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“The girl is so sweet and adorable. She’s got auburn hair, just like mine, and her mom isn’t in the picture. Her dad is raising her on his own,” I explain.
Nana listens. “Is he a nice guy? Is he married?”
“Is he a nice guy?” I repeat, tapping my chin while averting Nana’s wise gaze. “He. . .is very sweet to his daughter. He’s a hockey player and he was recently injured. He’s bedridden.”
“That sounds tough, your nonno, may he rest in peace, loved hockey. I never understood why, but it’s the reason he bought the New Jersey Rockets,” Nana explains. “Your nonno had a group of guys he played hockey with once a week until he was well into his fifties. He’d come home injured some nights, but he loved playing. It always made me laugh because what do we know about hockey in Italy?”
I blink. Whenever Nana talks about my nonno it makes my heart twist. They were a special couple. Partners in the true sense of the word. They worked together and built an empire.
“Connor, that’s the dad’s name, he’s a goalie,” I explain.
“So, he must have to travel a lot.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “But he’s injured now.”
“That’s too bad,” Nana sighs. “How did you find the job?”
“Patty recommended me. You know she’s working for the Rangers now as their assistant physical therapist. She’s living in the same building as Connor. It feels good to kind of have a place to call home, even though the job isn’t permanent yet. I need to prove myself.”
“I don’t doubt you will. I’ve got faith in you, even though I wish you’d call this place home,” Nana says. It’s her encouragement I channel when things are going tough.If Nana believes in me then she must be right,I tell myself and I pull myself out of whatever dark hole my mind takes me to. It’s something I’ve been doing since I was a kid.
“Thanks, Nana, but you know I need to do things on my own,” I reply.
“I get it, but I don’t have to like it.” She smiles.
“Syd, that’s the little girl’s name I’m caring for, it’s been tough on her. I can tell. It’s been her and her dad on their own for a while. I can see they are close. He literally let his little girl work with a designer to decorate their apartment. There is a lot of pink,” I laugh.
Nana smiles too. “That sounds interesting.”
“He’s grumpy,” I admit. “I think he’ll come around when he sees how good I am with his daughter. He’s paying me well. I have my own room. It’s so perfect. The apartment is super nice and . . .” I don’t even know.
“You seem happy, excited. I’m happy for you,” she says, and she takes a sip of her tea. I notice the shake in her hands and my stomach dips.
“Thanks, Nana, I hope it works out. I really like the little girl.”
“And your painting?” she inquires. “It was the reason you wanted to venture out on your own.” I can’t blame Nana for thinking that is the case because that is the story I’ve been selling to my friends and her since I parted ways with my family.
“I have quite a few hours to myself during the day. I haven’t spoken to Connor about it because I just literally got hired yesterday. I’m hoping to have time to paint during the day. Then maybe I can go around to some galleries to show my new work.”
“So you’ve got a plan.” Nana nods.
“You could say that.” I twist my lips.
“I’m not going to be around forever,” Nana reminds, blowing out a breath. “I would have liked to have been here to watch my grandchildren walk down the aisle. Your brothers are eternal bachelors but you, my dear Ellie, I would’ve loved to see you walking down the aisle. I want you to have a partner to love and share this life with.”
Her lip quivers. Nana is so badass, but there is something fragile about her today. It makes me realize we don’t have forever.
“Did you have any news about your health?” I inquire, feeling panicked.
“Same story. I’m an old lady. Cells don’t multiply as fast in old people. Just sitting here day in and day out makes me realize I don’t have all the time in the world. You know I’ve been keeping a close eye on the hockey team management. It was important to Nonno and I know you aren’t much of a hockey fan, but I was thinking. . . I’d like to leave the team to you. I know it isn’t art, but I also know you’ll keep it going for Nonno’s memory.”
“Of course, Nana. Whatever I can do,” I reply quickly as tears sting my eyes.
“Don’t cry, sweet girl. This is the cycle of life. I don’t want you crying over me.”
Her words don’t help as tears pour down my cheeks. She has always been my person. I’m going to miss our deep talks. I’m going to miss her love. She wants to see me walk down the aisle. Surely, I should be able to do that but even if I start dating now, we have such a short timeline. But how do I disappoint the one woman who has been a steady source of love and affection in my life?
You don’t, Ellie.
