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I heard her fear. I wanted to comfort her, to hold her close and tell her everything would be okay. But I knew that wasn’t what she needed from me. She needed someone to listen, to understand.
“I can’t imagine what that must feel like,” I said. “To have all that pressure on you.”
“It’s suffocating,” she said. “Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in it.”
I reached out and took her hand. “You don’t have to do it alone. You have me.”
She looked at me, her eyes shining with tears. “What if that’s not enough?”
“It’s not just me,” I said. “You have your family, your advisors, your people. And most importantly, you have yourself. You are strong and capable, and you can do this. It might not be easy, but you have what it takes to be a great queen.”
She squeezed my hand, a small smile forming on her lips. “Thank you for saying that. I really needed to hear it.”
“Anytime,” I said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
I realized she saw me as a crutch. I was supposed to be there to hold her up. It wasn’t that I didn’t want the job, but I wanted more.
24
EMILIE
Whale watching had always been my escape, the one activity that allowed me to leave behind my responsibilities, obligations, and the weight of my family’s expectations. As the boat continued to cut deeper into the ocean, I felt a familiar sense of calm wash over me. It was as if the world I knew faded away.
I couldn’t help but smile at Theo’s enthusiasm. For a moment, all the reasons I had for keeping my distance from him seemed to evaporate. He was truly enjoying himself. I could tell this was something we would be able to do in the future and he would love it. It was a connection we had. I wondered what he would think about hiking.
Another whale breached, earning a gasp of excitement from Theo. He turned to me, his eyes sparkling with wonder. “Emilie, this is incredible,” he said, his voice filled with genuine excitement. “I can’t believe how amazing this is. You get to do this all the time.”
I couldn’t help but smile, my heart softening in response to his enthusiasm. “It truly is,” I replied, my voice tinged with wonder. “I wish I could do it more often.”
I felt a connection with Theo that I hadn’t expected. He was the polar opposite of me—free-spirited, open-hearted, and unburdened by the weight of duty. And yet, here we were, sharing in this extraordinary experience with very similar reactions to the beauty. My heart stirred in a way I couldn’t ignore.
Theo had a way of making me question everything I had convinced myself of ever since Nora snuck off in the middle of the night. He made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was a world beyond duty and obligation, a world where I could be free to follow my heart. Could I do both? He seemed to think it was possible.
But I had worked so hard to build the walls around my heart, to protect myself from the vulnerability of love. I couldn’t afford to let my emotions get in the way of my responsibilities. Even before I knew I was going to take over the throne, I wasn’t exactly keen on love. I didn’t want to end up with the wrong man and get my heart broken. Love terrified me.
And yet, as I watched Theo’s eyes light up with childlike wonder, I felt my heart softening. He was making it so difficult to stick to my resolve, to push him away and keep him at arm’s length.
Theo turned to me, his gaze steady and filled with something I couldn’t quite define. “Emilie, there’s so much more to life than duty and responsibility. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go and embrace the moment. You can live and love. This isn’t the sixteenth century. You are not expected to be the next Queen Elizabeth I. You get to be married and have love with a husband. It doesn’t stop you from being a good queen.”
His words hung in the air between us. It left me feeling both vulnerable and conflicted. He was offering me a glimpse of a world I had long denied myself. It just felt like it was happening too fast. My life had been turned on its head. I felt lost with no GPS.
I looked at Theo, his eyes filled with sincerity and a hint of longing. And for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to wonder if I was ready to take a chance on something more.
And then fear raised its ugly head again.
“Are you hungry?” I asked. “We have breakfast ready to be served.”
Theo’s face fell, disappointment etched into his features. I knew I had hurt him, but I couldn’t help it. My fear of love was deeply rooted, and it was going to take more than a few words from Theo to uproot it.
“Sure,” he said, smiling. “Is it a typical Norwegian breakfast?”
“If it was, you’d be served a cup of coffee,” I said, laughing.
“You guys don’t eat breakfast?”
I smiled, shrugging a shoulder. “Not really. But when we do, it’s nothing like your American breakfast.”
We walked down the spiral stairs to the lower deck under the cover of the upper deck. A table was set up with a white cloth and fresh flowers.
