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Marcus comes back, shaking his head. “CCTV shows she left this morning with a bag and her son.”
“Might have gone home?” I suggest, and he shrugs. Walking to his car, he opens the back door before pulling out a baby carrier. I help him by placing it beside her car before rummaging around for a pen and paper.
“Leave a note with your number. You think she would contact you?” I ask him, and he nods, finding an old envelope, scrawling his number on it, and putting some money in it to use a payphone if she hasn’t got a phone. He places the note inside the baby seat and I look around at the clouds. It looks like the rain is going to come back.
“It will get wet. Give the note and car seat to security to give to her,” I tell him, and Marcus nods, walking off toward the train station with the carrier in his arms. Not much we can do when she isn’t here, and I need to go crawl back in bed or get my stomach pumped; either would do if it means getting rid of this sick feeling in my guts and this pounding headache.
ChapterTen
Everly
We settle in the room, and I wash Valarian down with a wet cloth—it's a little too cold today for me to give him a bath right now. Once he's settled and napping, I take the longest, hottest shower in ages, trying to wash the memories of last night away.
I found my mate, saw him, and he didn't recognize me. But worse still was knowing he was with another woman. The agony that it caused as I ran home was heartbreaking as well as painful. When Marcus took me there, I hoped that he would recognize our son and we could get the help we needed, that maybe everything could be fixed, especially once I realized he was my mate. It allowed me to hope for the first time in ages, and I caught a glimmer of it only for it to be taken away. Now I'm failing my son once again; that much I do know.
I can't help but feel that way; Valarian will never have a father; I will never again have mine. How I long to go home, where I was the loved and cherished Alpha's daughter. Instead, I am now ashamed and scum, forbidden to speak to my sister in my father's eyes. Not even my mother will fight for her grandchild or me. I know she is hurting, but I could never choose anyone over my son, so how could she choose Dad over me?
My life has fallen apart; I didn't think it could get much worse than all that, but then it ripped out what was left of my heart. I thought my luck was changing when he stepped into the bathroom. Every piece of me was screaming for him. I truly realized how powerful a mate bond is for the first time. Nothing thrilled me more; well, until I saw the look on his face.
The way he yelled at me and ordered me off his territory will stain my memory forever. Then to have my father toss me outside in the rain afterward, forcing me to watch my son being looked after through a damn window, out of reach because I no longer deserve human decency from my own family… it's just too much to process.
I thought I could do this. I thought I was stronger than this. But everyone breaks eventually. Everyone has a breaking point, and I have reached mine. Every damn thing weighing me down suddenly becomes too much and I break. At least no one can see how fucked I really am while I cry in the shower. It washes out the pain I feel until it brings me to my knees.
It is suddenly and startlingly clear how alone I truly am.
Loneliness is deafening and cold—no one to tell you it will be alright, no one to help you pick up the pieces, no conversation. I've lost my sense of self. I'm no one now; just a mom, just another rogue whore for everyone to look down on, even though I am not—he is my mate. But he couldn't even recognize me. I realize how small and insignificant I am to everyone except my baby boy.
Hearing a knock on the door, my head jerks up from where it's pressed to my knees. I get up quickly, shutting the water off and grabbing a towel.
“Everly dear, open the door for me.”
“Sorry, just a sec,” I call back, checking Valarian before tugging a shirt over the towel to try to appear presentable.
I open the door to find Valarie standing there with a tray in her hands and two plates on it.
“Thought I would come to join you in here. The time must have slipped you by,” Valarie says. I quickly take it from her, and she steps inside, walking to the small table.
“Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize how much time passed,” I tell her, glancing at the old analog clock on the wall. Was I really in the shower that long?
“It's fine, dear. I could hear you were upset, so I thought I would come and be an ear to listen,” she says, and my brows bunch at her words. She points behind me to the bathroom.
“That vent there is directly above my kitchen. It echoes through the pipes. I keep meaning to get someone in to fix it, but no one wants to help a rogue whore,” she says with a sad smile. My face heats, and I touch my cheeks.
“I'm sorry. I didn't realize; I hope I didn't disturb you,” I tell her. She waves me off.
“You forget I have been where you are. I would have put you in another room, but this is the nicest one left and is functional. The place is falling apart,” she says. Valarian starts fussing, and I move to get up but Valarie beats me to it.
“Go get your pajamas on; I'll watch him. Isn't that right, sugar? Yes, I love me some baby cuddles,” she says, smiling brightly down at him as she scoops him up into her arms.
“Go on, get dressed, and then we can talk,” she says, and I nod, quickly digging through my bag and grabbing some clothes out before rushing to the bathroom. I dress quickly and come back out with my hair wrapped in my towel.
“He is such a sweet boy,” Valarie babbles to him. He eventually drifts off, and she places him back in bed.
“So, what made you upset? Why the tears?”
“It's nothing. Everything just got to be too much,” I tell her as we unwrap our dinner from the aluminum foil.
We tuck into the food and I tell Valarie everything, bleeding my heart and soul out to her, the pressure lifting off my chest. I didn't realize how talking to someone who listened could feel so relieving.
