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"For now."
Noah's laugh got drowned out by the bike's engine. She pressed into me, grip tightening, cheek placed on my back. I pushed away my brain's gut reaction to remind me of my unspoken promise to myself and everyone around me. Maybe I could do this, be someone for someone again. I wanted to at least try. To give this one a good go for her.
I started drawing to escape, a common need for most artists.
But I kept drawing because if I was going to drown in something, I wanted to be in charge of it. Everything else in my life felt uncontrollable—that wasn’t the case with my pen in hand. I controlled how long and how much art consumed me.
Noah’s grip made me feel like, for once, I had company at the bottom of the ocean. I didn't think she'd try to pull me up, and I didn't need her to.
The city was a blur at night, and the traffic was light. At each red, I placed my hands on Noah’s knees, squeezing to make sure she was okay. She’d call out questions about the area whenever the wind permitted. I answered willingly at first before giving her a hard time about it.
“I thought you were born and raised here,” I reminded her.
“I don’t get out much.” When she lifted her shoulders in a shrug, I felt the movement against my back. I swallowed, trying not to focus too much on how her breasts felt pressed against me. We’d been riding for almost twenty minutes, and in that time, she’d grown comfortable enough to not only tighten her arms, but her thighs around me. Thank God she couldn’t see my face, and thank God it was too dark for other drivers to see me, because I was cheesing hard. I’d forgotten how good it felt when a girl held onto me.
We were halfway to our destination when Noah moved her hand in an attempt to signal me. The wind had picked up the closer we got to the ocean, so I couldn’t make out anything she was saying. I immediately pulled into on-street parking outside of a busy bar to make sure everything was okay.
“Burgers. That’s my favorite burger place. Can we stop there?” she asked with a smile in her voice. My shoulders relaxed at the harmless request.
“If that’s what you want, sure. But first…” I reached for her hand and tapped it on my knee twice. “Do that if you want me to turn right, and on the other leg to turn left. If you wave your hands, I’m going to think something’s wrong.”
“Okay.” She practiced one more time on her own, and my skin burned under the jeans when I felt her palm linger.
“Give me an okay sign,” I said.
She held up her hand and I matched the signal.
“I’ll do that when I need to know you're good.”
Noah pressed her hand to mine so our fingers lined up. Her laugh was cute, and I had half a mind to turn around and kiss her again. Alas, I had a burger to get her and a spot to show her. Maybe she’d let me kiss her afterward.
“Thumbs down when you’re not good.” I turned the engine back on and got us ready to turn. She replaced her arms around me and pressed the ‘okay’ sign right in the middle of my breasts.
“Oh, crap.”
I felt her pull her cheek off my back.
“I didn’t mean to get…that close,” she shouted over the wind. “I’m sorry!”
I laughed when she mimed a frantic thumbs down across my stomach this time. I pressed an ‘okay’ on her thigh.
“It’s fine,” I promised.
Noah was careful with her hands from that point forward, not moving much for the rest of the ride to the burger place. Once we got the food, she held onto me with one hand while gripping the to-go bag with the other.
“You got used to this fast,” I said once I turned into the parking garage. My voice battled to be heard with the echoey sound of the bike’s engine bouncing off the cement ceiling.
“It’s not as scary as I thought it’d be.”
“I’ve been going under the speed limit,” I confessed. “Does this mean I can go a little faster later?”
She made a noise of disapproval. “I’ll think about it.”
Noah didn’t question me about the location until I got to the top floor of the garage. She looked around, the wind whipping her twists as she took in her surroundings.
“This isn’t the spot…is it?” she asked.
“I am disappointment after disappointment for you tonight, aren’t I?” I teased as I got off the bike and took off my helmet.
