Page 7 of Stalemate


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I stand here imploringmy dad with my eyes to let me go, I can see the struggle in his gaze. The underboss in him wants to pull rank and throw me over his shoulder, then put me on the first flight to Aspen. But the father in him wants to allow his little girl to live out her dreams and be free of this life she was born into. Unlike Chanel, Royal, Chaos, and Havoc, I don’t love the life we are a part of. I am doing everything I can to break away and never come back here. My family loves this life and enjoys the killing and the constant threat on their lives. I fucking hate it!

Ever since I was old enough to understand what carrying the Murdoch name meant, I have wanted out of this place. I couldn’t even go through high school or college without two guards tailing me. Shit, I had to go to school under an alias and even my residency is under my fake name. I want a normal life. I’m twenty-seven and have never been able to introduce myself to anyone by my real fucking name.

“King…” Mom looks up at Dad as she places her hand against his chest. He keeps his gaze locked onto mine as she speaks, and I make sure he can see the determination in my eyes. “You need to let her go…” No sooner have the words been uttered does Dad’s angry gaze snap to her, his upper lip pulls back in a snarl. Men twice the size of my mother would be dropping to their knees and begging for my father's forgiveness just from that one look but not my mom, she matches his angry glare with one of her own.

“She’s my little girl!” he roars.

Mom’s brows draw in and she stands up taller. “She’s not a little girl anymore, King. She is a woman and she has a life of her own. Shipping her off will force her to rebel, she barely comes back as it is.” I fight the flinch that wants to break free at the hurt that laces my mom’s words. I know she hates that I never come home unless I have to but I can’t be a part of this world, I’m not cut out for it.

“You want me to do what, Alison? Just let my only child loose and not give a fuck that there is a threat against her? I’ll kill any motherfucker who comes for my baby girl, it’s my one job in this fucking wretched world to keep her safe. I failed you but I won’t fail her.” Mom’s eyes begin to mist at the brokenness in Dad’s tone. I’ll admit, even I get choked up. I know my dad hates himself for what happened to my mom years ago. She was open with me about it when I got older and asked why she and my aunts ran shelters. My mom is my fucking hero.

“Bullshit!” I grit out, both my parent's gazes snap to me. “I know you would have done everything to get Mom back and you did, but I’m not her, Dad. I want something different than she does. Please, don’t make me stay,” I beg.

Dad reaches out and cups my cheek, his eyes boring into mine. I hate that I can see the anguish in his features. I never want to hurt my father, he is everything to me. He’s the first man to love me and he will be the only man to ever know the real Amelia Murdoch. To everyone else, I am simply Max Kingsly.

“I love you, Meelz.” The soft smile that spreads across his face has hope blooming inside me. “But I can’t do it.” I stumble back a step and his features harden. “You will be on the next flight out with the others and will remain in Aspen until I say otherwise.” Anger courses through me, I wish I never had to do what I am about to but he has left me no choice. I spin around to face my Uncle. My Aunt Kiara smiles sadly at me but I focus on Uncle Bishop.

“Am I a part of the Murdoch Mafia?” He cuts his gaze over my head to look at my father seeing if he should answer or not so I push on. “I’m asking you as the Don of the family, not as my Uncle or as my father’s brother.” A frown mars his face and he purses his lips. I hate that I have to put my Uncle in this position but fuck it, we all have to do things in this life that we don’t like. He may not relish the fact I am putting him on the spot but, oh well. He may be the big bad Don outside of these walls but to us kids, he has always just been Uncle Bish. He never raises his voice, turns us away, or makes us feel like we don’t matter, so I know without a doubt what his answer will be.

Scrubbing a hand down his face, he sighs tiredly and moves to me stopping a foot away. He places his hands on the tops of my shoulders and bends until we are at eye level. “Meelz, you know I never wanted any of you kids to be a part of this life. We all ran the risk of our kids being used against us thanks to us being who we are. I would never force you or any of your cousins into this. We were born and raised for this world, you kids were not. So, your freedom is your own and you can do with it as you please.”

“Bishop–” My dad is cut off when Uncle Bish snaps his gaze to him, standing to his full height and straightening his suit jacket.

