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There’s a long pause, and even though I know I haven’t read the signals wrong, a very small part of me releases a seed of doubt. It forces me to wonder. To worry.
Olivia 11:18 AM
Is this the part where I’m supposed to accept?
Me 11:20 AM
Only if you’d like.
Olivia 11:21 AM
It’s not so much a question if I want to, but more so why you want to in the first place.
A flush of relief washes through me, solidifying everything I’m about to do.
Me 11:23 AM
Because I’d like to get to know you in a setting where there aren’t children nearby.
Olivia 11:23 AM
Because?
She wants a straightforward answer. Understandable considering most women who want something real—something concrete—don’t have time for the back-and-forth. For the games. While I’d love to give her my complete honesty, I also don’t want to immediately scare her off with what I want. With what Ireallywant.
But I still need her to know how serious I am about her.
Me 11:25 AM
Because what I want to know is much more than the surface level you’ve been giving me. It’s been sufficient, but it’s time we’re both honest with each other.
Olivia 11:26 AM
Honest about what, Theo?
Me 11:26 AM
This thing that’s been subtly growing between us for the past four years. Would you like to lie and tell me you don’t think it exists?
It’s a little forward, but like her, I don’t see the point in pretending the obvious isn’t there.
Olivia 11:29 AM
I don’t have time for anything casual.
Me 11:29 AM
Who the hell said anything about casual?
This time, the bubbles appear and fade three times over before her message comes through.
Olivia 11:35 AM
I have a child. Wanting something with me would mean accepting I’m not the only one involved. It would mean consistency and permanence. That’s asking a lot of anyone, especially someone your age.
My teeth smash together as my jaw locks. I wondered how far we’d get without her pulling the age card. I’m only eight years younger, but I understand the hesitation. Most men in their twenties don’t know what they want. They aren’t ready to settle and most damn sure aren’t ready for a kid—especially one who isn’t theirs.
But I’m not most fucking men, and the irrational desire I have to settle down with her is enough to make any excuse she might have completely irrelevant.
