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“I’m sorry, Cash.”
“Don’t be. You never lied to me about what this was, just didn’t share what you were doing.”
His eyes look a little wet as he glances at me. “I didn’t.”
“You eat?” I ask, noting how pale he looks.
“I’m not hungry,” he says and then swipes at his eyes. “I should go. You have my number if you want to try this again.”
I nod and watch as he leaves, his shoulders slightly slumped, and for a second, I think about calling him back to me—wrapping him up in my arms and holding him for a while.
But I don’t. I need to think on this. Can I share him with someone else? Am I ready to get my heart wrecked? Because that’s what will happen if I keep this up. I’m going to end up ruined. I’m already starting to feel a deeper pull in his direction. And I just got out of a long relationship and I feel a little battered and bruised. I’m too old for this shit.
I sit for a while in my drab living room before grabbing my keys once more. I need to see my best friend. Maybe he will have some fucking advice.
Before I take off, I message Ford and let him know I’m on the way. Don’t even bother with much of a heads up. We’re close, been through so much together, and he just gets me. Can see through all my shit. Maybe he will have some advice.
I haven’t told him yet, haven’t said I’m with a guy yet. Like hell I’m telling him who I’m with, but since he’s bi, maybe he has some advice for a questioning guy.
“Hey, you fucker, I’m outside,” Ford calls from his back porch as soon as I open the door to his house. I have a key to his place and he has one to mine. We exchanged them ages ago when we realized it just made everything easier.
“What are you doing?” I ask when I see Ford trying to move something heavy without help. “Should have called me earlier. I could have helped you with this.”
I move toward him and huff a laugh when I see him rolling his eyes.
“Don’t need no help,” he says and then sighs when I help him lift a plank of wood and hold it up.
“Seems like you did. What are you building now?”
He always has some project going on. His kitchen was the most recent. I helped get that shit together. But Ford has some manic energy that he needs to burn at all hours. And usually I’m right there with him, helping him out.
“A shed.”
“You already have a shed. What do you need this for?” I ask as he grabs his nail gun.
“It’s gonna be a sex shed.”
A surprised laugh escapes me and Ford grins stupidly at me.
“Gotcha.”
“Yeah, well, you horny fucker. I wouldn’t be surprised if you did something kinky like that.”
Ford waggles his eyebrows at me, and I roll my eyes once more, helping him get the right side of the shed upright as he swipes a hand across his forehead. It’s a cool night, but still, my best friend seems to have been out here a while working up a sweat.
“Come on, you can help me finish this after a drink.”
He waves me inside, and I follow him, my eyes taking him in. He always was a bit smaller than me, but not by much. Those muscular arms and legs can out-lift me any day, but for some reason, I hold on to the bulk more.
“What do you want?” he asks and before I can answer, he hands me a beer.
I grab on to it, our fingers brushing slightly as I take it from his hand.
Ford pulls a grape soda from the fridge and pops the top, chugging half of it. A small burp escapes him when he’s finished and then he swipes the back of his hand across his mouth.
“So, what’s up?” he asks, stepping toward me. His hand settles gently on my face, his thumb brushing over a spot near the corner of my lips. “You got a bit of something there.”
I let him wipe me up and then his hand drops to his side and he arches an eyebrow at me.
