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I smile at her and when she makes eye contact with me, I know I’ve gotten her attention.
“When I was little I also had a nanny,” I begin. I watch her blue eyes round. “Some of them were just a bunch of meanies. My brothers and I would do all kinds of pranks.” Then I cover my mouth and whisper. “Your daddy hurt himself, but he wants you to go to school so you can grow up and be smart. You’re a pretty girl but you can’t get by in life solely on your looks.”
This causes her to laugh and it’s soft and sweet.
“Is it okay if I walk you to the bus?” I ask in a soft tone.
She suddenly nods and passes me her hand.
“Thanks, I’m Ellie by the way,” I greet.
“She doesn’t talk to people she doesn’t know,” her dad says. I hadn’t noticed him come after us. He’s watching me carefully. “This is Sydney. I call her Syd for short and that’s Mr. Bear,” he tilts his chin at the teddy bear in his daughter’s arms.
“Nice to meet you Syd and Mr. Bear,” I say.
Syd looks up to me and smiles.
“If you tell me where the bus is I can take her,” I say to the dad.
“You really don’t have to,” he says.
“No, I didn’t realize you had a better option,” I reply.
He huffs. “Right at the corner there.” He points with his finger. “We got about two minutes before it comes.”
“She’ll need her coat and bag,” the temp nanny says passing it to me. I take it from her.
“Thanks.”
“I’m leaving,” she says looking back at Connor.
“No please don’t leave. I need help and. . .” he begs but she walks right out the front door of the building and doesn’t look back.
“Let me get Syd to the bus,” I say to Connor who nods.
As we walk I ask her some questions.
“Do you like school?”
She shrugs.
“Who is your favorite teacher?”
My response is a shrug.
When the bus arrives I ask Syd if I can get a hug goodbye. “I know we don’t really know each other all that well but I used to get on the school bus with my nanny and I always wished I had someone there to give me a hug,” I say. It’s such an odd thing for me to say to a child. Maybe it’s my clusterfuck of a morning or the fact that watching this little girl in her element is reminding me of my own childhood.
She nods and then she wraps her little arms around my waist tightly.
“Wow, now that feels nice. I really needed this hug,” I say to her and it isn’t a lie. I’ve been living like a gypsy and failing at life. This hug is good. It’s grounding. “Have a good day Syd.” She lets me go. I pass her the backpack and coat. She smiles at me and waves.
“Now that’s a first,” the bus driver says.
I wave back and I wait for the bus to drive off.
When I get back inside Patty seems to be arguing with the dad.
“She doesn’t look suitable,” he says to Patty.
