Page 39 of Connor


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"Calm down, baby, you were perfect. Nothing to be sorry for, because you did everything right."

"No, I couldn’t do it. I thought I could, but I couldn’t."

"Shhh. Hush, baby. Just rest and don’t talk."

I closed my eyes and basked in his words and the sweetness of his tone. He pulled down the blanket from the back of the chair and draped it around me. He almost acted as if he loved me too.

He kissed me again, and I melted into him, all the adrenalin draining from my body all at once. I never even knew when I fell asleep in his arms.

****

Jared

I carried him up to my bedroom and sat beside him until he settled back to sleep, wondering why the hell I’d thought it was a good idea to have a New Year’s Eve party anyway. I just wanted to be alone with my boy. After a while, though, good manners forced me back downstairs, so I tucked him in and kissed him goodnight.

It wasn’t long until midnight came and went, but it was three in the morning before the party began to wind down. I left the last of the die-hards downstairs, leaving it up to security to gently move them on their way, or if they’d been drinking, to call them an Uber. And I went upstairs to join Connor.

He was still snuggled down in the covers, with just the top of his head showing. The adrenalin dump he’d experienced would probably keep him asleep until morning. I took a quick shower and finally slid in the space beside him, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close.

We’d have a lot to talk about in the morning, and I needed time to process what had happened. I’d been shocked when I’d seen him with Master Alex and realized what he was thinking of doing. Maybe I should have put a stop to it, but if he’d been any other person at the party, expressing an interest in seeing “what it felt like,” I wouldn’t have stopped them. Not with a roomful of onlookers and an experienced Dom, who was known to be a decent trainer. Alex had promised to take it easy on him and he had. I was right there to make sure of it. So why had I still been so nervous about it?

Because I knew he wasn’t the usual kind of sub, that’s why. I’d known it from the start, which was why I’d resisted him for so long. He wasn’t for me, I thought, though I was drawn to him from the start. I’d known he needed someone to look out for him. It wasn’t that he was weak—far from it. But he was fragile, and it was something he needed to talk to a therapist about. An appointment I was planning on arranging for him as soon as I could. He needed structure and support, and I’d be there to give it to him for at least as long as he’d let me.

I’d do it because I’d been surprised by how I’d felt last night when he told me he needed me and called me Daddy. I’d have done anything for him in that moment, and I realized that I’d fallen in love with him. Maybe it was too soon to say love, though that’s what I thought it was. I knew I wouldn’t be parted from him unless he told me to go, and that I wanted nothing but good things to happen to him. I thought he’d already been through a lot—maybe more than I knew—and I’d do everything in my power to make sure he didn’t have to go through anymore alone.

He stirred then and turned in my arms to blink sleepily at me. “Hi.”

I kissed his lush, sleepy mouth. “Shh, go back to sleep.”

“Is it New Year’s yet?”

“It is. But you can celebrate in the morning.”

“Oh god, if I’m dreaming this, dreaming you holding me like this, please don’t wake me up!”

I smiled at him and kissed the tip of his nose. “You’re not dreaming, unless I am too. Waffles later?”

"Yes, please, sir,” he mumbled and closed his eyes. I swear to god, five seconds later the little shit was snoring.

Chapter Twelve

Connor—not quite twelve months later

“I’m home,” I said, walking into Jared’s study and plopping my book bag down beside his desk. He looked up and frowned at me for not knocking, but he still turned away from the desk and patted his lap.

I went eagerly to climb on and wrap my arms around his neck. “Are you glad to see me, Daddy?” I whispered in his ear, nuzzling him. He popped my ass and growled at me for calling him that, though I secretly thought he might like it a little bit.

“Did you have a good day, brat?”

“I did. I got to go to the school I’ll be doing my practicum at, and meet the teacher in charge, Mrs. Adams. She’s super sweet, and the kids are a handful in her classroom. She really needs my help, I think.”

I had been taking classes at Georgia State to get an add-on certificate to my English degree. It was in Special Education, and I was finally about ready for my practicum, or my “student” teaching. Even though I’d taught before, this was a new field for me, and I’d need all the help I could get from experienced teachers like Mrs. Adams. I’d be working in a regular classroom and taking students who needed extra help out of the class from time to time to work with them individually or in small groups. It was perfect for me, because it satisfied my need to do more to help, and yet it wasn’t overwhelming for me. Because though I’d be helping students work toward being successful on those standardized tests, the burden was no longer just on my shoulders.

“Of course, she does,” Jared said. “And you’ll be great at it. Just remember what Dr. Evans says about not letting yourself get too stressed out and overwhelmed. You have to ask for help as soon as you need it.”

“I know, and I promise I will.”

“Good. Go get cleaned up for dinner, baby, and let me finish up here. Would you like to go to the club later this evening? Cruz will be there.”

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