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“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” he called out, irritation lacing his words. “For the first time in our lives, you’re blocking me at every turn. You’re scared because of the way she makes you feel. You’re scared of this threat the same way we all are...and it’s because of her.”
I slowed to a stop and my stare shifted from the ground to him at his disturbingly accurate accusations. Not that I expected anything less from him. He was in my head the same as I was his.
“You’re fearless, Diggs, I know that. I’ve fought by your side for nearly half our lives. You’re allowed to be scared when you feel something this damn powerful. You’re allowed to want it.”
“I already told you—”
“Stop fucking lying to me, Evan.”
One of my eyebrows lifted. Not at the harsh demand but at the sound of my name.
It was weird to hardly associate with your name...to barely recognize it.
Maverick and I hadn’t exactly accepted new identities when we’d joined the Borellos, but Diggs was just who I’d become over the past fourteen years. I couldn’t even remember the last time anyone had called me Evan. But if Maverick was using it, I’d clearly pushed him too far.
“I don’t want it,” I finally said, then gestured to the building we’d left. My words dripping with meaning when I continued. “I don’t wanna be so consumed in someone else that I lose all sense of reason and forget how to protect people.”
“We still know how to protect people.”
“Dare should’ve had all the kids in the Borello house within an hour of us finding those bodies,” I said unapologetically. “You know I’m right.”
“I know,” Maverick whispered. “Dare does too. Should’ve seen his face when he realized it.”
I shrugged and looked pointedly around. “I don’t see anyone leaving.”
The Borello house was large enough to keep all of us, even if it was a little cramped now that there were a ton of minis running and crawling around. But more than that, we had a massive safe room.
Whenever there had been any whisper of a threat or worry of retaliation over the years, Dare had forced us to hole up there to wait it out. The fact that he hadn’t immediately done the same and still wasn’t working on it said enough about everyone’s true worries.
“Things are different,” Maverick started somewhat hesitantly. “This will be the first time we’ve had something against us in this way since Kieran, Jess, and Conor joined us. Dare can’t force them to bunker in that house.”
“When the safe room’s activated, no one can get through those doors—Kieran, Jess, and I have all tried.” Considering the three of us could get past most locks and slip into seemingly impenetrable places, the room might as well be a fortress. “Kieran knows the Borello house is where we need to be.”
“Then he’ll decide that,” Maverick said firmly. “He and Dare call the shots. We don’t. And you?” His head shook as he rocked closer to me. “Think about what you’re doing. You know how miserable I was without Einstein, and that wasn’t my choice. I get that you’re afraid to be with this girl, but you’re already keeping things from me and pushing me away because you’re trying to make yourself believe you don’t want her. You’re gonna ruin your life if you keep yourself from her.”
I dipped my head but refused to change the course I was on because I’d already committed to avoiding Tree—whatever her real name was. I could stay away long enough until she was nothing more than a blur in the nameless faces of women I’d slept with.
“You know, I’m not completely fearless,” I muttered as I started backing away again, a grin stealing across my face when he looked at me doubtingly. “Kieran still nearly makes me piss myself.”
A scoffing laugh left him as he nodded in agreement. “But you still look him in the eye and smile like you find him amusing.”
I held my arms out to my sides. “Better to face your enemies with a smile than—”
“Let them know they scare you,” he finished for me, eyes rolling even as a smirk pulled at his mouth. “Right, you’ve always said that. Except you’re genuinely never afraid, even when you should be.”
“You’re welcome for lightening the mood whenever we’re about to die,” I teased, then tossed a half-assed wave as I turned. “First day of school. Gonna pick up Mini and take her to get ice cream.”
“Where will you be after?” he asked before I could get far, concern lining the question he normally wouldn’t ask.
Then again, I didn’t usually keep things from him.
“Gotta bring her back here to her dad,” I said indifferently, as if I hadn’t heard his worry, then shot him a look from over my shoulder. “Unless I get a message that I need to take her to a certain house...”
When he only nodded, I continued down the street and headed toward the elementary school that rested just off the main streets of Wake Forest, a few blocks from ARCK.
For the most part, the town was small enough to walk wherever you needed to be, so long as you were already in or near the downtown streets. Not that I didn’t have ways to get me from one place to the next faster than I could walk. It was just that the vehicles I owned only had two wheels and one seat as a reminder of the vow I’d taken.
I’d willingly stepped into this dark and twisted life. With everything I’d seen, I wouldn’t ask someone to do the same. Another seat behind or beside me signified collateral damage, and I refused to have any on my conscience.
