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The party died down, but the music is still going and other students are milling about, drinking and dancing.
“Looking good, Luca.” A girl whistles at him as he passes, and I glare in their direction.
Luca ignores it, following me out the door in nothing but his boxer shorts and beach sandals.
“What are you doing? It’s freezing out!” I stop at the bottom of his porch.
“I’m walking you home.” He looks at me like I’m the crazy one.
“You don’t have to walk me home. Go back inside.” I continue walking down the path that leads to the sidewalk, trying to wave him off.
Luca follows right alongside me.
“Can you at least put a coat on?” I roll my eyes at him. “You’ve never walked me home before.”
“Well, you’ve never left my house at almost two in the morning.”
He’s right about that. Most nights we’re at my place. And even then, we don’t go this late.
Our breaths make clouds in front of our faces in the cold air as we walk.
“You’re fucking nuts.”
“I'm used to the cold.” He shrugs. “I’ve skated on the ice in less than this.” He motions to his attire.
“I'm not surprised.” I shake my head. “If you get sick, it’s not my fault.”
“It is,” he says with a smirk. “You could’ve slept over.”
“Don’t start that again,” I groan and roll my eyes at him.
“Come on, Kandace.” He stops me once we get to the end of my block. “Why can’t you admit you have feelings for me?”
“Feelings?” I utter in disbelief. How did we get from sleeping over to feelings? “I’ll admit, we have good chemistry in bed and even after the shit you’ve said to me, I can see you’re sorry.” I shrug. “I’m giving you a pass, because you’ve made up for that stuff in the past couple of weeks.”
He bites his lip and holds my hand against his beautifully sculpted chest.
“But that doesn’t equal the feelings you’re thinking of.”
His jaw tightens as I speak.
“Do you think you’re the first guy to tell me he’s falling for me?”
Luca takes a deep breath, but he doesn’t answer my question.
“You’re not the first guy to ask me to sleep over or ask to talk about feelings.” I tell him the harsh truth. “You won’t be the last, but it changes nothing. If you want out of our agreement, just say it.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Sleep on it.” I pat his chest. “You’re the first guy I’m giving a chance to change his mind. As soon as someone starts falling, I’m out.”
“Why?” Luca asks, still with the same hard look on his face. It’s a rare look for him. He’s the fun guy. The guy you go to when all you want is a good time. Which is exactly the only thing I want. “Why don’t you let me or anyone in?”
I shrug. “Love just isn’t for me. I have school to focus on and I won’t be here in less than a year. Why get attached?”
I absentmindedly play with the divots on his chest and abdomen to hide the half truth I’m giving him. I don’t even want to admit the truth to myself, but I’m aware of the demons that lie beneath the surface.
“You need to focus on hockey, and who knows where you’ll end up. Isn’t it the same?”
