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When it feels like the condom might start leaking, he finds the energy to roll off me. He collapses beside me, holding on to the condom as if he still can’t quite make himself move.
Since I’m in better shape than he is, I take care of the condom this time, limping to the bathroom to throw it out, wash up, and pee.
When I return, he’s smiling at me from the bed.
I can’t help but smile back.
He stretches a hand out, and I take it. Let him pull me back into the bed. This time he simply fits me beside him, wrapping me in his arms.
Being with him like that—needy and needed both—is exactly what I want.
Eight
CHASE: This afternoon was amazing. You’re amazing.
Paige: LOL you’re texting??? You’re supposed to be in the shower, and you could just open the door and tell me!
Chase: I know. Just wanted to get it in writing.
Paige: Ok, then for the record, you’re amazing too! Don’t be surprised if I’m asleep when you get out. It’s been a really long day.
Chase: I know. Go to sleep. We can be amazing again tomorrow.
THE NEXT MORNING, I wake up around seven. Go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, get a cup of coffee from the single-cup brewer in the room, and then climb back in bed to check email and scroll on my phone.
Chase is still asleep. Last night, we went down to the restaurant here for dinner, and it was late when we came back up. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told Chase over text I might be asleep when he got out of the shower.
Yesterday felt like several months long, but it was also one of the best days of my life.
I occasionally glance over toward Chase sleeping beside me. He’s on his side, facing away from me. The covers are pushed down toward his waist, so I get a good view of his naked back, his tangled hair, the top of the Christmas pajama pants he’s wearing, sliding low on his hips.
Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy to have him wake up beside me for the rest of my life.
Probably too extreme a conclusion for this early in a relationship. But it doesn’t feel early. We’ve had a fully formed relationship for years—until this one final piece got snapped into place, completing the picture.
There are no more doubts for me. No debilitating fears. Chase always told me a relationship would feel different if it were with the right person. I would be secure. I’d know exactly how he feels about me.
And he was right. I do.
Maybe I’m finally allowed to jump in headfirst—be all of me without worrying that I’m too much.
I’m filled with bubbling giddiness as I try to focus on an email from one of my vendors about their page on my site. I’m not sure if I give it proper attention, but I do manage to compose a coherent response.
Eventually Chase shifts position beside me. His legs twitch. He stretches one of his arms out. Then he rolls over onto his back and blinks up at the ceiling a few times.
“Good morning!” I announce with intentionally obnoxious cheerfulness.
He mumbles grumpily, not forming any clear words.
I laugh and roll over so I’m facing in his direction.
“I smell coffee,” he mutters after a minute.
“I made some for myself.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You want me to make you some?”
