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“I’m fine. Just pull over.”
He did as I said, bringing the car to a stop on the side of the road. And when he put it in park. I threw myself into his arms, holding him as tightly as I could. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
His body shook, and he inhaled a jagged breath. His grip on me tightened, and he hauled me over the console and onto his lap.
I don’t know how long we sat there on the side of the road. It could have been a few minutes. It could have been an hour.
With Laurent, time simply didn’t exist.
Once we got to my place, Phoebe showered while I cooked. After we ate, she was exhausted and went to bed, which was probably for the best. My emotions were all over the fucking place, and I didn’t have the brain capacity for much.
By midnight, I went to bed and waited. I knew it was only a matter of time before the door creaked open and Phoebe came in.
I didn’t have to wait long. Not even ten minutes after having that thought, light filtered in from the hallway, and Phoebe stepped inside.
She climbed into my bed. Her silky skin rubbed against mine. Her daisy scent filled my senses. It was almost too much. She slipped her hand across my abs, and I inhaled, biting back every desire racing through my body.
I rested my hand on hers, halting her track. “I need you too much right now, and my dick is telling me to take you, but my heart… It can’t take another blow.”
“Tell your heart I understand.” She shifted, kicking her legs off the bed.
I snaked my hand around her waist, pulling her into me and resting my head into her lap. “Please talk to me. I almost lost you today, and it was the single scariest moment of my damn life. I don’t want to go through that again.”
She ran her fingers through my hair, and I closed my eyes, relishing in her sweet touch.
“Don’t you get it. If you’re with me, that might become your life. I might get cancer and die young like my mom. That’s not fair to you.”
I knew this was her biggest fear, and maybe it was mine, too, but how did I get her to understand that without her, life wasn’t worth it? “I’d rather have you for whatever amount of time we have than not have you at all. We’ve already lost twenty years. How much more time are we going to waste?”
“I’m scared.”
“Then let’s be scared together.”
She blinked down at me with those beautiful green-blue eyes. “You’re scared, too?”
I took her hand in mine, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Of course I am. Life is scary. But if today proves anything, it’s that you could have been taken from me without some incurable disease. Life is messy and unpredictable, but it can be beautiful and full of happiness if you don’t dwell on all that scary stuff.
“Stay with me tonight and be here when I wake up. Stay with me the next night and the next. If you don’t know what I’m saying… I want forever with you, Phoebs. However long forever is. You and me. It’s all that matters. It’s all that’s ever mattered.”
She captured my mouth, thrusting her tongue against mine. I groaned at the intrusion, wondering if I’d ever get sick of tasting her. I kissed her back slowly and patient, giving her everything I had but without the frenzied craziness as I had so many times before.
This time was different. This time, I wanted to take my time. To not race toward a finish line, but to be in the moment, to cherish this beautiful woman beneath me, and savor every second we had together. If today had taught me anything, it was that life was precious and fleeting.
We had no idea what the future held. No idea if her fears were based in an inevitable fact or just ruthless demons that were trying to rid her of our happiness. Whatever it was, I didn’t care. As long as Phoebe was mine, we’d figure it out.
I trailed my tongue down her neck and sucked on the sensitive skin at her crook. She arched into me, her nipples rubbing against my chest. I positioned my cock at her entrance and pushed in. Phoebe cried out, pulling me to her. Our mouths came together, bodies moving as one.
I almost lost her today, but I didn’t. She was still here. Still beneath me. And as we both chased our release, I knew without a doubt, that this beautiful, complicated woman was mine, and I would do everything in my power to prove to her I wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was she.
My eyes opened, sunlight streaming in through my window. I turned toward Phoebe, but came up empty. “Fuck me!” I screamed, launching my pillow across the room.
Phoebe appeared in the doorway, naked and more beautiful than ever. My racing heart slowed, but my blood pumped fast, dick coming to attention.
“If you insist,” she said with a smile.
“I thought you left,” I said.
“Just went to get some water.”
