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“I can do it.” He groans and stretches his back.
“I don’t mind. I have lots of energy this morning.”
His eyes are more fully open now, focused on my face. “Yeah?”
“Yes.” I put my phone on the nightstand and climb out of bed, walking barefoot over to the coffee maker to get his cup started.
As I work, he must find energy to get out of bed too because he slouches toward the bathroom. I hear the toilet flush. The water running. When he comes out, his coffee is ready, so I hand it to him.
He leans over to kiss me briefly. Very sweet. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You’re not going to do something silly like run this morning, are you?”
“No. Way too cold and damp for that. I’m going to get back into bed and drink this coffee.”
“Sounds perfect to me. I still have half my cup left.”
We do exactly as we say, climbing under the covers, drinking our coffee, and catching up with the world on our phones.
When I’ve cleared all my notifications and updated myself on all the news I care about, I set down my phone and coffee cup and turn toward Chase.
He glances over, his eyes warm but his lips sober. “Yes?”
“Nothing. Just looking at you.”
“Why?”
“Because I like the looks of you. Why do you think?”
“Do you?” He takes one last swallow of coffee before he sets down his cup.
“Yes. Of course I do.”
“You never really noticed before.” He doesn’t sound remotely resentful or impatient. More faintly curious than anything else.
“Yes, I did. More often than I was comfortable with. I just never let any of those thoughts take root in my mind.”
“Why not?” He scoots down farther under the covers, positioned on his side the way I am so we’re facing each other.
“I don’t really know, to tell you the truth. Just it seemed safer and more orderly to keep everything in its proper category. And you were in the friend category. I couldn’t let anything shake that. It might throw my whole world into disarray.”
“Why would it mess up your whole world?”
“Because you’re foundational. What would happen if I lose part of the foundation?”
His expression changes as he processes what I say. It goes from thoughtful to understanding to something very soft and tender. “I see. That doesn’t sound too bad then.”
“It’s not bad at all!”
“I always figured I just didn’t do it for you,” he says, mild and light.
I reach over and cup his jaw with my palm. “You definitely do it for me, Chase. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure I ever really knew what doing it for me felt like until you.”
His mouth twitches. “Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Okay then.” He shifts onto his back and pulls me over on top of him, sliding one hand behind my head to get me close enough to kiss. “Maybe we can do it for each other some more.”
