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“Are you calling Zoe?” Valen asks, walking out and stopping next to me. He falls on the couch beside me.
“You didn’t have to take all the blame,” I tell him.
“He’ll find out eventually anyway.”
“You’re right; I could have found other ways to tell you.”
“Well, I know now,” he says with a sigh before getting up.
“I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in unless you are sneaking off; I can distract him until you return in the morning?”
“I told him I would stay. I’ll stay on the couch,” I tell him. He goes to say something, but I cut him off.
“Your apartment, Valen. I’ll sleep on the couch,” I tell him, and he presses his lips together, eventually nodding and walking off.
He returns with some clothes and a towel before pointing me in the direction of the bathroom. Everything in his bathroom is ridiculously clean and white. Undressing, I step in and turn the shower dials. Seriously, who has dials?
Water sprays out like a damn tsunami, blasting me in the face, and I place my hands up, shielding my eyes. So much for not wetting my hair.
I turn the other dial only to find water spraying out from the freaking wall, making me shriek when my ass is suddenly pelted with a force that water shouldn’t come out at, plus it’s freezing cold. I try to shut it off when music starts blaring from somewhere. What the fuck! The bathroom has suddenly turned into a rave! Here I am, being waterboarded while my ass is filled with water.
Is this karma? Did I break a mirror or something? I try covering my ears against the horrid radio blasting from Goddess knows where while trying to shield my eyes and spin the dials in a desperate attempt to shut it off.
“Everly?”
“How do you turn it off!” I scream.
“The blue dial.”
“I can’t see a blue fucking dial! Your dial is broken!” I shriek at him when another jet of water suddenly comes from the roof—the fucking roof! I shield my head and my ass, forgetting the ears; I’ll go deaf, but my ass can’t take anymore. I feel like I’m in a car wash, not a damn shower!
Suddenly, the water cuts off, and I hear laughing. Scrubbing my hands down my face, I blink, my eyeballs aching.
“Off,” Valen says, pointing to one dial. “On. And that one is pressure,” he says, pointing to the third dial, his voice shaking with laughter.
“You couldn’t have a normal-functioning shower?” I snap, choking on water.
“Maybe yours are just dated?”
“My ass feels like it just got blasted to the damn moon! Who in their right mind wants an ass-blaster in the shower?”
Valen chuckles, looking down. I suddenly realized that while I was drowning and choking on water, I was also very much naked. A shriek leaves my lips as I shove past him to grab a towel to cover up. Wet tiles and my coordination do not mix well, apparently, and I collide with him, taking both of us out. Valen tries to grab me, but it’s not good.
He wheezes as I go tits-and-ass up before landing on the floor on top of him. I can’t help but feel like this is some sort of setup, and I’m being punked—surely this can’t get any more awkward?
I am so wrong.
I realize I’m looking at his feet, which means I’m on top of him with my ass on his face! How? Just how?
“Your ass really did get blasted,” Valen chuckles.
Please, Moon Goddess, strike me down and put me out of my misery! I scramble off; there is no ladylike way I could have avoided him seeing me. Now he’s had an internal view! Not even my Gyno got that close and personal with my nether regions.
“Good to know that you wax,” Valen adds. His commentary is not necessary. If only he had seen it two weeks ago—it looked like the Amazon Jungle with my winter fur coat. I was foul when I got that call saying I was three years past my last pap smear. Thank Goddess, I was, or he would have been coughing up a hairball.
I snatch the towel off the basin, covering myself and trying to keep some dignity, even though I’m pretty sure most of it went down the drain, along with my speaking ability. I clear my throat.
“Do you want me to fix the shower?”
