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Even without the sound, I felt her enter the room. There’s a charge in the air that only I can feel.
She’s staring at me, asking a question, but all I see is her full pink lips moving open and closed. Her words aren’t reaching my ears. The sound is drowned out in a tunnel as I zero in on those lips, imagining all the places they could go.
“Hello, Luca.” The way she says my name in irritation finally breaks my trance. “Do you have any water in there?”
Hannah’s laugh comes from the living room with Holt. That’s why Kandi is here now. She’s always here.
“Hello? Can you hear me in that thick skull of yours or have you had too many concussions?” I don’t answer. My trance is over, but my brain isn’t connecting with my mouth. “Fine, I'll just take care of it myself.” She reaches for the door handle.
“That’s what she said.” I mutter before she can get too close.
“So, you can hear me.” She perks up as she comes to the fridge door I’m holding open to get my drink.
At this point, I’m sober. We don’t have a game for the next two days, and this will be my first drink. So, why am I not functioning like a real person?
It’s her presence, and all the fucked-up shit in my head.
“Can you grab me some water?”
The fridge was filled with water bottles and sitting right next to them is my six-pack. I reach in and grab the entire six-pack of beer and one water. I don’t hand it to her. Instead, I take both, close the door, and walk past her outstretched hand.
“What the fuck is your problem?” She snaps, but I don’t even turn around.
“Can’t hand water to something not there. You’re invisible,” I mumble and grunt before heading to my room.
I barely remember anything else. Drinking alone, and masturbating to the image of Kandi’s soft pink lips around my hard cock, come to mind.
I wake up in class as everyone stands to leave. Alex nudges me to move.
“Dude, you were drooling in there. I was waiting for you to start snoring to wake you up.” Alex and I walk towards the quad so I can get some water.
I need caffeine, but the drinks in the quad are full of sugar. That’s the worst thing to have for my ADHD, and I need to focus on the rest of my classes.
“We can sleep in later tomorrow, if you need to. Or I can just run first, then get you,” Alex suggests.
“No. I need the distraction.” Running is good for keeping my mind off Kandi. “I’ll just go to sleep earlier tonight.”
He nods, agreeing with me. We went to bed early last night so I shouldn’t be this tired. It’s everything on my mind making me mentally exhausted and drained.
“Want to talk about what’s going on with Kandi?” He bumps my arm with a fist when I snap a look at him. “I’m not an idiot. The whole thing with the sorority girls coming in blindfolded. At first I thought it could be Penny, but then the note on the flowers this morning, and the way you look at her. There’s something deeper going on there.” Alex shrugs. “Sometimes it helps to talk about it.”
“She fucking hates me,” I say after a beat, realizing what a fucking asshole I am. I ignored her and called her invisible. I treated her like shit.
“Yeah, I know.”
Thanks for the help, Alex. If I knew he’d just agree with me, I’d keep it to myself.
“You were a dick to her.” He scoffs.
“Not helping!” Wow, tell me something I don’t know.
“What do you expect? You’d make nasty comments or completely ignore her,” he says as if it was obvious and I was the only one that couldn’t see it. “I know it won’t help you now, but by looking at the past, we can figure out a plan. I figured you had a thing for her, but I’m thinking it goes a little deeper than a small crush, huh?”
“You’re smart, but now I feel like I’m in grade school picking on a girl, because I have a crush on her. Is that what you’re saying I did?” Yeah, that’s what he’s saying. Aren’t I so mature?
Kandi has always felt more mature to me. Like she was a real woman, and I was a boy flailing around at the sight of her. She’s a senior and I’m a junior, but it’s more than that. She has that vibe that she’s been through more shit than I can comprehend. Being the immature asshole that I am isn’t going to win her over.
I’ve been so blinded by how I was acting. It’s no wonder she can’t stand me.
