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Chapter Eight
Lonan
“The seelie pigs all pity you.” Balor tutted, lounging back against a tree just beyond seelie land. “How far you’ve fallen, Lonan. You’re an embarrassment to our family.”
I clenched my teeth as they grew sharp and cut into my gums, blood mingling with the red wine already staining my tongue. “So this is how you spend your time now? Skulking in the forest on the edge of seelie, waiting to catch glimpses of me?”
“Couldn’t I have simply been enjoying a walk?” he asked demurely—a fae answer. “I heard you speaking to that guard. I’d recognise your voice anywhere, Lonan, so I decided to come and say hello.”
I shuddered, looking away from his eyes, hard and bright like jewels.
“Don’t you want to come home yet, little brother?” Balor purred, easing as close to the treeline as he could. “I might be able to convince Mother not to slaughter you on sight.”
I stayed silent, but for some reason I didn’t get up and walk off where he couldn’t follow me. The sight of him still sent revulsion shuddering through me, but… he was the only other unseelie I’d seen for weeks. I couldn’t bring myself to move. I could feel the cold coming off him. The sight of his pale skin and hair and sombre clothes made me feel… safe. Almost comforted.
“Do you feel like you’re dying yet, Lonan?” Balor murmured, sinking down to his haunches—with a wince, I noticed. It sent sharp satisfaction stabbing through me as I remembered what Ash had done to him. Hopefully it had maimed him permanently.
“I remember how hot and stuffy that palace is,” he continued when I said nothing. “How cluttered and crowded. Seelie pigs scuttling around like insects, so many of them. I can smell their stink from here.”
So could I. Too warm and earthy and rich. I missed the sharp bite of the cold stinging my nostrils. I missed cool wind blowing my hair back from my face, tingling my cheeks.
“And your seelie dog. Now a king,” Balor sneered. My gaze shot to him, fury sparking in my chest.
“Don’t even speak of him,” I snarled, then forced myself to calm, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me angry. Taking a slow breath, I painted a smirk on my face. “You have enough to remember him by. Hopefully he caused permanent damage.”
Balor’s teeth flashed white and sharp in the dark. “Come into the forest and I will prove to you that he didn’t, brother.”
Revulsion twisted my mouth, made me look away from him sharply as I shuddered. “You sicken me.”
“I sicken you?” Balor snarled, pointing a sharp finger towards the seelie palace in the distance. “You are the one fucking a seelie dog every night, and now you are nothing but his little pet. How utterly humiliating. The pet of a mongrel.”
“Shut up,” I seethed. “Keep speaking of him that way and I will finish what he started. I’ll cut you in half.”
“Mm, and you can now, can’t you, now that you have your name? Now that you are no longer under Mother’s thumb.” He smirked at me. “Just as I have been able to since the moment you were born. I’ve had my name for many years, Lonan. Every time I pinned you up against a wall by your neck, every time I pushed you down the stairs, every time I locked you outside in the snow at night, your fragile little life truly was in my hands. Don’t you wonder why I never actually killed you?”
“Because she would have realised,” I said tightly. “She would have found out that you had visited Ogma.”
“No, that wasn’t why.” His tone was languid, carefree. “It was because you will be an asset to me when I become king.”
I went very still, watching him. Slowly, I leaned back on my hands. “So sure it will be you?”
He snorted in derision, a pale brow lifting. “As if it could be anyone else. Bres is a drunken fool, and now he is utterly useless. Cethlen doesn’t care enough. And you.” He smiled, slow and sharp. “You are just our trained dog. Nothing more.”
I lifted my chin. “She can’t force me to do anything anymore.”
Balor’s hearty laugh made my blood run cold.
“She doesn’t need your name to force you, Lonan.” He grinned at me, wide and sly and triumphant. “You’re too young and naïve to even realise how conditioned you are. You have been trained to obey.”
My lips pressed hard together, nostrils flaring. I wanted to deny it. I wanted to tell him he was wrong.
I was just terrified that I wouldn’t be able to get the words out.
Balor leaned forward, his tight white braid slipping over his shoulder. Voice low, he murmured, “You miss it, don’t you? The fear you instilled in the Folk. The semblance of control you had.”
Again, I couldn’t find the courage to open my mouth and say no. Or perhaps I already knew that I wouldn’t be able to utter the word.
Sitting back, Balor straightened his spine and brushed dirt off his trousers. “I can give you back that sense of purpose you are so sorely lacking here. I can wipe away the shame of what you have done.”
