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It was fear.
And it was so staggering that I hadn’t realized Connor had knelt on the bed until he gently curled his hands around my neck and lowered his head to mine.
“I’ve been an asshole to you, I know, and I’m sorry,” he began, voice a stunning mixture of that fear and some unknown declaration. “Last night...I was already frustrated and defeated because this case is getting to me. I was going off no sleep. Then I saw the flyer, and I lost it and took it out on you. It doesn’t excuse it, and I’m so fucking sorry. You have no idea how much I hate the times I’ve yelled at you. But, Maci, I will never hurt you; I need you to know that.”
“You say that now, but you can’t know—”
“No,” he said firmly, body practically shaking with all that intensity even though his hold on me remained gentle. “Maci, I swear, I will never hurt you.”
We’d gone from a six-month hiatus of even speaking to pranking each other and pissing each other off to a night of the most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had. He couldn’t promise me something like that after one night. But with the way his blue eyes were pleading with me to believe him, I just nodded, unsure of how to continue arguing with him.
“And I know you act like a badass around your brothers, but I’ve seen you cry,” he went on. “I know you’re not heartless, and I know from drunken ramblings and what happened last night that you’re in this just as bad as I am. So, stop waiting for me to show you the door, and stop acting like you don’t care.”
I’d stopped breathing at drunken ramblings. “What did I say when I was drunk?” I asked, the words coming out on a horrified wheeze.
A bright smile crossed his face before he pressed his mouth to mine for a firm, brief kiss. “Enough for me to know you want me too. And more than enough for me to be pissed that you were gone the next morning.”
“Connor, what did I—”
We both looked at the nightstand when his phone began ringing, and with a huff, he pushed away from me and reached for it.
With a quick glance at the screen, he mumbled a curse and answered the call. “Green.” His eyes shifted back to me as he listened to the person on the other end and his head lowered when he asked, “When’s she coming in?...All right, I’m leaving now.”
Shoving the phone into his pocket once he’d ended the call, he hurried to tuck his shirt into his pants before grabbing the tie off the bed.
“Work?” I assumed as I watched him put it on.
“Yeah,” he mumbled distractedly. “I need to get down there to interview someone who may have information.”
I thought of the little he’d said about the case he was working, nodding as I said, “Hopefully she does.” But just as I started climbing out of his bed so he could leave, he put a hand on my bare shoulder to stop me.
“You don’t need to leave. You have a couple more hours before you need to be up for work—go back to sleep.”
“Are you sure?”
“Maci...” My name was all amused exasperation as it rumbled from him. “I’m sure. Stay and stop questioning this, okay?”
“’Kay.”
After a slow kiss that had every part of me heating and had me ready to beg him not to leave just yet, he pulled away. His fingers trailing over my skin and leaving chills in their wake until he was out of reach and heading for the door.
With one last longing look at me, the corner of his mouth tipped up as he tapped on the doorframe. “See you later, sweetheart.”
And then he was gone, leaving me there with an uncontrollable smile on my face as I flopped back onto his pillows. But I only lasted long enough for him to put his gear on and leave the apartment before realizing there was no way I could fall asleep again.
I needed to call Amber.
Jumping out of Connor’s bed, I got dressed, then ran to my apartment and searched for my phone. Less than one minute and five sentences later, I rushed to put on clean clothes to meet her at our favorite coffee shop so I could tell her everything.
* * *
I hadn’t seen or heard from Connor the entire day after I’d left his bed, but I’d figured it had to do with the case he was working, given the little bits he’d said about it.
So, I’d tried not to let it bother me—he was busy. Clearly.
But when I’d excitedly told Amber nearly every dirty detail from our night together, my excitement had faded as I’d begun questioning everything. Questioning if I was remembering it correctly or making it up completely. By the end of our coffee date yesterday morning, she’d been more pumped about the entire thing than I was.
Then again, she was afraid I’d get back with Bryce. So, she was deliriously happy this night had snapped me out of my “clearly liquor-induced Bryce phase.”
