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We continued dancing as he incorporated small moves into what he’d already taught me, little by little. I’d always been a good dancer by nature, so I picked it up easily enough. As the chorus of the song ramped up, he grabbed both my arms and stretched them out as we began to spin in circles.
My stomach was doing that fluttering thing again, and it had nothing to do with all the dancing. It had everything to do with the sparkling smile and the glittering eyes staring back at me as I whirled around the living room in my pajamas.
The last twenty-four hours of my life had been chaotic and embarrassing and strange. Yet, at that moment all I could do was laugh as Dominic Evans wrapped his arms around my waist and twirled me around to that country song until we were both laughing and breathless.
We slowed but didn’t stop as the next one began to play. It was softer. Dom pulled me closer to him, he grasped both of my wrists and brought them around his neck. I interlaced my fingers there. He ran his hands down my arms slowly as he searched my face for permission. I brought my shoulder to my ear and gave him a soft, closed-lip smile. He grasped my waist and tugged me against him.
He moved in slower circles than before as the new song went on. There was something familiar about it. I didn’t listen to country music much, but I thought I may have heard it somewhere before.
“Thomas Rhett.”
“What?”
Dom smiled at me. “You looked like you were trying to figure out the song. It’s ‘Die A Happy Man’ by Thomas Rhett.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t been paying much attention to the lyrics before, but something about the way Dom’s eyes met my own—the way his grip on me tightened—made me pay attention. I felt like this touch was branding me, and his eyes were burning straight through me. I was melting into him entirely the longer we stared into each other. I wondered if the song was speaking to him in the same way it was speaking to me.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to that.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah. I thought maybe I’d heard it before.”
“It’s a good one,” he said gruffly.
“This is a really good Hanukkah,” I responded.
He beamed. “Yeah?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“You deserve it, Macie.”
The sincerity in his tone had me feeling brave enough to think out loud. “One of the first things I thought about when I was riding to the hospital was that…I think if I’d still been with my ex he would’ve left me. I think the moment I crawled onto that table he would’ve walked away out of embarrassment, and he wouldn’t have been there when I got hurt.” I chewed on my lip. “Then, I think when I came home…I think he would’ve made me take care of myself. He wouldn’t have sat with me over dinner. He wouldn’t have done any of…any of this.”
Dom’s brows furrowed.
I often made an attempt not to talk bad about Jeremy. Not even to Penelope. He wasn’t a bad person. We just weren’t compatible, and after years of trying to force it onto each other, we’d both lost our patience. But tonight, I realized just how little he actually cared. He never once in three years asked me if I wanted to celebrate Hanukkah, he never tried to embrace the things I loved. Whether that be my faith, or my music tastes. He expected that I knew what I wanted at all times, and expected me to voice it. But when I did, he shut me down. He made me feel like my interests, my dreams, my impulses were miniscule. Unimportant. Shallow.
I don’t think a single person who’d ever met me would describe me as a quiet person. Before, during, or after Jeremy. But I was quiet with him. Not physically, but emotionally– spiritually. I muted myself, dulled myself for him. Maybe even before him too. For my parents, for my friends. In school and at work. I’ve been muted.
And even my muted self was too much for most people.
Right now, though—right now—I felt bright. I felt full. I felt seen.
“I’m just really glad I’m not in that situation anymore.”
“I’m glad for that too,” he whispered. “Do you know what Carter said to me the day after I met you?” I shook my head. “He said that Jeremy didn’t let you sparkle.” He laughed. “And I thought, if what I had seen that night wasn’t you sparkling, then Lord help me when I see what is.”
My arms slackened, and I tried to hide a frown as I loosened from Dom and tried to step away. He only gripped me tighter, holding me in place.
“Because the night I met you, myGod, you could’ve brought that entire club to its knees. It was like you moved in slow motion.” He removed an arm from my waist and gripped my chin, forcing my gaze to meet his. “And then I talked to you, and I realized it was so much more than the way you looked. You were passionate, animated, and excited about everything you talked about. About life itself.” He slid his hand along my jaw and up my cheek. “It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”
My breath got caught inside my lungs.
He smiled at me knowingly and removed his hand from my face. I realized I had leaned into him. So incredibly close to him. I shoved myself back, as far as his arm would allow. “It was the alcohol, and the dress I was wearing, and…” I sighed. “It was the fact that it wasn’t just Jeremy and I. Penny was there, and she made me feel like I could be myself, even when my boyfriend didn't.” That wasn’t the whole truth, either. It was also Dom. The way he made me feel that night. For some reason, I couldn’t let myself say that out loud.
“Well, Jeremy isn’t in your life anymore. And I don’t think you need alcohol or pretty dresses to make yourself sparkle. You do that all on your own. You’re sparkling right now.”
I giggled. “Well Iamdancing, and being concussed is kind of the same as being tipsy, so... All that’s really missing is the dress.”
