Page 162 of King of Death


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“You worked very hard to not become just like the Brid,” she continued, sounding amused. “And you succeeded. You have made things better for the seelie Folk. For all Folk. You are kind and fair. You try to help them as much as you can.”

I was struggling to pull myself back together after being reduced to nothing but the ugliest parts of me, but the tears slowly stopped falling as I stood there in silence.

“You almost lost yourself to your anger for a while, but in the end, you didn’t. That is why I asked for this in our bargain, Acherone. When you came here to collect my venom, you were on the cusp of veering down a path that would have made this world a very, very different place from what it is now.”

“You… you mean if I’d let myself become like her? Like the Brid?” I whispered.

“Yes. And though you didn’t, I am still compelled to obey the terms of our bargain just as much as you. To judge you on everything, including the bad. It just so happens that the bad turned out to be not quite as bad as it could have been.”

I shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself. “It doesn’t feel that way.”

“I assure you, it could have been much, much worse.”

Those words made my heart rate finally calm. I let out a slow breath, some of the tension leaving me.

“You have strived to be better, Ash,” Gadleg said, voice gentler now. “When we struck our bargain, I saw two very different versions of you standing in front of me in this moment. I am glad that this is the one who returned.”

My shoulders sagged with relief. I felt stripped raw, but as I wiped my eyes, I asked, “So this is… the good version of me?”

“No one can be reduced to simply good or bad, but this is the version of you that tries to be good. So, Acherone.” She shifted around her tower before settling again, watching me closely. “Do you think, after hearing all these things, that you are still worthy of living?”

I stared at her in silence, wondering if there was a wrong answer. But then a sense of peace washed over me. She had exposed all my fears, all my regrets, all the terrible things that still sometimes kept me awake at night. The hurt I’d caused. The innocent people I’d killed. The constant, churning worry that no matter what I did, one day I might still become as vile and selfish and bloodthirsty as the Brid. That it was inevitable.

But she was right. I tried to be better, to be good. I tried so hard to make everyone around me happy, to do the right thing. I was allowed to fuck up. Everyone fucked up. Everyone made poor decisions and terrible mistakes.

I took a deep breath, still not sure if this was a trick, but knowing there was only one answer I could give honestly.

“Yes,” I told Gadleg, my voice coming out steadier than I thought it would.

She was silent for a long moment, until her tongue flickered out to taste the air. “I agree.”

Tension I hadn’t even realised I’d been carrying for the last seven years melted away in a rush. My whole body sagged, breath shuddering out of me as I scrubbed my face with trembling hands.

“Our bargain has been fulfilled on both ends. Go and live your life in peace, Acherone.” She paused as a faint roar echoed over the sea from the mainland. “Perhaps sooner rather than later, before your king burns down the forest searching for you.”

I let out a shaky laugh, reaching up to clutch my feather pendant. “I will.”

“And be careful crossing the fingerstones on the way back.”

I paused. “Would they be able to kill me?”

“No, but if you fall, you will wish they could. Death would be preferable to an eternity of drowning at the bottom of the sea with the creatures that wait there.”

Shivering, I turned to face the trees. “I’ll be careful.”

There was no way in hell I was going to let that be my fate after getting through this.

It was dark when I finally waded onto the shore, tired and hungry and thirsty, and trying not to think about how long Orna might make my walk back.

The dragon had vanished while I made the perilous journey across the fingerstones, swooping down into the forest and disappearing from sight. I kept wondering where he was as I leapt from boulder to boulder. Wondering what he was doing. Hoping he wasn’t furious or distraught or closing himself off already thanks to my sudden disappearance.

Soaking wet from my final brief swim to the northern shore, I trudged up the beach and collapsed against the side of a boulder, tipping my head back while I caught my breath.

It was over.

I didn’t want to move, exhaustion blanketing me as I closed my eyes. But after giving myself a minute, I clambered to my feet, shoving my wet curls back with a sandy hand.

Then I cupped both hands around my mouth and called, “Lonan!”

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