AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Whatanxietyhas done to me.
When it got bad, it felt like I wasdrowning. That’s the only word I can think of to explain it. Gasping for air but unable to find the surface.
Before this past year, it was manageable. Undetectable even.Thatnight only heightened my anxiety and made it obvious to most of those around me. Those closest to me.
But because ofthatnight, I could no longer hide it from others, forcing me to crave solitude over company.
“I slept great! No issues, I promise.” I tried to sound as convincing as I possibly could.
“Oh, that’s great news! Maybe going to school in Boston will be good after all.” I imagine her smiling at home with the phone pressed against her cheek as she says this.
My eyes begin to water, and my throat tightens for the second time today. I don’t want to start crying while I stand in line surrounded by people I don’t know, so I decide to end the call. “Mom, I’m about to be next in line. I’ll call you later, ok?”
“Ok, Natalie. I love you. Have a great day!”
“Love you too, mom.” I throw my phone back in my bag and walk up to the available cashier who is now waving me over.
* * *
I carry all of the textbooks back to my apartment, and by the time I reach the elevator doors, my arms feel like jelly. The concierge had asked if I needed any help, but I assured him I could manage, and boy was I wrong.
The elevator seems to be taking its time getting to the fifth floor. And when the doors finally open, I take one step into the hallway, not seeing the slight gap, and lose my balance, which then causes my textbooks to slide out of my hands straight down to the ground.
Great.I groan, placing my hands on my hips in frustration. I bend down to pick up my books and hear footsteps coming toward me.
“Oh hey, let me help you with those.”
I look up and see a girl about my age with wavy black hair and wearing a pair of extremely skinny jeans with a plain white tee. She helps me gather my things and introduces herself.
“I’m Sarah. I’m your neighbor right across the hall.” She points to the door opposite mine. “I meant to come by yesterday and introduce myself, but, you know … one thing led to another, and before I knew it, the day escaped me.” She laughs a little. “I noticed your lights were off when I was leaving for the night, so I figured you were out at a party too.” Her arms, covered in delicate floral-looking tattoos, are hugging a few of my textbooks tightly to her chest.
“Oh, no, I was just so tired from moving in yesterday. I passed out pretty early.” I must sound like a complete loser. “I’m Natalie,” I say as I extend my hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Natalie,” she says and shakes my hand with her free one.
After our hands separate, Sarah follows me to my apartment with the other half of my textbooks. I somehow manage to get the key out of my pocket and push the door open with my hip. I place the books on the kitchen island, and she does the same.
“Wow, that is one beautiful view,” I hear her say. She’s standing in the open living room staring out the massive wall-sized window.
She looks at me and says, “So who’d you have to sleep with to get it?”
For a split second, I think she’s serious, but then she starts laughing. I’m relieved and laugh with her. “I assure you, I didn’t have to go to any extremes.” I can feel my cheeks flush a little. “My parents are actually the ones who picked this place out. I think they know the architect of the building or something,” I say a little uncomfortably.
“That’s pretty sweet,” she replies. “Well, on my side, I have a not-so-lovely view of an abandoned building that’s in the process of being demolished. So, hopefully when it is, I’ll have a view like this.”
I walk over to the window and admire the view of the river beside her. “Yeah, this is pretty amazing.” We both stand there in silence, neither of us feeling uncomfortable as we enjoy the sight.
“So, what brought you here?” Sarah asks, breaking the silence in the room.
“Well, I’m attending Linrey University this semester. I thought I would be doing the whole dorm thing, but then this sort of happened,” I say, gesturing with my hands at my new apartment.
“Hey, I go to LU too!” She has an ecstatic look on her face.
“Really?”
“Yeah! I’m a sophomore. I lived on campus last year, and believe me, one year was enough.” She rolls her eyes at that thought. “What are you majoring in?”
“English literature,” I respond. “What about you?”
