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My back melts into the contours of his chest as my head fits comfortably against his broad shoulder. He gathers the blankets around us and then brings his arms under the blankets to conceal me in his warmth.
I could be so content staying exactly like this forever.
Nathan doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t push me. He just waits. And after a few minutes of silence, I decide it’s time.
“Nathan,before I tell you… everything, there is something I should have said to you a long time ago.” My heart begins to beat rapidly, but there’s no turning back now, and even if I could, I don’t want to. “I’ve felt this way for a while, probably longer than I care to admit. And for so long, I was scared at the thought of saying these words out loud, not knowing how you would feel, so I kept them locked up. But I’m not … I’m not scared anymore.” I realize I’m rambling, so I turn my body a little so that I can look into his eyes before saying, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I—”
“I love you, Natalie.”
I’m stunned into momentary silence as relief begins sweeping over me. “You do?”
“I do.” He brushes my hair back behind my ear. “I’m sorry to cut you off, but there was no way I was letting you say it first.” His hand lightly caresses my cheek. “From the moment I wrapped my arms around you wearing that shirt covered in ice cream, I knew you were the girl for me.”
“You’ve liked me since then?” I ask, surprised by his truth since this moment happened years ago.
“No.” He shakes his head adamantly before continuing. “I’velovedyou since then.”
Just when I thought I had hit my limit on the number of tears I could cry in one night, they slowly but surely begin to stream down my cheeks.
“I love your beautiful smile. I love the shade of pink your cheeks turn when you blush. I love how you look when you’re absorbed in one of your smutty books.” I open my mouth to protest, but he stops me. “Don’t even try to deny it. You may have everyone else fooled with those discreet covers, but I’ve seen what’s inside your books, you dirty girl, and it just makes me love you more.” My cheeks flush as I bite my bottom lip because he’s absolutely right. “I love how close you are to your family and how you would do anything for them. I love getting lost in your gorgeous grey eyes. I love that I can tell you anything without judgment. I love the way you feel in my arms, just like this. I love when we kiss because every time we do, it makes me feel like everything is right in this messed up world. I love absolutely every damn thing about you, Natalie.”
I’m speechless.
If there is only one thing I am sure of right now, it is that this man has always been and will always be the love of my life.
“I love you, Nathan. And even though I was pissed at you for getting your ice cream all over me those many years ago, I secretly loved every second of it.” The most heart-stopping smile appears on Nathan’s face, only causing the happy tears in my eyes to spill out even quicker.
Our lips meet with a whole new desire in them. Nathan brings his hands up to both sides of my face, bracing me to him as we show each other the meaning of these three words we have professed out loud to each other for the first time.
Nathan slowly pulls away, breathless, pressing his forehead to mine. “The day I moved to this town, my whole world was upside down, and I thought I would never know what it felt like to be happy again. But hearing you say that you love me, well, I don’t know how it’s possible for me to be any happier than I am right now.”
My heart.
I bury my head into his chest, clinging to him, never wanting this moment to end but knowing it needs to.
Nervously, I look up at him, and his face slowly drops in understanding.
“As much as I don’t want to ruin this moment, a moment that I am going to think about over and over again, I need to tell you what happened last year. I can’t put this off any longer.”
Nathan brings his arm around my waist. “Ok, beautiful. I’m here.”
You can do this, Natalie.
I take a couple of deep breaths, but it feels like it’s not possible for me to get enough oxygen into my lungs as the nerves take over. Nathan lightly squeezes my hand in encouragement, and that’s all it takes for the words to start pouring out of my mouth.
“Last year, Vanessa told me about a Halloween party she and Brian were planning on having at their parents’ house while they were out of town. And when I found out it was also a birthday party for you … well, I hadn’t seen you since that night on the beach, so I showed up at their house wearing a little black dress and devil horns, showing more skin than usual, hoping you’d notice me.” I shake my head, feeling embarrassed at this confession. “But about five minutes after I got there, I saw you in the corner with some girl I didn’t recognize. You were sitting on a couch surrounded by a group of people, and that girl was sitting on your lap with her arms wrapped around your neck. That’s when I realized I was stupid for even thinking there might have been something between us.” Shrugging my shoulders, I look down, remembering how badly it killed me to see that girl with Nathan because I wanted to be her.
“Natalie, I—”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I give him a slight smile, but his face looks pained.
“To help with the disappointing sting, I drank — a lot. Vanessa and I both did. Eventually, Vanessa became pretty incoherent, so I took her to her room to pass out, figuring I would check on her later. When I returned downstairs, I started getting the spins, so I kicked off my heels and somehow made my way to the kitchen where I thought making something to eat might help. But while I was peaking in the fridge, I felt someone’s bulky arms slide around my waist, pulling me up against them. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening because I was in my own little drunk world at this point in the night.”
I close my eyes as I remember every dreadful detail from that night. The smell of tequila engulfed me from Brian’s hot breath against my neck. The weak feeling in my body was no match for Brian’s strength. The way everyone around me was too drunk to notice what was happening.
My pulse speeds up as the anxiety sets in, making me feel like I’m living through that night all over again.
“Hey,” Nathan says, stirring me away from these thoughts, “we can finish this tomorrow if it’s becoming too much for you.”
