AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’ve seen this film a hundred times, but what girl in this class hasn’t? Couldn’t the professor have picked something more lighthearted for today or really justanythingelse?
I’m staring at the screen, pretending to watch the movie, when I think I hear my name. I continue to stare ahead, ignoring the voice by my ear. But then, I am regrettably sure I hear it again a few seconds later. My gut tells me not to look his way, but I listen to my heart and turn to face Nathan.
The moment I do, I see his dark, piercing eyes, so after quickly looking away, I quietly plead, “Please, not now.” Then turn my attention back to the movie. Back to one of the greatest love stories ever told.
I wipe a single tear off my cheek before Nathan even has time to see it.
My mind is now working overtime. I thought I would be able to talk to Nathan, but clearly, I’m not ready. This whole week, I thought if I could just apologize to him, then I would feel better. But what my heart is telling me, or more accurately persuading me to do, is tell him the truth.
Tell himeverything.
But as much as my heart is right, my gut is trying hard to convince me not to.
Because what if I tell him the truth, and it only makes things worse? It could possibly mean never seeing him again. Never feeling his strong arms wrapping me up against his chest. Never hearing that adorable, carefree laugh. Never seeing that heart-stopping smile. And of course, never tasting those soft, powerful lips on mine … ever again.
That thought scares me more than I am willing to admit.
A deep breath I didn’t realize I was holding in releases as the realization of what I need to do comes to light.
I need to tell Nathan the truth.
No more putting it off, and no more excuses.
But how will I tell him?
The lights turn on, and I realize the professor has ended the film and dismissed the class. I look down at my textbook, thumbing through the pages, hoping no one has just witnessed me daydreaming.
Nathan’s desk chair moves as he packs his bag. Should I ask him to talk now?
Only when I look over at him, hoping to catch his notice, a guy sitting near Nathan starts talking to him about joining a beer pong competition at one of the frat houses tomorrow night. I hear Nathan say, “Maybe,” which I assume is a guy’s noncommittal way of saying, “I’ll be there.” And a lightbulb turns on in my head.
I’ll go to the party.
I could casually run into Nathan like I had no idea he would even be there, and maybe that’s where we could talk. This could be my chance to tell him everything.
Without realizing that I’m still looking in Nathan’s direction, he turns toward me, catching me off guard.
Damn. Here come the waterworks.
Nathan looks like he wants to say something, so I instantly throw everything in my bag before jumping out of my seat and leaving the room. I hear him call after me, but it’s too late. I can’t stop, and neither can the tears.
God, I am really getting tired of crying.
Students are filling up the center of campus, but I move my legs as fast as they will go, almost tripping a couple of times on the cobblestones, until I make it back to my apartment just as it starts to rain.
The concierge, per usual, welcomes me home, and I try to smile back at him as I give a slight wave. When I step onto the elevator, I can finally lean back and take a deep breath.
The doors open on the fifth floor, and when I step off, I see Sarah locking her apartment door.
“Hey, Natalie,” she says.
“Hey, Sarah.” Standing next to her, I realize just how frumpy I actually look. She is wearing a skin-tight black sweater with faded jeans and perfectly straight hair, looking like she just stepped out of an Instagram ad. I, on the other hand, look like I just rolled out of bed and picked the first thing I found to wear, which is exactly what I did.
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and hold my books in front of me to hide as much of myself as possible.
“Are you finished with classes for the day?” she asks.
“Yeah, it’s been a long day. I’m ready to take a hot bubble bath and call it a night.” I laugh a little at how pathetic I sound.
