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“About the wedding. . .” Someone has to bring it up. Only I can’t look in his eyes since it hurts too much, so I turn away.
He guides my gaze back to his with his finger on the tip of my chin. “Ellie, we’re still getting married. Nana is making a wedding and we’re going to do this for her.”
I swallow hard. Those are not the words I wanted to hear.
“We can get the marriage annulled after and she wouldn’t even know,” he adds.
I nod and I fight back tears.
I reach over and hug him. “You’re a good man, Connor. I appreciate you giving Nana her last wish.”
I release him and I get up and walk away because this is too painful. Being close to him, breathing in his scent is too much.
I head straight for my bedroom. Exhaustion overtakes me as I lie in bed and cry. My time with Connor and Syd is coming to an end. I will need to stay here as long as Nana is around, but we don’t have a lot of time left and that depresses me too. When it rains it sure pours, only this time there is no sunshine or rainbow on the other side. I fall into deep sleep, appreciating the reprieve.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE
The guys arein town and have a couple of days off until the Stanley Cup Finals start. Ellie has been avoiding me like the plague since she got back from Canada. I’ve been beating myself up. I told her I would still marry her and then I told her we could get the wedding annulled, but it’s the last thing I want. I’m a coward, who has a hard time expressing my feelings to anyone who isn’t my daughter, and the only reason I can express my feelings to Syd is because I know what we have is unconditional love.
Now I’m sitting in Brett’s apartment with Kaleb, Wolfe, Brad, Aaron, and Matt. The guys want me to have a bachelor party tonight, and I have no interest at all. The only thing I feel like doing is spewing my feelings about Ellie, but I can’t exactly do that when the guys think I am marrying her for love.
“I’m hungry,” Brett announces.
“You’re always hungry,” Kaleb chuckles.
“We need to order in some grub,” Matt says.
“You guys better eat clean. You gotta be in top shape for playing Seattle,” I remind them.
“We’ve been eating clean for weeks now. Even I need some junk,” Wolfe declares.
“If Cap needs junk, we are all eating junk,” Aaron says. He is the main goaltender on the team now. He was originally brought in as my backup but the lucky bastard has really pulled through for the team, and now has the main goaltender spot. Even though I am guaranteed a spot on the team this year, it doesn’t mean I will be the main goaltender.
“Then it’s settled. Let’s go to Arty’s, we can get a large smoked meat sandwich,” Wolfe says.
“Now you’re talking,” Brett chimes. The guys stand and we head out. We all live in the building except for Wolfe so our cars are parked in the garage. We head downstairs to the garage.
I get in Wolfe’s SUV with Kaleb and Brett. The rest of the guys ride with Matt.
We head out onto the street with me in the front seat and Kaleb and Brett in the back.
“Looking forward to getting married?” Wolfe asks. He has an easy smile. He met his wife in college and adores the ground she walks on.
I side glance at Wolfe, feeling like I can’t hold in what I am feeling anymore. If anyone is going to give me good advice it will be him, so here goes nothing. “Ellie and I were getting married because my ex, Sybil, threatened custody of Syd. Ellie and I came to an arrangement because Ellie’s grandma is dying and wants to see her married before she goes. But then Ellie went and fixed the problem with Sybil, who has now dropped the lawsuit. I told Ellie I would still marry her because Nana is dying, but I also told her we could get the marriage annulled after because I am a stupid coward, who is madly in love with her.” Exhale. Oh fuck! “Did I just say that out loud?”
I cover my face, leaning forward in the seat. I’m having some sort of panic attack.
“What the fuck?” Brett hisses. “I knew you couldn’t get married that fast.” I turn around to give him the stink eye to see that he hits Kaleb’s shoulder. “I fucking told you something was up.”
“Not helping,” Wolfe chimes. “Just relax, Donaldson,” Wolfe says, always being the voice of reason.
“Relax? I can’t fucking relax.” My breaths are quick, my chest is tight. “I’ve screwed everything up, and Ellie isn’t talking to me.”
“Okay, deep breath,” Wolfe advise, and I do as he says but it doesn’t ease the tension in my chest. “Do you love her?” he asks, looking at me when we reach a red light.
“I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s so kind and beautiful. She’s so giving and caring,” I go on.
“Shit, he has it bad,” Brett mutters.
