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“You contracted bacterial meningitis. Dr. Farland says you haven’t received any of the standard vaccines. That makes you extremely vulnerable to a number of potentially lethal diseases that are considered cured, like the one you got. As soon as you’ve recovered, we will make sure you get all your other vaccines.”
Well, I didn’t lie.
“Damn… okay,” she said, sweeping her hair out of the way to expose her neck.
Within seconds of the injection, her eyes drooped.
Chapter 16
Grace
Five long days passed since my last training with Romero, reconnecting with Marcus, Anton’s punishment, and me catching a potentially deadly illness. I was fine now. Dr. Farland gave me a clean bill of health. He still hounded me about getting a slew of vaccines. I wasn’t too keen even though they’d protect me. But my opinion on the matter didn’t count for much. Anton made it clear I couldn’t skip them.
Making my way to the auditorium to meet Romero, I reflected on the radical changes in Anton’s behavior. First, his unexpected apology. He didn’t strike me as the type of man who apologized often, if ever. It seemed sincere too and I wanted to embrace it… embrace him. But wasn’t that exactly how abusive men operated? They’d hurt you, then apologized saying they’d never do it again. You’d let your guard down and bam, they’d hurt you again. And you’d come up with crazy reasons why they were somehow justified. I’d been down that road with Paul before. However, nothing could ever justify a man, someone, anyone, hurting me because I displeased them. At least, he hadn’t accused me of bringing it on myself like Paul used to.
I had a lot of time to think while in that cell. That is, until pain overwhelmed me, and the illness prevented any coherent thoughts. William had also given me much to mull over. I better understood Anton’s obsession with work. Success wasn’t merely an ambition for him, it meant his survival. Yet, he already succeeded. What more did he need to prove? Was he just too addicted to his way of life, or did he not know how to be anything else?
I still couldn’t get over Anton giving up two full days of work for me. He fed me, bathed me, and watched sappy romantic movies with me – yes movies, plural. You could see the ‘time to make you cry’ moment coming a parsec away, but I still fell for it. Poor Anton looked distraught as he watched me bawl my eyes out during emotional scenes only to tell him how awesome they’d been. He didn’t get it. But for the duration of the movie, my own problems ceased to exist. It’s so much easier to be objective about other people’s woes. Sure, I shared her painful journey but in the end, I also shared her happy ever after.
I liked the new Anton. He was even better than first-week-Anton, with none of the occasional cold stares that boded ill. When not watching movies, we talked often. Most of the time while cuddling. Our conversations usually revolved around our respective youths as the future felt like too touchy a topic.
I learned a lot about his life on Braxia and his mother’s rejection when he tried to connect with her eight years ago. She refused further contact because her husband knew nothing of Anton. When he asked about siblings, she told him she got her tubes tied after birthing him so there would never be anotheraccident. What the hell kind of a woman would say something so heartless to her own child, wanted or not? Anton tried to act indifferent, but I could feel his pain. Although he didn’t admit it, like me, he longed for a family. Anton worshiped his father and ached to get to know his two younger half-brothers. But they were pureblood. Braxian rules prevented them from mingling or bonding.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t relax and enjoy this Anton. How long would this honeymoon last? What would trigger him next? The thought of him putting me back in that cage filled me with dread. His promise not to do that again only made me worry about what he might do instead. How do you prepare mentally for the unknown? My imagination was my worst enemy. Thinking about what Marcus said had been done to Darla and Steffie spooked me even more.
Romero arrived at the same time I did. In my joy at seeing him, I gave him a fierce hug which he returned, laughing. As I released him, it struck me that had Anton witnessed this, he could have taken offense. My heart filled with anguish. Although I kept reminding myself to keep a certain distance with Anton, deep down, I clung to hope. In my mind, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of him as my man.
Before that mess at Risqué, I had convinced myself that once the remaining five months ended, Anton and I would remain a couple. We’d have new rules putting us on an equal footing. However, I no longer believed our relationship could ever be healthy. Giving Romero a hug shouldn’t make me fear Anton might lose it. I missed Marcus, yet wouldn’t dare suggest spending time with him – not after Risqué. This wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted with any man.
“What’s wrong?” Romero asked, noticing my sudden change of mood.
“Nothing,” I said, not wanting to ruin our session.
Romero placed his hands on his hips. “Tsk, tsk. What did I say about honesty?”
I stuck out my tongue at him. “You said to be honest with my audience. You’re not my audience.”
“Actually, I said you needed to be honest with your audienceandin your relationships.”
“Nice try, Professor, but we’re not in a relationship.”
“I beg to differ,” he said, sitting cross-legged in one of the small auditorium’s front row seats. “I consider us friends. Friendship is a relationship. We also have a mentor-student relationship. That’s two relationships meaning you, darling, have to be twice as honest with me.”
Despite my somber mood, his grin was contagious. I sat on the stage, my feet dangling over the edge. The small auditorium contained two hundred and fifty seats. Despite the cheerful color of the seating, the room felt dark and barren, like too many failed auditions had sucked the magic out of it.
“We’re here for you to train me, Romero, not psycho-analyze me.”
“Your emotional state impacts your ability to perform. But I won’t pry if you do not wish to discuss it.”
I did want to discuss it. The past weeks, I felt more isolated than ever, with no one to share my thoughts with. Aside from Marcus, I could never make real friends. But even that was a special kind of relationship. This industry was cutthroat and most girls I met saw me as either competition, beneath them or tried to use me. Guys… well, if they couldn’t get in my panties, they didn’t have much use for me.
“I just came to the realization that the man I like can’t give me a good relationship. That for the next five months, regardless of our intimate involvement, I must guard my heart so I can walk away.”
Romero tilted his head. “What makes you think it can’t work?”
“If Anton had seen us hug, I’m not sure how he would have reacted. It was spontaneous and innocent, but he might have gone berserk. No one is more impulsive or spontaneous than me. And yes, you can translate that as I don’t think before acting.”
Romero smiled, rocking his crossed leg back and forth.
