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“How so? Didn’t you spend it with Amaru?”
“Yes. Tonight was different. I guess with the weight of all the changes that have been happening lately, I realized how much I loved him and how grateful we are to have each other. We said we loved each other, and we kissed. And I mean really kissed.” Absently, I brushed my lips with the pads of my fingers. “It was the best one I ever had,” I admitted softly. “Then I got back to his place and… realized how stupid kissing him was. I can’t risk losing him for love. Lis has lost enough. He’s the only consistent man in her life. If she loses him, she loses AJ too.” Sucking my teeth, I hung my head and twiddled my thumbs. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Seems like you already did what you believe you should do. What you’re struggling with is accepting it.”
“True.”
“Why is that?” she asked, scooting closer to me. “Is it because you don’t want to accept it?”
“No, I don’t think I do.”
“Then you want to be with Amaru?” Her grin made me chuckle.
“What is that look for?”
“I would love to have him as my son-in-law. He practically already is.”
“Ma, we’ve only kissed. It’s a little premature to be thinking about marriage.”
“Not for me. I’m on the outside looking in, so I’m not blinded by fear and negativity like you. I see the possibility of this in a beautiful way, but I can also see your hesitation.” She cupped my chin and wiped a tear I hadn’t even realized had fallen. “Your fear is warranted, but it also gives way to your value of him and his place in you and your daughter’s life.”
“I can’t lose him, Ma,” I said through my sniffles. “I can’t even wrap my mind around the concept of not having Amaru in my life.”
“Why do you think it won’t work? You two practically co-parent each other’s kids. You’re great partners at work when you have to work together. You’re best friends. Why do you think a romantic relationship wouldn’t work?”
My eyes rolled to the ceiling as my head shook. “Ru hasn’t been in a serious relationship in years. His priorities are AJ and work, and us of course. He doesn’t desire a romantic relationship. If he wanted that from me, he would have told me long before now. Tonight would have been just about sex, and I don’t know how that would have affected us going forward. What if it made me possessive of him? What if he started avoiding me? The thought of it is just too much.”
“I don’t blame your way of thinking. Your father isn’t the best foundation, and men you’ve been with often have traits like him. Or lack the traits you need like he does. But I want you to promise me something.” She took my hand into hers as I nodded my agreement. “Promise me that if Amaru decides to pursue you and he shows you that you and Lis are safe with him, you won’t run away from the unknown.”
I wanted to tell her that wasn’t possible, but I agreed. Amaru would never pursue me romantically, so that was a promise I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping.
Sixteen
Amaru
The call I’d gotten completely destroyed my schedule for the day. The truth had finally gotten to Cheryl about Eric. Mia came clean and finally made an outcry to her mother. She confessed that she thought keeping the baby would cause her mom to give her more attention. Eric had been taking all of her free time. When Cheryl heard about what Eric had done to her daughter, she had a medical episode, and her family rushed her to the hospital because they thought she was having a heart attack.
Thankfully, it was just a severe panic attack. She’d already made calls to the men in her family, forcing Eric to flee the city for his safety. Because the judge told him he couldn’t travel as one of the conditions of his bail, there was now a warrant out for his arrest. To my surprise, his wife was working with the police to get him back to Memphis to face his charges, and I was grateful for that. I was grateful that Mia had been honest with her mother, and Cheryl was now in a position to give her daughter the attention, help, and care she deserved. From the sound of it, it was Mia’s wish to give the baby up for adoption, however, Eric’s wife had requested custody.
I didn’t know how they were going to handle that, but I told Jeremy to keep me posted since he was still representing Eric.
As I headed back home, I called Veronica. The holiday season was upon us, and I wanted to make sure she was going to come back home to spend time with AJ. She had an apartment here that she allowed her sister to stay in and keep up during her absence. When she was back in Memphis, AJ spent time with her there. Not having him until the actual holiday was difficult, but I made the sacrifice to honor that time with his mom. He was at an age where he was comfortable with the process, though he had his moments where he missed her and wished he could see her more.
When they first started, I used to try and send him to her for the weekend, but she often spent that time working and was unable to give him the time he needed. So to avoid tainting his perception of her and keep him from thinking he wasn’t a priority to her, I tried to make him feel as loved as possible for the both of us when she wasn’t around. My family, and Milli, helped out with the void of a motherly presence in his life.
Veronica didn’t answer, not to my surprise. I went to my text thread with Milli as I sat in my office. She’d sent me the daily picture of her and Alisia I requested when I was working from home and wouldn’t see her. Lis was looking like a mini Milli with a wide smile and comfortable sweatsuit, making me assume today was one of her P.E. days. Amelia was dressed in an olive-green suit that beautifully complemented her cocoa-brown skin. I replied and wished both beauties a good day before focusing on my work for the day.
Since I was mostly going over contracts and paperwork, today was the perfect day to work from home. Just as I was about to order Starbucks for both me and Milli, Veronica returned my call.
“Hello?” I answered, sitting back in my seat.
“Hey, you called?”
“Yeah, you on the clock?”
“Not yet, but I’m heading in for a twelve-hour shift.” She released a long breath. “Is everything okay with baby boy?”
“Yeah, I was just calling to make sure you’ll be here for Thanksgiving. If so, when are you flying in?”
