AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Of course." She nodded and was quiet for a moment before saying, "Can I just make sure you're not upset with me?"
"Why would I be upset with you?" I turned to her. "Unless this was your plan all along? Try to distract me while you impress the higher ups?" It was a joke, but her frown immediately let me know I said the wrong thing.
"I'd never take this that far for something so…" Noah shook her head in disbelief. "Do you really think that?"
"Of course I don't think that," I whispered. I wasn't exactly in a consoling mood, but I needed her to know I cared about her. I cared about us.
"Then why would you say something like that?"
"It was a joke."
"A bad one and very mistimed."
"Sorry my humor isn't up to your standards," I said, trying to keep my voice light, even though annoyance pushed against my chest. "I just got informed that what I've been working toward for most of my career isn't going to happen. So, I'm not exactly in the right mindset to entertain you."
"You are upset with me." Instead of her usual sad look whenever she got disappointing news, she glared at me, anger making her shoulders stiffen and chin tilt.
I sighed. "Noah, the world's not going to end if someone's upset in your presence. Relax. I will figure this out and get back to you."
Her jaw tightened, and I stared back as the words settled between us. I replayed them in my mind and heard how condescending I sounded.
"Look–"
"No." She shook her head. "You're right. I should relax."
"Pastel…"
Noah turned back to her desk. "Talk to me when you've got everything figured out. I know how you enjoy doing that on your own."
My heart sank at how easy it'd been to push her away, how easy it was to turn back to my work and not have to worry about having a difficult conversation. I thought it’d be simpler to figure this out on my own. Now, I wasn’t so sure. I was supposed to be better than this, but that idea was harder to reach than I thought it'd be.
“You look like shit,” TJ said as soon as I walked in the doors.
“Wow, someone’s projecting.” I tossed a bag of burgers and fries on the table near his bed. “No hello?”
He scoffed. “Stop playing. You hate hellos.”
His face was swollen; probably not as bad as it’d been when he first came here, but still bad enough that I wouldn’t know it was him if he hadn’t said a word. The hurt feelings between us weren’t exactly water under the bridge, but there was an unspoken understanding. TJ could barely move his mouth, but the slight twitch of his lips was enough of an apology for me.
“You’re right,” was my apology. I sat in the empty chair next to his bed, Ash in a wooden chair on the opposite side of the bed. Mom slept in the tiny loveseat near the AC unit, wrapped in a thin hospital blanket and her winter coat.
“How long have you guys been waiting?” I asked.
“Since this morning.” Ash closed the book he’d been reading. I hadn’t seen him with one in hand since high school; it was an interesting change, a good one if it meant he’d keep the drama in his life on a page.
“You took your precious time,” TJ teased as he grabbed a burger from the bag. “As always.”
“I was working.” I paused for a second when I realized I was hurtling towards more clipped, angry responses. My mind was still wrapped up in the argument I had with Noah. I needed to fix it, but I didn't know how. Being on bad terms with her made everything uncomfortable; I couldn't even sit still, constantly readjusting as I thought of going to her.
I took a deep breath and finished. “But I’m here now.”
“It’s fine.” Ash leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. We made a small U shape between us, and it took me back to when we were kids, trying to figure out what to eat for the night. Ash always wanted something sweet, but TJ needed something greasy, and I thought adults were onto something when it came to vegetables. We’d figure out a combination of all three, the kitchen a mess with pancake mix, sausage juice, and potato shavings. Like most humans, I was prone to remember the bad, but when the good parts seeped through, I was a goner. I didn’t miss childhood. It was too scary not knowing what to do next and not having the tools to do it. I did miss the simplicity of it, though, how I could fix everything with a smiley face on the fried batter.
“You’re smiling like you’re happy I almost died,” TJ said around a mouth full of burger. “Shit, this is good.”
“Hey, slow down,” Ash complained, knocking the side of the bed with his book. “You’ll rip the stitches, and that nurse will be back to take that trash away from you.”
“I’m smiling because you didn’t,” I said softly. They both looked at me; admittedly, my tone was far gentler than ever before.
