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“I do. What was it like growing up in a large family? Would you recommend it, or do you think it was too many kids?”
“I absolutely loved it,” he said. “My brothers are my best friends, my parents are amazing, and we grew up on this huge ranch. I probably had one of the best childhoods anyone could have. My parents were lucky, though. They could afford seven children, and we had all this space and beauty and nature.”
“So there was nothing about it that you didn’t like?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I missed having my own space and having more time with my parents. Don’t get me wrong, they loved us and they showed us as much attention as they could. But with seven boys, there’s only so much individual attention to go around, you know? I know that they tried their hardest, but sure, there were times I wished I’d had them to myself.”
“Oh, you mean like when you had to take over the ranch and take care of everyone?”
He nodded slightly. “Being the eldest comes with a lot of responsibility, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. I’ve been blessed, and I want my brothers and their families to be happy. I have a lot of people I have to think about.”
“Above yourself, huh?”
“Funny you should say that. My dad made a comment quite similar to that this afternoon.”
“Oh?” I wondered if that’s what they’d been talking about when they went to chat in the study.
“Well, not exactly those words, but something similar. He asked me if I wanted to have a family someday and if I wanted to settle down. Told me I should focus on being more well rounded, I guess. But”—his voice lowered—“there’s just not enough time to dedicate to everything. I have so much on my plate right now. I’m trying to manage this ranch. I need to start up the eco-retreats. I need to oversee the building of different houses. The list goes on and on and on. I have to find other ways to diversify.”
“Are you that worried about money for everyone?” I asked, squeezing his hand. I knew what it was like to worry about money, the anxiety that came from it. And I only had myself to think about; I could only imagine what it would feel like to be responsible for so many people.
“We have healthy bank accounts. And of course, the land is worth millions, if not billions, but we would never sell. I would never allow anyone in the family to sell. You know, it’s just been a bad couple of years for crops, what with the weather. And screw those people who don’t believe in climate change.” He made a face. “Idiots. They only have to look at how our crops have been affected to become believers.” He sighed. “Sorry, I’ll try not to go off on any tangents.”
“Well, I promise you that I believe the world is round,” I assured him with a smile.
“Oh, you’re not part of the Flat Earth Society? Darn it.”
I laughed. “I’m not. You’re a really strong and wonderful man, Beau Hamilton.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Just because you are. And I respect what you’re doing for your family, even if you are making yourself into a martyr.”
“I’m not making myself into a martyr. I’m just doing what’s right. And one thing I’ve learned from my time on this earth is that when you do something, you have to do it well, and you have to do it to the best of your ability. And when you’re doing one thing to the best of your ability, it’s very, very hard to give the same amount of attention and time to anything else. And, well, right now my priority is the ranch.” His eyes looked sad. “It disappoints me; I can’t say that it doesn’t. I wish that you lived here in Montana. I wish I could spend more time with you, get to know you. I wish we could date and just see what happens.”
“But we can’t.” My heart cracked a little but I smiled, not wanting him to know how sad that made me.
“Okay, your turn for a question. A fun one this time.”
“Um, let me think.” A few seconds passed before I continued. “Who’s your favorite brother?”
“Oh, no. I’m not going to answer that question.” He shook his head. “That will get me into trouble.”
“So you do have a favorite brother?”
“It changes. But I guess Austin, if you have to know, is probably my closest brother, just because we’re the two oldest and a lot of responsibility has fallen on our shoulders.”
“Okay. I have another question for you, and you have to be honest.”
“What is it?”
“Do you like Lucy? And were you sad when Austin chose to marry her? Did you wish that you could have her?”
“That’s far too many questions,” he said. “But I’ll answer them. One, I think Lucy is amazing. I really and truly do. Two, I never wanted her. Not to be harsh, because she’s beautiful and she’s wonderful, but she and Austin had a connection from the beginning, and their personalities just match, you know? She’s not the one that caught my eye.”
“Oh, really?”
“Really,” he said as he moved closer to me. “Now, if it had been you that showed up, Austin and I might have come to blows.”
