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“Many. Fioda is the ruler of seelie land. Her counterpart, Sloga, is the same for unseelie.”
“I thought… I thought I was the ruler of seelie land.” I felt my cheeks get hot, aware of how petulant the question could come across.
“The monarchs are more like… servants to the lands. They guide the seasons. They protect the Folk under their rule. Fioda and Sloga are the very essence of those lands. Without them, the rulers wouldn’t have much power.”
“So my—The power comes from Fioda?”
“It’s linked to her, yes.” Nua’s big green eyes slid over to me. “The Higher Spirits are like the embodiments of fae life, each of them with a task that they will carry out for eternity. Ogma, with her book of names. Gadleg, keeping vigil over Hybra. Fioda and Sloga keeping watch over seelie and unseelie lands.”
“What about the forest?” I asked. “Is there a Higher Spirit that looks after that?”
“Yes. Not many Folk get to meet them. They don’t show themselves often.” Nua nudged my arm and pointed at something ahead of us. “Do you see it?”
I peered into the distance, trying to spot anything through the thick fog that swirled with faint pinks and greens and purples. It moved constantly, a wall of it rising up and twisting through the trees, like something was disturbing it.
But beyond it, I thought I could see glimpses of… something. Honestly, it just looked like more forest to me, only hazy and muted. I side-eyed Nua.
“I can only see the forest.”
“The other forest. The other side.” Nua nodded at the mist. “That’s the mortal world.”
My steps stuttered, but I kept moving forward. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back. To see everything I’d lost. It was easier to keep the grief at bay when I was here, so far away from it all. In a world nothing like the one I’d been snatched from. In a new life without my parents, my friends. Without cars and TV and junk food and the internet.
I wasn’t part of that world anymore. I’d been ripped from it, changed into something new, something I was still struggling to fully understand. Sometimes… sometimes my emotions flared so hot and sharp that it scared me. The murderous rage I’d felt for months over the Carlin and her sons, the rage that still lingered. The cold, calm fury that had allowed me to kill all her guards. To kill my own birth mother.
The overwhelming, almost obsessive love I felt for Lonan. The all-encompassing determination to keep him safe at all costs.
I felt everything so much more keenly now. So much so that it was hard to handle sometimes. I’d always had a hot temper, but now it ignited so quickly and readily that I struggled to bring it back under control. I’d always loved sex, but now I felt wild when I had Lonan beneath me or on top of me, like I would never get enough of him, like I didn’t ever want to stop.
It had gotten worse since I’d become king. Sometimes, my skin crawled like there was something beneath it trying to get out. Something as hot as fire, alive and eager to make itself known. A new muscle aching to stretch and grow strong.
I knew instinctively that it was the power I’d sapped from the Brid as she died. The power that had been strong enough to literally bring me back to life. It almost felt like another being inside me, wanting to take over, to possess me completely and rule over everyone else.
I hadn’t told anyone. Not even Lonan. I may not have anticipated becoming king, but I was king. I couldn’t let anyone see how much it scared me. I couldn’t let anyone know how little control I’d managed to grasp over the power now living inside me.
I couldn’t bear the thought of Nua thinking I was too young and childish to be king. I couldn’t bear the thought of the seelie thinking I was weak and incapable. And I especially couldn’t bear the thought of Lonan thinking I wasn’t strong enough to keep him safe, to make everything right, to finally give him the life he deserved, away from his cruel mother and awful brothers. Away from being whipped and beaten and forced to slaughter Folk.
“How are you feeling, Ash?” Nua asked softly, snapping me out of my thoughts. My gut clenched with fear that he could somehow tell what I’d been thinking, but then he added, “It might be very strange for you to go back there. It might be painful.”
I cleared my throat and rasped, “I know. But I still want to. I want to… say goodbye to them properly.”
“Of course.” Nua briefly squeezed my arm. “You will. Are you ready?”
The wall of mist was looming closer now, muted browns and greens peeking through the swirls. I let out a slow breath and squared my shoulders, but found my hand creeping out to grip Nua’s. He squeezed back, saying nothing.
“Yes. I’m ready.”
He gently urged me forward, and the mist enveloped us, cool and damp on my face. I could feel something intangible trying to tug me back as we walked, something that wanted to keep me on fae land, where I now belonged. Like a tether pulling at my navel, through my insides and out my spine. I ignored it, gripping my brother’s hand tighter and shivering from the cold mist that blanketed us.
A few moments later, it dissipated, thinning over the ground before swirling behind trees and vanishing, like it was alive. I blinked as I took in the forest. It didn’t look much different from the one we’d left behind, but at the same time, it did. Everything was… dull. Muted. The brown bark on the trees wasn’t as rich or deep. The leaves weren’t as vibrant. The air had a sharp tinge to it, dirty and biting, making me wrinkle my nose.
“It’s the iron,” Nua said quietly, giving my hand another squeeze before releasing it. “It’s everywhere. And all the people and pollution…”
We weren’t even in a built-up area, here in the forest near my old cottage, which had been on the edge of a tiny, sleepy village in the countryside surrounded by farm fields. But he was right—I could smell the car fumes and the artificial scents of laundry detergent and fabric softener from someone’s washing, way in the distance. I could smell the tang of metal that made my skin itch.
We started walking again, the forest quiet aside from our boots crunching over the leaf-littered ground. The sun was rising, and I could see the pale blue sky through the leaves above us. A bird trilled nearby, making me miss Lonan so sharply for a moment that my chest ached.
Everything felt flat and lifeless around us. The air was almost heavy, pressing down on the top of my head. But at the same time, power itched beneath my fingers. Something new and fae within me was keenly aware that there was a glut of mortal lives within reach. Lives to play with, to trick and seduce.
