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“Fine, I will then. I want kids, too, Lemon. And I’d make a great D.I.L.F.”
“Do you even know what a D.I.L.F. is?”
“Dad you’d like to fuck. And just in case you were wondering, you can fuck me anytime, babe. I like the idea of being a young, hot dad. The one all the other moms want to fuck. But I’m only fucking you, Lemon. I want kids, but I don’t have a set number or a timeline on it. I want more than one because I can’t imagine what it would have been like to grow up without my brothers. And I want as many as I’m lucky enough to have. I’m not going to be disappointed if I don’t have ten kids. But I want at least one girl. And she better look just like her mom, with pretty blonde hair and light brown eyes. And before thirty, after thirty, I don’t give a shit. I’d get you pregnant today, if you’d let me. I didn’t give a fuck whether you were ovulating or not when you let me fuck you bare and come inside you last night, babe.”
Jameson wants a daughter who looks just like me? My ovaries and heart clench so hard it hurts. But I can’t give in. I can’t let him change his whole life to fit my timeline just because it’s what I want more than anything.
“You’re twenty-six. You should be out sowing your wild oats or whatever they tell men to do, while women in their twenties are supposed to be at home doing needlepoint and pining away for a man to knock on their door and ask their father for their hand in marriage.”
“I’ve sown plenty of wild oats already. Any I have left, I’m happy to sow right here in this sweet pussy of yours.” Jameson presses his hand between my legs and grips my pussy in his fist over the fabric of my dress. A moan escapes my throat as I rock my hips against his hand, needy for him like always.
“What about when it’s covered in gray hair?”
“Jesus, Lemon!” Jameson pulls back his hand and then uses it to spank me lightly right between my legs. “You’re six years older than me, not thirty. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal for you. It doesn’t matter to me at all. I’ve never once looked at you and thought about the fact that you’re a few years older than me. When I look at you, I think how pretty you are, how great your tits are, and how long it’s going to be until I can get you naked again.”
“So, you’re saying you want to date me?”
“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?”
Shaking my head, I’m still frowning up at him. I can’t ruin this man’s life just because I want him so much I can barely breathe. Just because my heart will be the one hurting if he stops showing up on my back porch every night. But what if he wants me like that, too? What if I wouldn’t be ruining his life? What if we were building a life that works for both of us?
“No, we haven’t been dating. We’ve been sneaking around and having a lot of sex. Do you even want to date me? That means seeing where this goes. It means being open to the idea of marriage and kids one day, if one of us doesn’t scare the other one away first. And I don’t mean marriage ten or fifteen years down the road. I mean marriage in one or two years. And then kids right after that.”
Jameson’s eyes stay right on mine, holding my gaze as I say every single word. He’s not scared. He’s not trying to run away from me, even though I wouldn’t blame him if he did.
I let out the breath I was holding before continuing. “It means telling our families and friends about us. It means walking into your dad’s house for Sunday dinner holding hands. Breakfast at the diner in front of the whole town. Me kissing you on Grove Street for anyone to see. Being together means putting up with all my crazy all the time. You think you’re up for all of that, kid? No one would blame you if you aren’t. It’s a lot. I’m a lot.”
Jameson smiles down at me. “I think I’m getting pretty damn attached to all your crazy, babe.”
“Really? It’s a lot of pressure. It’s okay if you don’t want to, I understand. I’ll always be your friend. You can say no, and we can just go back to how things used to be. No bullshit. Or you can take some time and think about it.”
He shakes his head at me and squeezes my hips in his huge hands. “I’ve always thought you were smart. I remember you did good in school. But if you’re just figuring out that’s this is what I want, then I may have to rethink that. Because dating you is what I’ve been telling you I want this whole damn time. I want you. At night. In the day. I want you all the time. I don’t just want sex. But I sure as hell want it, too. When you need someone to hold your hand, I want it to be me. I want weeknight dinners at home. I want Sunday dinners at the farm with our family. I want you to tell me all your secrets, Lemon. I want your laughter. I want your tears. I want all of it with you. I want everything with you.”
My tightly held breath comes out in a long, low whistle. “Be careful what you wish for, kid. Because you’ve got it. You’ve got me. We can tell your brothers. Your dad. Oh, my god… Jacks. My mom. My sisters. Gunnar. We can tell the whole damn town for all I care.”
“The whole damn town will do. For a start.” With his hand at the back of my neck, he pulls me towards him and presses his lips against mine. “Might have to go nationwide after that.”
“Just promise me that when I get all the judgmental looks for being a cradle-robbing, cub-loving cougar that you’ll be standing next to me holding my hand.”
“I’m always going to be standing right next to you, holding your hand. I’ve got you, Lemon. I’ve always got you.”
chapter thirty-seven
lily
Leaning forward, Jameson pulls his phone out of his back pocket.
“You have an important phone call to make? Right now?”
“No. Just changing my phone background.”
“Right now?”
“Yup?”
“What are you changing it to?” I ask, peeking at the screen.
Jameson taps at the screen a few times, and it changes to one of the pictures I took of us in his truck last night. The one where I have a huge smile on my face and my eyes closed as Jameson kisses my temple. He’s staring right at me. And the look on his face… it almost looks like… maybe he more than likes me.
