saying sorry because I didn’t want them. I was saying sorry for scaring him, for refusing to let him touch me, and freaking the fuck out.
“Alexi, shut up for a second okay?” I start, letting go of Lev's hand and reaching out for his. He threads his fingers through mine as Damien chuckles. His brows pinch, but I don’t give him the time to keep talking because I need him to understand.
“I’m sorry I freaked out, I’m sorry I scared you, and I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m still trying to come to terms with reality right now and the withdrawal isn’t helping, but I’m sorry I hurt you.”
He lets out a breath as he leans his head into my lap and wraps his arms around my waist. I pull him to me, needing him to know that I want him to touch me. That, after everything, I trust him not to hurt me. We’ve been through too much.
“I never thought you would be the one saying sorry to me. If anything I should be here on my knees apologizing to you.”
“I think after everything, maybe we should just start fresh. No baggage, no hurt. Let’s just start here. With this,” I offer as I tilt his head up to mine and brush my lips over his.
When I release him, he sighs back into me. “I don’t want this moment to end,” he says, his voice muffled by the way he’s got his face firmly pressed to my chest, “but my father would like to talk to you. He just wants to explain.” I stiffen, but Lev continues for him.
“Just hear him out. He might not be my favorite person, but I believe he wasn’t trying to hurt you. And if he was, then I’ll kill him. You have your blades, and if he makes a move to hurt you, use them. And if you can't, I will. Easy as that. But let's try to at least clear the air so we can come up with a plan.”
I look at Lev in shock, not used to my gentle bad boy wanting to kill someone for me. And my traitorous pussy gets wet at the thought of him slitting Boris’ throat while I sit back and watch.
Fuck, I need to get myself together. Looking out at the horizon, I try to recenter my thoughts because even I know I’m too injured still to crawl in his lap and ride that pierced dick like I want to.
The sun is starting to peek out over the water, and I don’t want another day filled with grief and pain. I want to start moving forward. I want to find out who I am while I’m surrounded by people I love and trust. And if they trust Boris, then I’m going to have to try.
“I’ll hear him out.” As I relent, I swear every ounce of tension in Alexi’s body deflates. He sits up and presses a kiss to my cheek, more gentle with me than he’s ever been.
“Thank you, Princess.” He takes my uninjured hand in his and gives it a soft squeeze as he gets to his feet. I squeeze back, letting him know I trust him. He leaves behind me, and I take a deep breath. I feel better today and after having the fresh air and a moment out of that stuffy room, my head feels like it’s finally clearing up.
“The outdoors always helped me,” Damien says quietly. “When it all felt like too much, there’s just something about looking at the sky.”
I nod in agreement loving how open and sweet he’s being. I love seeing this gentle side of him, but I also love when he looks like he’s about to murder someone. And here I go again, getting turned on. Thankfully a moment later, Boris steps out and it snaps me out of this apparent sex daze I’m unable to escape from. I make a mental note to ask Damien if withdrawal can make you horny as hell because if not, then something has to be wrong with me.
Boris walks around slowly and pulls up a chair, keeping a respectful distance. My eyes don’t leave his and for a moment, it almost feels like he’s challenging me. But then he drops them to sit and I let myself relax a little more.
Alexi stands behind my wheelchair and places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Explain,” is all he says.
“Right,” Boris says, sitting forward and adjusting his suit. I never wondered where Alexi got the suit thing from, but now it’s clear as day that his father cares about physical appearance more than rest based on the bags under his eyes. He clears his throat and begins. “When your parents were killed, I immediately went looking for you. One reason was out of selfishness, but the other was because I felt protective of you. I was there for each of your birthdays, including the very first moment you took a breath. I was the first person aside from your parents to hold you and even though we weren't around much because of distance, you felt like a niece to me. I saw your father every other week and he would update me on everything you were doing and learning. I would compare where you and Alexi were in life, and I loved it. Honestly, I felt so much closer to Damir when we were talking about you.”
He leans forward with a heavy sigh. “But we also had a contract and if anything were to happen to them, then you were to be mine. Not just because I loved you like family and vowed to protect you with every resource I have, but because you were the original investment piece in their bargaining for the money for their casinos.”
I soak that in. I knew they had sold me before I was born as an investment, but Boris relieves the ache of that thought by diving deeper.
“They didn’t sell you to me as property,” he says carefully. “They promised you to me for Alexi, so you two would marry.”
Alexi’s hand tightens on my shoulder, and I wince in pain, causing him to release me instantly. I reach back and put his hand back to make sure he knows he didn’t hurt me, his father's words did. It’s not fun to have other people plan out your life for you as if it were their own.
I lean forward in my chair, meeting his gaze. “My parents might have made a deal with you, but it’s up to me who I marry. What’s the other reason you wanted me back? The selfish reason?”
If he thinks I missed that part of his story, he’s dead ass wrong. I’m basically keeping notes in my head to review later so I can decide if I trust him or not.
“The company is still in their name, your name. I wanted to help it grow and continue on as a legacy to Damir, but without you or your permission or me having guardianship over you, it’s fallen to others' hands. That’s a big reason I used so many resources to try to find you.”
“So you want me to come with you so I’ll give you my parent's money?” I say with a laugh devoid of humor, as if that statement is going to get me to trust him. It does the exact opposite.
“No,” he says, startling me slightly with the harshness of his tone. I sit back and Lev sits forward, almost like he’s preparing to put himself between us. “I want to help you. I want to teach you about it and the plans your father had for his empire. I’m not the gutless monster you have grown to think of me as so I would appreciate it if you stopped assuming and let me speak.”
His tone holds a note of hostility in it, and I’m not a fan. “You know, Boris, I don’t really give a shit what you would ‘appreciate’,” I say putting finger quotes in the air. “I’m only hearing you out because these three men seem to trust you, but I don’t. There isn’t a fiber of my being that wants to be within a hundred miles of you, and your son wants me to come back to Russia so he can protect me.”