“I will not force her to stay, she is not under my rule.” I wheel around and face my father ready to fight for my freedom but the moment Royal comes to stand in front of me, I clamp my mouth closed. My cousin may be younger than me but he is fucking intimidating. Unlike his father who has a way of making us feel at ease, Royal is the opposite—he is a wild card. He looms above me, his pale blue eyes bore into mine, an air of darkness clinging to him. I know he would never hurt me, but there is always this little voice in the back of my head that tells me he would murder me if I ever tried to get in his way.

“He may not force you to stay but I will.” My eyes widen and my jaw unhinges in shock that Royal would speak up so openly in front of all our family.

“Royal, that’s enough,” Uncle Bishop warns, but he ignores his father.

“No. Her leaving paints a target on her back which then means we are splitting our resources. And if we are going to fucking war with the cartel, we need to stay together because I’m not paying a ransom for her unaware ass when she gets kidnapped.”

“You’re out of line, Royal,” Mom says in my defense, but my cousin isn’t hearing a word she says, he’s too focused on getting me to submit to his demands. He inches forward a step and that’s when Uncle Bishop and Dad cut in front of both me and Royal halting whatever was about to happen. Royal stands there, scowling at his father. I don’t know what it is with these two but they never seem like they see eye to eye or get along. I know Royal has pulled some fucked up pranks on his father but I also know that Uncle Bishop has tried to keep his only son away from this life.

He is a fool for not taking that gift and running—unlike me, Royal lives and breathes this life. He wants to take over from his father and run both Miami and New York. My cousin is the type to never settle. Those two places won’t be enough for him, he’ll want more and more and never stop until one day someone finally puts a bullet between his eyes and ends his tirade.

“You are not the head of this family–”

Royal cuts his father off. “Yet.” Uncle Bishop tenses and I spy his hands clenching slowly into fists at his sides.

“Learn your fucking place, boy. You may be my son but you are not the head of this family, so, until such time, you’re gonna sit your spoiled ass down and shut the fuck up.”

“Bishop!” Aunt Kiara scolds but she is ignored. The moment Royal steps into his father, the room stills, not a sound can be heard as we all stand in stunned silence and stare at the two men who are now chest to chest glaring at each other. If Royal wasn’t his blood, I have no doubt in my mind Uncle Bishop would have murdered him years ago.

“My place is where you are standing,” my cousin grits out.

Uncle Bishop pushes his forehead into his son’s, baiting him to make a move. “Until my body is in the ground your fucking place is behind me, boy. Keep pushing me and I’ll make sure there is nothing left of this empireIbuilt by the time you are of age to take over.” I see Royal’s eyes darken and the pit in my gut tells me if I don’t defuse this thing between them now, shit is about to change and none of us are ready for the power exchange to happen between these two yet.

“I’ll stay!” I shout. I feel my father’s gaze on me but I don’t stop staring at my uncle and cousin. It takes a tension-filled moment before my other uncles and Chanel crowd around the duo. Uncle Rook tries to pull Royal but he shakes him off. Before the others can get to him, Chanel rushes forward, then out of nowhere Havoc and Chaos are there, helping her pull him back. The instant they are separated I start to feel like I can finally breathe again.

Feeling utterly defeated, I turn away from everyone and stalk into the kitchen pissed off at myself for giving into the demands of my family once again. When will I ever get to live my life?

So many of my friends are able to travel, have a weekend away at their family's cabin and let loose, get drunk and sleep around. I can’t do any of those things, if I go away the place has to be scouted by my dad’s security team and I have to have at least two guards with me at all times. I can’t go to parties in case somehow someone has figured out who I really am and spikes my drink to use me as leverage against my family. Jesus, I can’t even fuck a guy. Not because I can’t but because I don’t want to. Sleeping with someone means feelings get involved and there is no way I can bring an innocent person into my fucked up family.

“Meela?” I keep my back to my mom as I grip the edge of the counter praying for calm. I know this isn’t her fault but it’s hard not to blame her. “Can you talk to me, I might be able to help?” That’s it, I wheel around on my mom and can’t keep the anger off my face.

“How can you help, Mom? There is nothing you can do to stop me from being a Murdoch, it’s in my veins and no matter how many lives I try to save someone, or what good I do in this world it will never erase the fact that I am my father’s daughter.” My mother's face falls at my angry declaration. I fucking hate hurting her but what did she expect?

“Amelia.” I dart my gaze over my mother’s head to see my dad and Aunt Koby standing a few feet behind my mom.

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