AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Sighing, I shake my head at him. “It’s different for you, kid.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a guy. And because you’re practically a kid still.”
Jameson reaches out and grabs my ass, pulling me towards him until I’m pressed up against his hard body. He raises an eyebrow and glares down at me. “Call me a kid, one more time.”
My lips twitch even as my heart is breaking inside my chest. “I’d ask what you were going to do about it. But by now, I’m pretty sure I already know. And I totally want to. I mean, a lot. I want to a lot. But we can’t keep doing this. We have to stop.” Saying it again hurts even more than the first time. But I have to let him go.
When he shakes his head, I slide my hands down to press against his firm chest over his t-shirt, so soft with age.
“Why the hell would we stop anything? You just told me you want to fuck me a lot, and that’s all I’m interested in hearing.”
“It’s different for me. I’m thirty-two. And you’re my best friend’s little brother. And you look like that, and I look like this.” Grabbing his t-shirt in my fists, I stare up at him. This is it. This is goodbye. And I hate it. But if I cry, he’s never going to listen to me that we have to stop. He’ll never leave me when I’m crying, even if it hurts us both more in the end. So, I bite my lip to hold back tears. I can cry once he’s gone. Once we go back to being friends. Once he stops showing up on my back porch every night. I’ll have all the time in the world to cry then. But I can’t cry now. Not a single tear.
“You look perfect.” He smiles down at me, and then frowns. “And what the hell’s wrong with how I look?”
“Absolutely nothing, kid. That’s the problem.”
“You’re not making sense, Lemon.”
“I’m making all the sense in the world. We have to stop. I just don’t want to deal with the looks and the judgment when… Oh my god, people are going to call me a cougar. No one can ever know.” Covering my face with my hands, I press my forehead against his chest. “Oh my god, I’m a cougar. I’m a total cougar.”
“Prettiest cougar I’ve ever seen.” Jameson kisses the top of my head, and then he has the nerve to laugh at me. “My pretty little cougar mama. Does that make me the cub? I’m new to the whole cougar thing, so I’m not sure how this all works. But I’m into it.”
“This isn’t funny, asshole!” Leaning back, I slap at his chest.
“It’s a little funny.”
“It’s not even a little funny.”
“Come on over here with me. Sit down on your cub’s lap, give me those paws, and talk to me.” Jameson presses his arm around my shoulders and guides me back to the sofa. He sits down and then pulls me to sit across his lap.
I wriggle just enough so that my ass falls off of his thigh onto the sofa. I don’t need to be worrying about his legs going numb under my weight during a conversation that’s already going to be extremely awkward. I already know it’s going to be the hardest conversation of my life. But we have to stop. I know we have to stop. Jameson grunts, but he doesn’t fight me. Then he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tight.
“Talk to me, babe.”
“I’m sorry. But I don’t want to go through all the drama of everyone finding out that we’re sleeping together when this can’t really go anywhere past what it is. I’m sorry, but we need to go back to just being friends, okay? That’s what we said from the beginning. When one of us wants to stop, we stop and go back to being friends. No bullshit.” Pressing my hand to his face to take the sting out of my words, I stroke his cheek, prickly stubble grabbing at the pad of my thumb. “I care about you, Jameson. I care about you so much. I always will. But we’re just friends who are great at sex. That’s all this is. That’s all it can be.”
“And what the hell is the matter with being great at sex?” His face is dark. I never see this Jameson. He’s always cracking jokes and smiling at me. But he’s so angry right now. He’s furious.
“Nothing is the matter with that. This has been great. So great. But I mean, there’s more to life than just sex, right? Even really, really great sex. Where can this go? I want kids at some point. And I’m thirty-two. So, I want them sooner rather than later.”
“And?” He’s still glaring at me, but now he’s also looking at me like I’m speaking gibberish.
“And you’re twenty-six. And you’re a guy. You aren’t going to even be thinking about kids for another ten years, probably.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Were you going to get around to asking me what I want? Or were you just going to keep on making things up instead? Should I go into the kitchen so you can have this conversation all by yourself and decide what I want for me?”
He looks pissed.
His jaw is clenched tight, and he’s glaring down at me.
And all I want to do is lick his beautiful face.
How the hell am I ever going to let this man go? It’s not fair. But life isn’t fucking fair. And I have to let him go.
Nodding at him, I wave for him to talk. “Please, go ahead. Tell me all about how your grand plan is to have six kids before you’re thirty.”
