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"Doesn't she still have a thing for Will?"
"Hell no, girl, that was a freshman crush, that did not last beyond the night we went to the fair. Riley is not an issue here." She takes a deep breath, then says, "Look, Kris, if there is a legitimate reason for your issues with Will, then you need to work it out with him, but if you are only using his antics from high school against him, then that's not fair. None of us are who we were in high school now. People change, and people grow. If you are interested in the man he is now, and by the look of your face, I think you are, then you need to decide if you are ready to let go and give love a chance."
"Love? Who said anything about love?" I scoff.
"That's for you to decide, and only you can do that," she tells me with a sweet smile that is Leia, and not really addressing my question. "You should go talk to him," she tells me.
I take a deep breath because I know she is right. "Okay, you are right," I tell her.
CHAPTER9
WILL
Iwatch as Krista leaves down the driveway. I'm not sure what happened, one minute, I was swinging her in the air, and the next, I couldn't help but kiss those lips I have been dreaming about for over a month.
I didn't expect her to run like that. We had been spending so much time together this last month, I thought things had gotten better between us, and we were actually friends now, and maybe that's the problem, I crossed a line I shouldn't have.
I rub my hands down my face, wondering how bad I fucked up, this time.
I go into the house, sitting on the couch, I remember the feel of her body in my hands, her soft lips against mine, and the taste of her tongue. I can still feel her hands in my hair as she pulled a little and the way she rubbed her body on mine. I know she wants me as much as I want her, but something is holding her back, and I'm not sure what.
I sit here lost in my thoughts, not sure how much time passes as I sit here, but then I hear her voice.
"Will, I think we should talk."
I look over in the direction of her voice and take in her tear-streaked face. Tears that I caused, and my heart aches with regret.
"What did I do?" I ask in a small voice that doesn't sound like me.
She takes a deep breath, comes into the living room, and sits in the chair across from me.
"Do you remember the summer before you started high school?"
I shake my head because I really don't.
"I didn't think you would. You had asked me to meet you in the backyard, you had something you wanted to show me. I was so excited because I had the biggest crush on you. My mom wanted me to go with her to her friend's house, but I didn't want to miss out on what it was that you wanted to show me, so I told my mom I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay home. She begged me to go with her, but I threw a fit, and she let me stay home."
She takes a deep breath, and I can see the tears welling up in her eyes. I'm trying to rack my brain on what she is talking about.
"After mom left, I went to the backyard to meet you at the time you said. Your firepit was going, and you held up s'more fixings. We sat there roasting marshmallows and making smores, watching the lightning bugs, talking, and laughing. You pointed out that I had chocolate on the corner of my mouth, and instead of wiping it off with your finger, you kissed me."
The memory clicks into place, and I feel like an ass, because I remember what happened next.
"I was over the moon about the kiss, but then you said, 'Sorry kid, I shouldn't have done that. You're too young.' You grab all the s'more fixings and then went inside your house. I was devastated, but the worst part came later that night when the cops knocked on our door to tell us my mom had been in a car accident, and she was gone."
I watch as the tears flow down her face, not able to say anything.
"I blamed you. If I hadn't stayed home to be with you, I would have been with my mom, and maybe she wouldn't have died. Then I watched how you played with all the girl's feelings when I got to high school, and it set me off. Especially, when you asked Riley to meet you at the fair, but you turned up with Jessica Miller. I watched her face, and it reminded me of what you did to me, though you didn't kiss her."
"Fuck," I say, rubbing my face. "I never meant to hurt anyone, especially not you. I thought walking away from you that night was the best thing for you. You were sweet and innocent, and I knew I was no good for you. I was a rebellious kid who was always looking to get into trouble, but with you I always felt like you saw the best in me and not the troublemaker. I thought I was protecting you. I'm sorry," I whisper out.
"As for Riley, I did want to go to the fair with her, but when I got there, she wasn't there yet, and Jessica showed up, clinging to my arm, giving everyone a show, I just went along with it. Now it all makes sense why you started so many rumors about me and did the things you did. I'm so sorry Krista, I hope one day you can forgive me, but I never set out to hurt you."
"I realize now, as I tell you these things out loud, I've been holding on to a kid's version of pain, and I guess I've allowed it to consume me where you are concerned, so allow me to apologize. I need to stop blaming you for my mom's death. It was a car accident, and if I was with her, I could have easily been killed as well. I know that now, but a part of me has hated you for many years, considered you my enemy. Spending this last month with you, I've started to see the man you have become, and not the boy I remember you to be."
"Krista, I'm not the same cocky kid I was, and if I could go back, I don't know that I would change anything. I can only tell you I'm sorry for the part I played in your pain and ask that you forgive me."
She nods, "I do, but I thought I should come back and explain to you why I left."
