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Luca’s eyebrows are drawn together in a deep thought when I look back up at him.
I love the color of his eyes. They pull me in and make me think of possibilities that aren’t practicable. I love them and fear them all at the same time. But the way he’s looking at me now frightens me to want to run away. He sees me, but he can’t possibly see everything.
“We can talk in a few days. Hannah is home, and I won’t be available this weekend.” I move away from him. “Take the time and think about what you want. Then let me know, but that’s all I can give you.”
I walk the short distance to my door, feeling Luca’s eyes on me the entire way.
I don’t want to hurt him. Willa confronted me about it last week. She told me he really cares about me and this whole arrangement we have is unfair to him. What she doesn’t get is we’re both adults.
I’m not giving him any false promises. I’m being straightforward and if he can’t handle it, he’d tell me. She has her own relationship to worry about. I’d rather die alone, then have that kind of relationship with a disrespectful prick.
The puck is in Luca’s zone.
We talk and we’re not at all hiding anything from each other. We’re adults and he’s fully capable of making the decision that’s right for him.
Chapter 27
Luca
I have no idea what to do.
I’m trying so hard to get through to her and last night I thought we had a breakthrough. I thought she was finally going to let me in. But it goes deeper than anything I’ve ever done to her.
I’ve apologized repeatedly for the things I said when my mind was fucked up. I thought that was the only reason, but I was wrong.
Kandi doesn’t let any man in.
She won’t even give a guy a chance to get close to her. There has to be a reason for that.
Do I just give up? Call it quits and come to an understanding that we’ll never be together?
Or does she just need time? I can do that. I can give her space and time to grow and figure herself out. I’ll be here waiting. Not here exactly. My time is limited, but wherever I am, I can wait for her. I can’t imagine being with another woman after her. None of them appeal to me anymore.
All I want is Kandi. My Kandace. We’re made for each other, but she’s not there yet.
After training, I get a call from Holt. Holt Bramby, a Drexton Hall Huskies alumnus. He graduated last year, but still checks in on me every chance he gets. Usually it’s with a simple text.
“Have something you want to tell me?” He grunts through the phone, not even giving me a chance to say hello.
“Nothing has happened since the last time I texted you.” I grunt back at him, but it didn’t nearly have the same effect Holt does with his tone.
He has that dad tone down. And he’s only been a father for a few months. He’s always had that alpha boss tone to his voice, but it’s gotten even more dad-like.
“Is it a rumor, or are you still deciding?” He’s not saying it, but I know exactly what he’s asking.
This is my last year at Drexton Hall, possibly my last semester.
I don’t want to leave my team in the middle of the year, but I already signed a deal with San Jose and I may have to start sooner rather than later. It all depends on how good they’re doing. If they have a shot at the playoffs or not. So far, it’s looking like a go. I haven’t told anyone yet. Not even my own family. The only people that know are Coach Renan and the management staff for the San Jose Quakes.
I had the option to stay and graduate after I got drafted, but declined it. If there’s no shot of them making it or they don’t need me, I’ll stay here for the remainder of my junior year. It’s not a secret, I’m not good at school. Instead, I asked for at least one more semester.
It’s my one last shot to get her to be mine. At least, that’s how I thought about it, until I realized how much she really hated me and it became my shot to make amends. Now, I’m running out of time and it’s become my last-ditch effort to get her to let me into her heart.
“Still deciding,” I lie to him.
I don’t want him to try to convince me to stay and get my degree. I’m a shit student. The only reason I stayed for this semester after the draft is because I knew Kandace would be here.
“You’re full of shit.” Holt calls me out.
