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I was losing my patience. “Please just tell me.”
Sloga inclined his head as he passed me one of the cups. “Apologies, Lonan. The memories are painful and still feel too fresh, but I will tell you everything. But please, you must drink and eat. Idony is right. You look like you are waning.”
I reluctantly bit into the apricot, finally acknowledging how hungry I was when my belly rumbled at the first hint of food in days. Sloga watched until I had taken a sip of tea, then gave a satisfied nod.
I stopped breathing when he began to speak.
“Your father was the son of two unseelie who lived in the forest. His mother was a latent spiritsmith—it never manifested in her. She moved to the Woods of Orna to see if the surroundings would spark it. Your grandfather, who loved her deeply, went with her. The Carlin was already the monarch then. She wasn’t happy about them abandoning unseelie, but didn’t much care about two common Folk.
“And then your father was born,” Sloga continued. “And the power certainly wasn’t latent in him. He shifted at a very young age, just like you did.”
“What did he shift into first?” I asked in a whisper.
“A blackbird.” He gave me a sad smile. “Similar to your crow, yes?”
I swallowed, shaking my head. “My first was a blackbird too. The crow is just the one Folk know about.”
“What?”
I had forgotten about Idony already, and unease crept into my gut when I saw her staring at me in shock.
“You can shift into more than one thing like Faulis could?” She looked at Sloga. “Did you know this?”
He chuckled. “Yes. I’ve spotted you many times out in the forest, Lonan. I would recognise you anywhere, just like your father. But I didn’t know that your first form was a blackbird like his.” His eyes softened. “Faulis would have loved that very much.”
“Did he know about me?” I croaked, juice from the apricot spilling between my fingers when I squeezed it too tight.
“Yes.” The look Sloga gave me was grave. I stiffened when he reached out and gently gripped my arm, but I couldn’t bring myself to shake him off. “Even though he never got to meet you, Lonan, he loved you more than anything.”
“What happened to him?” My voice shook. “What did she do?”
Sloga sighed. He and Idony exchanged a glance.
“Twenty-three years ago, Faulis decided to accompany me to the pyre-burning at the start of the Bitter Months. He had never spent much time on unseelie. He preferred staying in the forest with me, on wilder land and close to his parents. But he enjoyed the festivities very much. He was always a little rambunctious.” Sloga’s long mouth tilted into a fond smile. “He drank a touch too much wine and ended up taking requests from the Folk, telling them he would shift into anything they called out, putting on a spectacle that delighted everyone in attendance.”
Sloga’s expression grew tight. “The Carlin noticed him. And she decided that she wanted him. He was a prize. A master spiritsmith—unseelie, no less. So beautiful that even her cold heart wasn’t immune. And within a single evening, he had charmed every one of her subjects. He would have been another tool in her belt. Another weapon in her arsenal. So she set out to claim him.”
“But…” I rubbed my forehead. “Did he want her back? I thought… Wasn’t he with you?”
“Yes, he was with me.” Sorrow flooded Sloga’s beastly features before he looked down into his cup. “No, he didn’t want her back. But when the Carlin decides she wants something… she is relentless. She doesn’t give up.
“So she began to court him—her version of it, at least. Ordering him to attend dinners at the palace, to accompany her on walks. We both knew how dangerous it was to refuse. And when that didn’t work, she grew vicious. She told him that for every day he wasn’t in her bed, she would have one of the solitary Folk in the forest slaughtered. We didn’t believe her at first. Until we began to find their heads on our doorstep each morning.”
I swallowed, feeling sick. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, utter shame over the fact that I was her son crawling over my skin like insects.
“Faulis was distraught.” Sloga’s voice cracked with grief. “He felt to blame. He cursed himself for exposing his abilities in front of her, believing he had caused all of it. But we weren’t to know it would make her covet him like that. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but seeing the frozen, terrified faces of those fae on our doorstep each morning…” He shuddered. “We felt trapped. He felt trapped.
“And when she sent word that her oldest son was planning to pay Faulis’ parents a visit…” Sloga exhaled heavily, shaking his head. “He decided he had no choice.”
Idony put down her sewing and reached over to clasp Sloga’s hand. The ancient fae squeezed it gently, grief in every line of his hunched body. Seeing the depth of it in him, over the father I had never met, was surreal.
I had never wanted to be touched by anyone but Ash, but in this moment, I found myself wanting to reach out and hold his other hand just to offer some comfort. But I was rigid, unable to move, just waiting for him to continue speaking. Waiting to find out what else my mother had done.
“He refused to touch her at first.” Sloga’s voice broke. “But when she began threatening his parents’ lives yet again, he… did.”
“That’s…” I had to swallow back bile. “That’s abhorrent. It’s… evil.”
“He was different after that.” A tear dripped from Sloga’s eye. “It haunted him. He kept sneaking out to see me, and I tried to convince him to leave. I tried to tell him that his parents would have given their lives if it meant he would be free of her. They told him the same. They begged him. They said they were willing to die so she wouldn’t have this hold over him. They tried to seek refuge on seelie, but the Brid refused, even though Fioda spoke to her on my behalf. They moved deeper into the forest, trying to hide, but the Carlin told Faulis that she still knew where they were. She was keeping a close eye on them to keep him in line.
